


Darkness Paradise

by Mercy_Wonder



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Season/Series 09, Betrayal, But mostly Casifer, Casifer fic, Character Death, Clueless Castiel, Deal with a Devil, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Ends in a polyamorous relationship, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Explicit Sexual Content, Flatmates (sort of), Forgiveness, Human Castiel, Implied Destiel - Freeform, Love Triangles, M/M, Manipulation, Multi, Partnership, Pre "Heaven Can't Wait", Protective Lucifer, Reckless Lucifer, Redemption Issues, Renewal of Grace, Season/Series 09 Spoilers, Season/Series 10 Spoilers, Season/Series 11 Spoilers, Second Chances, Worried Castiel, destiel feelings, smug lucifer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-04-01 05:54:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 84,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13991880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mercy_Wonder/pseuds/Mercy_Wonder
Summary: Castiel lost his grace, all the angels are on Earth and trying to kill him and he lost the support of his only friends because his mere presence put them in danger more than he helps them. He has to learn to live in a World he walked for five years yet know nothing about. At least as a human. He still struggles but find a way to survive. Things aren't great but they're fine. Until one day, he discovers that the Cage with capital "C" has opened, and Lucifer is free again. Moreover, the archangel seems to have taken an interest in him. With Heaven and Hell going after them, the newly human will try to trust the Devil and maybe find something in him he wasn't looking for, especially not in the archangel.





	1. Hey Brother

**Author's Note:**

> I intend to post a new chapter every sunday in the afternoon  
> So in the beginning, it was supposed to be a short story but every thing went out of my control and now it's a 18 chapter and about 80K+ words fic x) 
> 
> This fanfiction was inspired by the song "Darkness Paradise" by the french rock group Skip the Use. Here's the link if you are curious:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnRXARzVYUk

Homeless again.

Of course Castiel didn't blame Dean for chasing him from the bunker. He could understand that Sam' security was the most important. He was weakened by the trials to close the gates of Hell, and having the most wanted former angel by his sides could not be the safest option. So he understood, and did not blame Sam or Dean for leaving him alone in a hostile World full of fallen angels ready to kill him.

Really, he thought, he deserved it. He made so many wrong choices in his long life, caused so much suffering. He made a quick list in his mind. First, the most tingling memory of his failures, was the betrayal of Anael. He handed her to Heaven when she wanted to help him, and he needed her help. Then, there was locking Dean away, and letting Sam free the Devil. Of course, he eventually changed his mind and helped them. But it was too little too late. Then, from there, he started to lose his grace. Ironically, he thought, it was just a pre taste of what was coming to him, of his situation in the moment. But at the time, he is certain he was making the right choice. Stopping the Apocalypse, stopping Lucifer and Heaven's plans.

He should have stopped after that. But his brothers and sisters needed him to get Upstairs back on tracks. Or, at least, he thought. He just made things worst, didn't he? He started a civil war, allied with a demon, none less than the king of Hell, felt pretentious enough to think he could bring back Sam, but it just made him and his brother suffer. He broke his Wall, made him insane, opened the door of Purgatory, swallowed thousands of souls, slaughtered hundreds of his kinds and when he finally understood that what he was doing was wrong, it was way too late. The leviathans were released on Earth.

From here, all he did was trying to make things right, to be forgiven by the Winchesters. He was ready to seal Heaven. But he was stupid enough to be manipulated. Now, the gates were indeed closed, but the World was full of furious and lost fallen angels, and he was a human, with no trace of Grace.

Now, he had needs. To eat, to drink, to sleep. And he aged, and he could die from oh, so many things. Just like a human born. To survive, after losing the help of the only ones who could support him, he needed to work. Hopefully, he found a job, at a gas n'sip station. It was not grand, but he was contempt with it, not even sure of he deserved the kindness of his boss, Nora.

He worked here for weeks, doing his best to help with every thing he could, and trying to hide the fact that he didn't have a place to sleep, and so he slept in the back of the shop. He feared that if this was discovered, he would be once again chased. Because for the moment, this station was the only shelter he had. He was glad that none of his brothers or sisters had yet found him, and he dearly hoped it would stay that way. Even if he still had his angel blade hidden in his work jacket, and a knowledge of sigils and spells to protect himself, his chances against an angel, even a fallen one, were very low.

This morning, exactly one month, two weeks and six days after the Fall, started just like any other. Nora arrived at 8 am., and Castiel made sure to pack ans hide all of his stuff in the back-shop

“Ho, Steve, you arrived before me, as always”

He raised his head from his cleaning and gave her a little smile.

“It's nothing, I like to work here”

“You are a real gift” she sighed. “But you can't work more time than what is said in your contract. I... can't pay you for more”

“Is this what it's about?” He raised an eyebrow. “Don't worry about it, I don't mind about the money. I just... I'm happy to work and help you”

“Really?...”

The smile she gave him was more genuine this time, even if it showed a little bit more the dark circles under her eyes. She really must have done an exhausting amount of work before finally getting help. At this moment, Castiel was sure he was very helpful in working here.

“God, you must be heaven-sent”

He did all he could to keep a sarcastic snicker from his lips. “Not any more” He whispered. But his boss didn't heard, as wanted.

The day kept on going just like any other, and the former angel settled in a comfortable routine. He organized the aisles, cleaned the floor, sold some items and gas to clients and even helped a traveler to find his way back to his destination. The sun was starting to set when the doorbell tingled and someone came in. Raising his head from the counter, Castiel observed the man. He walked with assurance toward him, an amused expression on his face. He had messy blond hair, ice-blue eye that seemed to pierce through his skin and a smirk spread across his lips. The man was not so much taller than him, but the former angel felt suddenly insignificant under his gaze. And in danger. It took him few minutes to recognize him, surely because his flesh was not in a state of decomposition, and he hasn't seen this face for years. And even without his grace, he could feel all the power he radiated.

Castiel felt his member froze. Sure, he knew that at some point, some angel would find him, but the one that was now standing in front of him... How could he be free from the Cage? Could the consequences of his mistakes be even worst?

“Hello Castiel...” He finally said, stopping in front of him.

“Lucifer...”

The dark haired man Breathed, before he could finally get his hands to react. He drew his weapon and aimed to strike the creature in front of him. But his movement was stopped easily, by a simple grip on his wrist. He was just a man against an archangel.

“Aw... why so cold?” He smirked.

“If you want to kill me, then just do it”

He looked quickly around him before that, but it seemed that Nora was nowhere close. It was for the best. She didn't have to see this, but he felt sorry for leaving the rest to her. To find the corpse of her employee, having to clean all the blood, never getting any explanation and getting back to do all the work here by herself.

“Now, why would I want that?”

Castiel redirected his gaze toward Lucifer, who was staring at him but didn't make any hostile movement. He just had that smug look on his face, as always. When he thought about it, it was him who attacked first, the archangel did nothing but defend himself, still holding his grip on his wrist. But Castiel couldn't trust him. He was the Devil, and he was free to walk the Earth.

“Last time I saw you, you exploded me”

“I guess I did... But let's not talk about bad memories, all right? And... I'm going to put this away because it seems like it's making you kinda nervous”

And with these words, he slowly raised his other hand to take the angel blade from him. He just putted it on the counter and released his arm after that. But of course it did nothing to calm the nerves of the former angel, and he stood as tense as before, looking for something, anything to get out of this situation. He just had to stalk some time, but act quick.

“Then why are you here?”

“Well... I'm just enjoying freedom. Last time I tried to start the Apocalypse but, you know, it didn't end very well for me” Lucifer frowned “So yeah, just walking the Earth, being actually free of my movements. Now that Heaven can't watch every move I make. It's quite enjoyable. And something tell me I have 'you' to thank for that”

Lucifer pointed his finger at him. Castiel could feel a lump in his throat at these words. As if casting his sisters and brothers out of Heaven wasn't enough, he had to have the Devil thanking him for that. Finally, he could feel a tingling pain on his fingertip. At the same time he could feel himself starting to shake slightly. Fear or nervousness, he hoped that he would be unnoticed.

“How did you find me?”

“Hey... You should be thankful that I did find you first. The other didn't seem so inclined to let you live”

“The others?” He asked, fearing what he would hear.

“Yes. Other fallen angels on your tracks. I just took the information they had”

“Where are they now?” He inquired, even if he was sure he knew already the answer. And he would not like it at all.

“Castiel...” Lucifer sighed. “Don't tell me you care about brothers and sisters that wanted to kill you”

He was right. Maybe he didn't care. But he needed to get some more time. Now that he was human... he had more difficulties to focus on two things at the same time.

“Don't expect me to be grateful to you because you killed people of our kind”

“Well... I wouldn't be against it but I guess you are a difficult one”

The dark-haired man observed the other take some steps, observing what was around him, as if he was hesitating. But he knew better. Lucifer was a determined archangel. He always had something in mind, and he knew what he wanted in coming here. It was just a game for him. Castiel had to act quick, but he was soon done.

“So if you don't want to kill me, why did you come here? Just to brag?”

“Well yes, obviously. Part of it” He turned to face him again, raising his hand to tap his lower lip thoughtfully. “But that is a good question” he nodded as he answered. “Maybe to warn you, or I just wanted to see if you were really still alive. You've been through much, little one”

“Yeah, well maybe I'm not ready to stop just yet”

And on these words, Castiel finished to draw the sigil and slammed his bloodied hand on it. He felt the energy wave, but not like before. This time, he did not felt scattered across the planes of existence. This time he was not expelled. He just saw a blinding light and heard a scream so high pitched he thought it could destroy his eardrums.

When he could see properly, Lucifer was gone. He released the breath he held and took another one to calm the beating of his heart. Now this one was a close call. His gaze dropped to the sigil drawn in blood on the counter. He had no ideas on how to explain this to Nora, but he had to find out if he didn't want to sleep on the streets again.

The thing was... he didn't even know if he could stay here, with her. Angels found his traces, and Lucifer got to him. This place was not safe any more and staying would just put his boss in danger. Albeit leaving would not protect her more than leaving. His brothers and sisters would not stand back on anything to find him, if they really wanted to. And Lucifer would come back... He was just in a dead-end. Whatever he could do, his peaceful days were over. But Maybe he could just limit the damages. Maybe he could do as to protect the innocent woman that did accepted to help him when no one else would.

Then he decided to stay, and look for even more efficient wards. He knew that against Lucifer, it would be pointless. Now he knew exactly where to find him, and if he didn't kill him immediately when he found him the first time, now he should be pissed. Castiel would not be so lucky the next time. He had to find a way to defend himself against the Devil.

But for now, the most important thing, he decided, was to clean the blood he left on the counter.


	2. I've got something to say

As soon as the station was deserted with the arrival of the night hours, Castiel started his researches. He was not very optimistic, because he knew it was likely that he didn't find anything. He already tried during the Apocalypse and he came empty handed. So with no big surprise, he found no indication on how to defend himself against the Devil. He knew the usual salt lines would be useless, for he was an archangel and not some sort of big boss demon. The next option he saw was the holy oil, and that is why he prepared a whole stock of it, that he tried to keep close to have access to it but still hidden. He really didn't want to worry Nora.

Time passed and Castiel stayed aware of every person that passed the door of the Gas'n'Sip station, always ready to react. But there were no traces of Lucifer. After few weeks, he started to think that maybe, he would not come back. But he chased this idea off his mind. It was the better way of being caught by surprise. He had to stay aware.

After some more time, he decided that he had saved enough money to rent a place to live in. Not having to hide all of his stuff from Nora could only be a good thing, he decided. Even if he would still keep a stock of Holy oil, salt and his angel blade close. But yeah, he decided that he needed to move. It could only be a good thing not to stay H24 at the same place. It would maybe confuse people who would get on his tracks. And if he could manage to live close to Nora's pace, he could make sure that nothing happened to her. He definitely didn't want something to happen to her because of him.

The former angel could not rent a house in the same neighborhood, because it was way too expensive. Be he did find a tiny apartment somewhere not so far. It was clearly cheap, but that was all he could afford. Human life was definitely expensive. The flat had only two rooms. One of them was a little bathroom, with just enough place to shower. But he thought it was good enough, because he couldn't really remember the last time he had a proper shower. The apartment had, of course, no furniture. He would have to buy the rest.

The very first thing he did when he got there, was warding the place with all the sigils he could remember. Then the first thing he pursued was a fridge, even if he had not much to put in. After some nights spent to sleep just in the sheets he used in the station, he bought a mattress to put on the floor, and he completed his little place by getting a wooden table and a chair he found abandoned in the streets. It was not the comfort of the bunker, but he told himself that he could not miss what he didn't deserved.

The good aspect of not having a comfortable place to stay was that he was still inclined to work for a lot of hours, and even for night shifts. He could see that, now that things were clear about the money, Nora appreciated that. He preferred to work alone. At least, ha was sure that if an angel came for him, there were better chances that no one else would get into trouble.One morning, when he came back from a night shift, he felt a feeling of dread hanging in the apartment. He quickly got out his blade, ready to defend himself, but all he got as an answer was a snort.

“Ho, please... You know this would be useless against me”

Castiel didn't have to wait for his eyes to get used to the darkness. He immediately recognized this voice, and this tone. And once again, his whole body froze in fear, while his mind raced to find a way to get out of this situation. He saw Lucifer move from the chair he was sitting in, the only chair of the room, and that's when he noticed a pile of objects on the table.

“What are those?”

“Ho, that? The weapons some of your brothers wanted to use to kill you”

“You-”

“Saved you? Yes, you're welcome” Lucifer interrupted him with a cocky smile.

Castiel stayed silent, considering the answer he just got, then finally asked “... Why?”

All he got as an answer was a shrug. Lucifer got a little bit closer and Castiel could feel a shiver run down his spine. The tone on which he said that... as if it was really nothing. But he just killed angels. And the pile was composed of, at least, six angel blades. The archangel reached for the light switch behind him, and the light got on. The former angel had to squint his eyes to get used to the change of luminosity.

“You are so human now...” he heard say. “All the other are still... well, them. They still got this angelic composure but you, you are far more fallen than the others. What happened to you?”

“What happened to you?” He replied, not wanting to give explanations to the first Fallen, and still wondering how the archangel was free from the cage.

“Ha, well... if you really want to know, I have no ideas. I just woke up on Earth, isn't it grand?”

“It depends for whom.”

“Come on now, little brother...”

He took another step closer, and Castiel could not stop his reflex that was to tighten his grip on his angel blade. Maybe it was the proximity, or the use of the word “brother” directed at him, but he felt highly uncomfortable.

“Why do you keep on being so distant? I did nothing to hurt you, did I? I mean, since I came back. It's the opposite of that, I protected you!”

“Exactly. That is exactly what is suspect. Why do you do this? “

“Maybe because I care about you”

He had to admit, he was a little taken aback by these words. But standing in front of him was the father of lies. He just hid his true intentions, which, he had a tiny idea of what they could be. But he would not let him.

“Lies”

“Or maybe I'm just curious”

Now, that sounded a bit more like him.

“Why? What do you want to know?”

“Castiel... I already told you once, didn't I?” He sighed. “You and I, we are not so different. We were the only ones to think by our own, and for that, we were cast out. I was Heaven's most wanted, and now you are. Can't you see some kind of pattern here?”

“Excuse me if I don't” he said, squinting his eyes.

“I'm just saying, I know what you are going through, and I want to help you. Because no offense but you are way weaker than me and I'm not sure if you could survive being alone against all of the angels ever created. Especially now that you are human and without your little friends”

They finally got there. Castiel knew that at some point, Lucifer would bring the Winchesters. Because that could only be his attention, getting what was designed for him. Himself would only be a tool to bring him to them. A mean to an end. But he would rather die.

“I won't get you to Sam Winchester.”

“For the love of-” Lucifer rolled his eyes and sighed, clearly in a sign of frustration. “I don't care about Sam Winchester. Well, I mean... Sure, he is my true vessel. But the last time I was inside him, he threw me back into the Cage. I don't want to go back there just yet”

And just here, maybe Castiel thought he saw some glimpse of fear in the archangel's eyes. But he felt soon too full of confusion to focus more on what he thought he had seen.

“But then... Why do you insist on helping me?”

“this is getting a little bit repetitive now. I hate to repeat myself”

“I am nothing like you”

The devil rose one of his hand and Castiel took a step back, still on his guards. But it was just a gesture he made to scratch the back of his head, as if he was thinking of what to say next. Then he just crossed his arms.

“Yeah, I knew that's what you would say. Believe me. You just can't see it yet. But we are two great creations of our Father. The only two that had the guts to rebel, and the two angels that fell because they loved too much. We have our own motivations, our own thoughts and that's why we are the only ones who can understand each other”

A heavy silence fell on the room. And the two men just stared at each other. Castiel because it was something he did. Before, it helped him to figure people out. He could see so much more far beyond the flesh of their faces. He could see what they were made of, he could see their minds and their souls. He could even see the grace of his brothers and sisters. Not any more. Now all he saw was a pair of piercing icy-blue eyes staring at him just like they could read through him, and they surely could.

For a second, he caught himself regretting not being able to see past the face of the man Lucifer wore. The archangel was the most beautiful angel of all the creation, it was a fact. And knowing that he could never witness this beauty again pained him. Then there was some movement on the face of the Devil. One of his eyebrows rose slowly, showing some kind of surprise and appreciation, so the former angel decided to break the silence.

“So what do on intend on doing now?”

“Seems to me like you could use some assistance.”

“Right. And you would help me because you are so generous.”

“Don't be ridiculous. I'm curious. Becoming human is the worst thing that could happen to an angel. So I wonder why our siblings still care so much about killing you and by the way, ending your suffering”

Castiel did not answer. He would have love to contradict him, to tell him that being human wasn't that horrible, but the truth was that he felt terrible. He felt so vulnerable and useless, struggling just to stay alive. He couldn't even protect the people he cared about, or to do so he had to stay away from them. He did nothing but wrong them. He definitely deserved to be human, to be so weak, and he wished Lucifer would have killed him when he first found him.

Caught in his thoughts, he didn't even noticed that he clenched his fists to the point that his hands were shaking and his knuckles turned white.

“Well, I guess you're not in the mood to talk so... My thousands years of captivity made me quite patient. I suppose I can wait for you to get more comfortable” Lucifer proposed with a surprisingly gentle tone.

“As if I would ever be comfortable around Satan” he replied bitterly.

“Yeah... I can understand that you don't trust me. You're the kind to hold a grudge, aren't you? But I can assure you that one day, you will see beyond all the cliche stories about me. Now, in the meantime...” Lucifer got back to the table where there were still the six angel blades of his murdered siblings. “You want to keep those? He asked. Because now that you have this archangel on your shoulder...”

“Throw them away”

The fallen angel really didn't need a reminder of all the victims of his mistakes. And he didn't need them as weapons he always carried his own angel blade on him.

“Wise decision”

Suddenly, Lucifer disappeared. And Castiel could understand now why Dean always hated it when he appeared and disappeared out of nowhere. When he was finally alone, all the tension in his body left him and his hold on his blade released a bit. He was just so tensed around the archangel. No without reasons, obviously. He just couldn't figure what were his true intentions so he had to be extra careful.

He took a few steps toward the table when he heard a flapping sound behind him. He had to gather all of his strength not to scream, instead he flipped around and cursed under his breath. He spat:

“Why are you still here?”

Castiel tried his best to be as insufferable as possible, to try to keep the Devil away from him. If he could not get him with a fight, he could try to get him with annoyance. But it seemed like his efforts were useless. Lucifer would see right through him and it didn't bother him at all, it amused him, if his smile was anything to go by.

“I can't really protect you if I'm not close now, can I”

The former angel was pretty sure he could, since he already did it and he was one of the most powerful being on Earth. But he thought about it and decided that, if Lucifer was free, he preferred to have him around. At least he could keep an eye on him, even if he could do nothing to stop him if he went side ways. He knew it must have been his fault if he was free so he had to take the responsibility. He sighed:

“I guess you are right...”

“Perfect” Lucifer smiled broadly. “I'm glad we agree on something, roomie”

Castiel eyed him but soon, hi body remembered him of his human condition. He just worked all night and having to face the Devil like that... he just felt exhausted. As if reading his mind, which he probably did, Lucifer declared:

“Don't mind me. Just... Take care of your little business”

The fallen angel hesitated during a few minutes, but then he decided that he would be of no use if his tiredness made him less aware. So he made some steps toward the mattress before turning back to Lucifer

“I don't trust you.”

“Surprising.”

“So please, just... don't kill me in my sleep.”

“Asked so nicely”

He gave him a smile so Lucifer-like, it made Castiel cringe. But he didn't think more and just slid under the sheets. This time, he would sleep totally dressed. A futile defense against the prince of darkness but it still made him more comfortable. With the fact that he kept his angel blade right next to his pillow, in a gesture that reminded him of Dean. He then heard steps on the floor, and a chair being pulled. With no surprises, it took him few hours to fall asleep.

Castiel woke up to the appetizing smell of food. He quickly opened his eyes and by the time his vision became clear, he saw more food than he was supposed to have in his apartment. Omelet, bacon and eggs, home fries and pancakes were displayed on the table. He rose in a hurry and looked around, suspiciously. When his gaze finally found Lucifer:

“Morning, Little one.”

“What is this?”

“I believe this is called “breakfast”, or, according to the time, “brunch”.

“Yes, I know what-” He stopped himself and sighed deeply. “Why?”

“I got bored” Lucifer shrugged. “And I heard it is important for humans to eat a good breakfast when they wake up. So will you...”

He took a step aside and designed the different dishes showed on the table, just for Castiel. He had to admit, they all seemed pretty appealing. And the facts that he never had such a meal and was currently starving didn't help to resist. He sighed once again and took a seat.

“I just hope this is not poisoned.”

“Ho please, don't insult me. If I wanted to kill, I would have done it ages ago.”

“I guess you would have...”

Silently, the dark-haired man took a fork and started picking at the pancakes covered in whipped cream and maple sirup. He didn't think Lucifer had excellent cooking skills, or whoever the person he took these from, but at the time it must have been the best lunch he ever had. In comparison, before that he only ate with the Winchesters in crappy diners, or he was homeless and was contented with what he found in garbage cans. From the corner of his eye, he saw Lucifer smirk:

“I suppose that you are welcome.”

“Do you really expect to bribe me with food?”

Castiel finally asked. But he didn't look the archangel in the eyes. He was still very surprised by his attention and maybe, just maybe, it started to work. Why would Lucifer keep him alive after all? Sure, he could understand that he was after answers and the newly human in front of him was one of the few that knew the whole story. But he didn't understand how closing the doors to Heaven could have affected the Cage. And surely, there must have been other ways, much quick ways to get answers. He just... didn't knew what to think. But there were absolutely no ways he would let his guard down. Lucifer was still Lucifer. He must have been just playing some sort of sick game.

“Drop the act already, little one. You know I can see right through you”

Lucifer declared, raising his eyebrows. A heavy silence fell on the room then. Castiel just didn't know what to say. The archangel just confirmed his doubts. He was indeed reading his mind. And he thought it was unfair that he could not do this any more. It would only be justice to see in the mind of Lucifer. But he just continued to eat, in silence. From one of the corner of the room, he could feel the gaze of the archangel on him but thankfully, he added nothing.

When he was done eating, he rose from his seat and cleared his throat:

“... Thank you...”

“Well... you had some difficulties to pull this out” Lucifer replied, with his eternal mocking smile.”

“Would you just please be quiet?” Castiel said, starting to clean the table. “I'm trying to be grateful for your protection here.”

“It's no problem. Really, I don't break a sweat. Angels are weakened. But you know I don't do this freely.”

“Obviously. I just can't figure what is it you want yet.”

“I'm sure you could guess”

When he turned around, the Devil was just right behind him, and stared at him an intense gaze that made his whole body shiver. It wasn't easy to forget that the man that looked kind of innocent in front of him was in reality the father of all sins. But the face he wore was kind, and he made a use of it. The blond man tilted his head:

“Hm... Or maybe you can't.”

“It surely would resolve the trust issue if you told me”

Castiel replicated, narrowing his eyes. They stared into each other' eyes for a moment, as if they were trying to resolve the other' mind puzzle. But the fallen angel knew Lucifer didn't have to try that hard.

“Now, there wouldn't have any fun in it would it? What I can suggest is, I protect you from the mean angels that want you dead, and in exchange you let me stay, and stop considering me as the bad guy. Deal?”

Castiel considered his options for a moment. He just couldn't trust the Devil. He knew that, eventually, it would get back to him. But in the other hand... since he got back, he didn't see any sign of apocalypse or devilish deaths. So maybe, just maybe, he could tell the truth. Then, he could have the benefit of doubt. Furthermore, he just couldn't know if he would have survived in a fight against six of his brothers and sisters. He really did help him on that. And Lucifer was currently the strongest being on Earth. He could still use him to help the angels to get back to Heaven, leaving this World. Then he would not be a target any more and he could get back to Sam and Dean.

“I could accept you deal-”

“You could? That's a pretty sweet offer I'm making.”

“But I want you to help the angels get back to Heaven.”

“What? Like some sort of good action? Just what exactly did they do for me? Apart from hating me and making my death their number one priority. Well.... that is, of course, before you came along.”

“Consider it part of our deal.”

“You can't be serious” Lucifer rose one eyebrow. “What is there for you to win in this exactly?”

“Except the fact that that there won't be any more angels that want to kill me roaming the Earth?”

“You really think they will stop once they get Heaven back? It will just get them more resources to find and smite you.”

“That's a chance I'm willing to take.”

“And for what?” He asked, then the realization slowly drew on his face. “Ho... For you can get back to your little human friends... Don't tell me you got _that_ attached to them.”

“What do you care? What I do then is none of your business. And I will do the same for you. You could even take charge of Heaven, I don't care. As long as you leave the Earth be”

When he said these words, he slowly realized that it couldn't be a good option. He was just giving Lucifer what he always wanted. Even if it was not his to give. But if Lucifer could reopen Heaven... he supposed it would only be his right.

And... he couldn't bring himself to care. He was human now. And all he could care about was returning to his precious friends. Being far from them... it was even more painful now that he had human feelings. He just didn't want anything to have to do with angels and Heaven and things above a normal human life. As normal a human hunter life could be.

He just wanted to get back to the bunker, be forgiven by the Winchesters for what he had done and finish his life with them. Continue to help them, as a hunter. Get back to these cartoonish case times, minus the mind control.

“I guess we could add this in the deal. But then we would have to balance it. So what do you say that... I protect you and I find a way to get the angels back to Heaven, and in exchange, you let me stay here and do whatever I want, except of course bringing humanity to its end, since you seem to be quite stuck up on this, and... you never let those Winchester boys try to go against me or throw me back into the Cage. Seems fair enough?”

Lucifer stared at him with a wide grin, waiting for his approval. Because of course he would have to approve. He was the only chance he had to make things right. He would not let the Winchesters down once again, even if it meant that he had to hide the return of this nemesis. The Devil extended his hand before him with an expecting look on his face.

“Deal”

Castiel took his hand, and sealed their deal.


	3. Life is a game and I've lost a lot

“Hey Castiel”

The man called Castiel was so startled by the interjection he almost dropped the furniture he was carrying. No one was supposed to know his name wasn't really Steve, except people from his past. And they carried no good news. He quickly turned around, hand on his blade, when he saw the face that was smiling at him.

“Lucifer. I told you not to come near here.”

“But I got bored” the blond pouted. “I can't really protect you if I can't follow you where you are the most of your time. And still, there are no sign of any angels on your tracks. Seems like your sigils were enough to hide you, so I really have nothing to do.”

“Quit the act already” he huffed. “Do you really have nothing to do?”

“Ho, yeah, about that... Maybe I could make some progress if I knew where to start looking”

Lucifer' voice became cold and the sales associate used all his determination not to bow his head. For a moment, he considered his options. The less Lucifer knew, the better. But it was obvious that the investigation couldn't progress at this rate. He took a deep breath, and his eyes met the ice-blue ones of Lucifer, that were looking intensely at him. But he couldn't see rage, or malice. Surely some impatience but nothing too... bad.

“You should probably look for Metatron.”

“Excuse me, you said Metatron, the old scribe?” Lucifer asked, without hiding all the surprise on his face. “He is gone for... almost as long as Dad. He's even surely dead by now.”  
“Believe me, he is not” Castiel insisted, resuming the tidying of the aisles. “He even had a primordial importance in the fall of the angels. If you find him, I'm sure you can unlock the doors of Heaven.”

“When you say primordial, you mean as important as yours?”

Castiel stopped and turned to the archangel, a hard look on his face. The former held his hands in front of him in a sign of resignation.

“Right, right, I understand. It's been a week but you still don't trust me and don't want to talk about it. I get it...”

“It's not that I-”

“Steve, do you think you could-”

To the voice of Nora, he turned around to face her, a distressed look on his face. He just really didn't want her to meet Lucifer. He didn't want Lucifer to meet her. He wanted to keep him away from her, not to get her into these complicated stories.

“Ho, I didn't see you were with a friend...”

“Hum... yes, I was, hum... We were just...”

“We were just chatting” interrupted Lucifer with a huge smile on his face.

The former angel could tell just by his tone that this amused him, once again, he was just playing. He just couldn't see that he didn't wanted his friend to get in any trouble, could he? But Nora seemed oblivious to Lucifer's attitude. Probably because she couldn't know who he really was. More than that, she seemed charmed by his smile. Castiel thought that there wasn't no reasons. After all, the Devil did charmed humans since the beginning of times.

“So, hum...” She hesitated, visibly a little bit uncomfortable for interrupting something. “To whom do I ow the pleasure?”

“The name's Lucif-”

“This is Luci...” Castiel corrected. Hearing his true name would only freak out Nora.

“It's a pleasure” added “Luci” to support Castiel.

“Ho, Lucy? That's... uncommon for a man” remarked Nora.

“Luci with an “i”, actually. This is a name from whatever foreign country” he explained with a disinterested movement of his hand.

“Well, It's nice to meet you. But I just hope that you're not here to distract Steve.”

“Ho, absolutely not! I wouldn't dare to turn him away from his so important tasks. Actually, I was just leaving” he explained looking at Castiel with insistence.

“Very well” he answered.

“But just before that. I think you should take a look in the newspaper. I'm sure you will find this very interesting, “Steve””

Lucifer handed him an article that seemed to get out of nowhere. He took it and when he wanted to ask more to him, there was no one standing in front of him. Castiel could just curse him under his breath. It really was too weird to disappear like that. He didn't mind any more, getting used during the week they shared but really, he had to stop doing this in public places. He turned to look at Nora but thankfully, she seemed too interested in the newspaper to notice the strange exit of “Luci”.

“Don't tell me you are interested in those sordid stories...”

“What is it?” He asked, completely oblivious to what Lucifer meant.

“Cases of unexplained disappearances and weird substance found in the city. You like those stories?”

Maybe in a rude manner, Castiel just took the newspaper from her hands and started to read through the articles. Obviously there was nothing natural in this. It was exactly the kind of case Sam and Dean would work on. He read through once again, this time more intently, before he could make up his mind. He knew Dean kicked him out but there was something in this city that was killing people. And he just couldn't let innocents die because he was too afraid to make a call.

“I have to go”

Without waiting for a reply, he hurried outside and took out his phone. But once it was in his hand, he hesitated once again. What was he going to say? They haven't talked since... He didn't even know if Dean would want to hear from him again. After all, he didn't took any news. But he must have been busy. He was too. Then came the biggest issue. Was he really ready to lie to Dean's face? To hide the fact that he now was ally with the Devil? He decided that he couldn't. It would be preferable to just... not see the Winchesters. Not yet. Moreover, he promised Lucifer that he would not let them attack him. And he knew perfectly that the boys had all the reasons in the World to attack him on sight.

He mentally prepared himself and dialed the number. There were two rings before he heard a click, and a voice he hadn't heard in too long:

“ _Cas?”_

“Hello Dean” he said with his so usual voice, trying not to betray all the emotions he had.

“ _Hey man, what are you-”_

“I think I found a case for you. People missing without any traces, the only thing left on the crime scene was some sort of gooey substance. I thought that was of yours and Sam' caliber.”

“ _Well... It's nice to hear from you too. What have you been-”_

“How is Sam doing?”

“ _He is fine, for now. How about y-”_

“And did you make any progress on the angel tablet?”

“ _Cas...”_

“Is every thing going okay for you two- three, with Kevin of course.”

“ _Dude! Cool down, okay?”_

Castiel became silent, fearing that he made too much. He was suspicious, wasn't he? He asked too many questions. Now Dean obviously knew something was going on, he definitely lost his trust. He just... he couldn't...

“ _Cas?”_

“Yes.”

“ _You okay there, buddy?”_

The only answer he got was silence. Just what did he hope he would answer? That every thing was fine? He was just a former ancient being with little knowledge of human's uses. He was hunted and afraid and alone and... Well, not really alone any more. But that was just because he made a deal with Lucifer. He made a deal with Satan. He definitely _could not_ be okay.

“ _Cas!”_

“I'm fine, Dean.”

“ _... Good. So, how do you want to do this? You want me to pick_ _you_ _or-”_

“What? No, I- I have a work to do, I can't go on monster hunting”

That was an enormous lie. He could not dream of anything better. He loved to help at the station but honestly, if he could just get back to the hunting life... he would make such a huge difference. But he just couldn't trust himself. If he had just a glimpse of the life he could have with the Winchesters, he knew he would break. He could not hide his alliance with Lucifer. He would beg Dean to let him come home to the bunker with him. He just wasn't strong enough.

“ _Okay, no problem”_

Castiel left out the breath he didn't notice he was holding. And just when he was going to hang up, he heard Dean's voice again.

“ _You know I don't hate you, right?”_

“Of course I know” he breathed.”

“ _And if there was a way to just... I don't know, just, get you back to the bunker, I-”_

“I have to go now, Dean.”

“ _... Of course. Take care.”_

“I will. You take care too”

He h u ng up and breathed slowly, very slowly. He had to calm down the beating of his heart.  The last thing Dean said... He knew he just couldn't hear it. He couldn't hear that he regretted his decision and that if he could, he would make things differently. He knew it already, because  t he  hunter  had a good heart . But he knew too that Sam' security was the priority, above anything else. He agreed. He could never forgive himself if he putted the Winchesters at danger, again.  H e didn't think he had the strength to hear it and continue to lie to them. 

But he missed them. So bad. He  could have just accepted Dean's offer. Maybe... an old hunt would have been good. He didn't know. But he had to forget it. He clearly was very cold with Dean. Surely he would not give him another chance to help. 

 

Castiel really, really didn't expected this when, the next day, he saw a very familiar  face:

“Dean, what are you doing here?” He asked, keeping his voice low.

“Well, hello to you too Cas”

The dark-haired man stopped, realizing that his attitude may have been a little rude. He just felt very nervous since he talked to the hunter the day before and apparently, it was not without reasons. But it wasn't the only reason. He just couldn't find Lucifer since he introduced him to Nora and that was worrying. Because what could possibly go wrong, he was only the Devil. He hadn't heard any news and just remembered that he couldn't contact him. So he was just stuck in this situation, powerless. Though he couldn't possibly ask for Dean's help. He had to hide Lucifer from his closest friends, or the deal would be broken and who knows what would happen next. Dean putted him in a very hard situation. He really didn't know if he could hide it, lie to his face.

A snap of fingers got him out of his thoughts.

“Cas? You're with me?”

“Yes! Yes of course. Hello Dean.”

“So, this is where you work, huh?”

“Yes. I'm a-”

“Steve, I would hate to profit of- Ho, I'm interrupting again, aren't I?”

Castiel turned to his boss, who was now laughing nervously. She had some kind of gift to see people he wanted to keep away from her. But here it was. She met Lucifer, and Dean.  He tried to find something to say, but Dean talked first.

"Dean" He introduced himself. "Don't mind me. Just take care of what you must take care of”

“Ho, well...” she turned back to Castiel. “I know tomorrow is your night off, and I would hate to avail you, since you are my employee but... Do you think you could swing by my house, and... Well, there's Tanya... and you must know how hard it is for a mother to find decent dates these days... I would hope she would not be a problem of any sort”

The former angel was literally drowning in confusion, not understanding what was the point of Nora. She was stumbling on her words and had difficulties to express herself but Castiel knew he owed her too much to refuse a service.

“Of course, no problem”

And with that, he saw all the tension leaving her face, slowly being replaced be relief and a bright smile.

“Steve, you are awesome. Thank you.”

“I'm... happy to help.”

“Then I guess I don't mind if your friends come and visit you some times. Just... don't make it a habit, okay?”

“I won't”

He watched her walk away, visibly more happy than when she came to him, and thought that he definitely did something good. He turned then to Dean, who was wearing a broad smile.

“Dude...”

“What is it?”

“She just asked you out” having as an answer only the usual eye narrowing, he pursued. “You have a touch here, that's why you didn't want to go on a hunt.”

“A... date?”

Castiel thought about it. Dean must have been wrong. He didn't think he was feeling those kinds of feelings for her. Sure, he liked her, he owed her but... Having a romantic relationship... He didn't think this was for him. The last time Dean pushed him into something similar, they ended up being chased from a prostitute house.  Or he died. He didn't want to live this again. 

“Don't tell me you didn't understand.”

“If I have to be honest...”

“Well that's a shame because you just accepted. And you're going to rock it” the hunter added with a grin.” 

“Dean, in case you don't remember, I don't have a great record in relationships.”

“Man, come on, you have to try it. You're human now, you could at least enjoy the good things.”

“I don't understand” The blue eyed man tilted his head. “Why do you seem even more enthusiastic than I?”

“I-I don't know, I just... think it's great. You know, actually seeing the good parts of humanity, living something good, with someone else. But if you prefer to focus on the other things, you could still come on the hunt. I have a hunch there. And I think it's angel related. I really could use your help”

Castiel almost didn't noticed the sudden change of subject. He couldn't deny the fact that... Seeing Dean was refreshing, even if he wondered where was Sam. Surely getting some rest at the bunker.  But thinking that this could be the last time he saw his friend... he felt his heart clench. Moreover, he needed his help. He definitely couldn't let him down. He was just thankful that the hunter didn't ask about the “friends” Nora mentioned. As long as they didn't talk about his activities of the last week, it would be all right. He nodded:

“Of course, what do you need me for?”

 

R ight after Nephraim was killed, Castiel talked to Nora, or, it's more like Nora talked to him. Maybe he cared too much. But like she said, It may be what made him special. He thought hard about it. For about five minutes, the time to return to the impala. He huffed:

“Bullshit.”

“You okay there, pal?” He heard Dean call him from the driver seat.

“Yes... no... I'm... not sure.”

“Heh, I got you. So turns out you didn't get your super hot date with single mum, and the killer angel was after you because you didn't quite get used to the hardship of life. Hard times”

Castiel just climbed inside the impala and when he was seated, he met  t w o expecting green eyes .  But he just couldn't talk right now. He knew he would make a mistake. He definitely couldn't talk about the things that where on his mind. Things such as Lucifer being free, their deal and his absence. He tried to avoid the conversation:

“I... don't want to talk.”

“You feel like crap though.”

“Obviously.”

“And you know the best way to cope with life's bullshit?”

“Dean, I told you, I'm not interested in meeting with women.”

“That's one of the thing but not what I was going to propose”

There was a silence then, before the realization slowly came to him.

“You're referring to a liquor store.”

“Yeah, maybe not the whole liquor store” Dean snorted. “But that's the idea.

“I'd like that”

Castiel just hoped that drinking alcohol would keep him from thinking too much. At least, they took a human murderer down, that made one less in this World. Now he just had the Devil walking the Earth to worry about. No biggie. And no forgetting about the angels. And the demon's civil war. He definitely needed a drink.

They stopped by at the station, which was very convenient since he had the keys. They got in and Dean took a pack of beer and a bottle of whiskey, but the dark-haired man instead that he took two pack and three bottles. For future use. They left the money directly in the cash register and left. Castiel directed his friend to his apartment and when they got there, he just putted the goods on the table and opened himself a can of beer, not noticing the look his guest was giving at his living place.

“This is very... cozy, I guess. Man, if you needed money, we could have just taught you how to hack credit cards.”

“I don't have a credit card, Dean” he replied, handing him a beer.

“Yeah well... I could have given you one” the taller man argued, accepting the can and opening it.

“Dean, just... stop. Don't start please.”

“Start on what? On how I kicked you out when you were just helpless? Man, I-”

“I didn't drink enough for this”

On this, he just drank the whole content of the can of beer and opened another one. Dean breathed:

“Dude...”

“I just- I understand, okay? And... I managed. I got a job, a place, some food, some sort of purpose... I'm fine with my life so don't beat you up with this, all right? I'm... fine...”

He couldn't tell if Dean saw right through his lie, because his head was already a little fuzzy. Right. It was his first one shot of alcohol as a human. But in reply, the other man drank his beer. So he supposed he made his point. He just hopped being drunk would not make him all sentimental and talk about how much he missed the brothers. Because that would be awkward, But he most definitely didn't want to spent the night sober.

The rest of the evening stayed a little blurry. They drank in silence, they drank too much, for sure. But the silence was comfortable. They both made some comments, asked some questions, had some pity discussions, and laughed. A lot. So apparently he had the funny alcohol. That was good. And about the talks they had... As long as it was not on his current situation, it was fine.

At a moment, somewhere between eleven pm. and three am. they weren't in the best of shapes. The former angel was seating beside the only window of the room, legs folded, arms around his knees and chin resting on his arms. He was just observing through the glass the dark sky. Something came to his mind. He didn't have to turn his head to know how was the hunter, slumped on the chair, head rested on the table. He opened his mouth:

“Dean... Dean are you still awake?”

“Hhmmm...”

“I... I had a q-question I needed to ask... you.”

“Hmm?”

Castiel Could tell just by his tone that he was so close to drift off, maybe it was worthless to try and talk. Himself had difficulties to keep his brain functioning  just  to look outside the window. But he felt this need, to ask, to know. He didn't think of himself as a good judge of good and evil since a few years now. His drunk self needed opinions. He breathed, uncertain of how to pronounce his thoughts into coherent sentences. His voice was even lower than usual, and a bit groggy. 

“Imagine... if you had a... someone related to you... in a way. But you didn't want to... Kind of like a... brother.”

“I can picture that” Dean snorted.

“And he did... bad things. Like... things that would get him death sentence in every country of the World... And hatred... by anyone. Every one... You care about...”

He heard his drinking companion laugh again, but it was a half hearted laugh, as if it forced its way out. He decided he didn't want to picture that.

“Like starting the Apocalypse, you mean?”

“Exactly” he almost shouted, surprised by how correct the hunter was. “You would... hate him, right?”

“... I guess...”

“But what if he... Had his punishment already? What if he didn't do anything bad any-any more? He... he kinda suffered the consequences enough... Would you... Could you...”

“Forgive him?”

There was a silence then, but yes, it was the exact therm. He nodded on his knees, but then figured that Dean couldn't see him, half asleep on the table. So he forced the words out of his drifting mind.

“Yes.”

“... He suffered enough... He definitely needed some-... And he was my broth-... But seriously man” he groaned. “Too drunk to-...”

At this point, he wasn't sure who gave up first. Maybe the  oldest Winchester was to far gone to make proper sentences, or Castiel passed out for seconds,  b ut every thing became black and silent within minutes. 

Then he felt warmth and comfort and security all around him, and an energy so appealing. Calling to him. He wanted to reach out but his body felt numb  and he had nothing else to reach out with any more . And  then  he couldn't feel the cold floor under him. Just this warmth that wasn't really warm. Then something soft, and foreign, and the comfort started to retreat. He found himself to whimper:

“No... don't leave me... don't...”

The movement stopped a moment, and then the presence came back, just as present as before.

“Did I heard well... You want “me” not to leave?”

Just from the tone of the voice, he could tell the other one was bearing a big smile, this unreadable smile they wore all the time, but that seemed... kind of pleased. So that must meant something good. Slowly, he tried to open his eyes, and could finally make out the figure right above him. Some would have said way too close, but what was personal space to multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent? 

“Where were you?”

“Hm... So that's what it's about? You don't trust me? Wait, no, don't answer.”

“I had... absolutely no way to contact you.”

“Now, We agreed that I could have my freedom. And you know that is not true, little one. You do have a way to contact me. Why do you think I came back?”

“I... was...?”

“I'm not the one to jump to conclusions but... That seems a little trusty to me.”

“I don't hate you”

A heavy silence fell on both of them, which was pretty weird. Usually, the archangel would have already find something to reply. Something so very not helpful, but at least it would not be a weird silence.

“Wha-”

“You are not my enemy, Lucifer. We are... joining forces in a fight. We are partners in crime. I have to trust you if I want this to work.”

“I... Can sense some hint of forgiveness here”

And Castiel had to stop to think, as much as his little human brain would allow him to, because he could swear he heard this already. From someone, so sorry, and lost, and desperate to be forgiven and try to fix things. Ho, right... That was him.

“Maybe... because this is it.”

“I don't get it.”

“I mean that... you were right. You once were the brightest angel of Heaven, and the most beautiful, the most loved. And you were cast out. For what you believed in, for what you loved. And I don't say that I agree with your actions. I disagree oh, so much. But I think I can identify to what you lived. You never wanted to betray Heaven. You wanted it just as bright and glorious as every angel, and you desired Paradise on Earth. You just took the wrong way. I took the wrong way too.”

“...I do not...”

“And I'm human now. I'm powerless, and useless, and weak and fragile, I could die tomorrow from a stupid illness. So I made a deal with Satan. A human life is way to short, way to strange. There is no time for revenge. And, you already got your punishment. I think this is enough.”

“...You know you... you are completely-”

“I don't know what you are going to say but I know that I'm not conscious enough to listen. Good night now”

On these words, he quickly drifted away. And fell into a deep, profound sleep, thing he didn't have since he became human. He only knew light sleeps because he couldn't let his guard down, even when he slept. So he wasn't sure if this was because he was completely drunk or because there was this smoothing energy all around him, but it felt... good.

Right next to him, Lucifer didn't leave, as the fallen angel asked him. But if he had to stay here all night... Well, he might as well get comfortable. So he laid down and left his arms around the other body, even if he knew his grace did a much more important effect on him. He took another look at that face that was recently Castiel' only, thinking again about his words, and whispered:

“Really... How peculiar”


	4. You know that's the way

When Castiel slowly emerged from his sleep, he felt safe, protected. The most at peace he felt in so long.  But then he opened his eyes and saw the face of Lucifer right next to his. He felt a wave of panic running through him and he hurried to take his angel blade when his movement was stopped by a huge headache. He groaned and took his head in his hands.

“Lucifer what- what were you doing? Where were you?”

He heard no responses so he rose his head to see the archangel raising an eyebrow. Confused, he asked:

“What is it?”

“Ho don't play that card on me.”

“What card?”

Lucifer sighed and touched the human's forehead with  h is two fingers. And in a moment, all the memories of what happened the night before came back to his mind.

“I was...”

“Extremely drunk, yes. But don't count on me to forget everything you said and blame it on the alcohol.”

“No I wouldn't” He murmured “I maybe was drunk, but at least I was honest”

He still felt his cheeks getting warm though, because he realized it was pretty embarrassing to be seen in such a position of... sensibility. Suddenly, something else came to his mind, and he jumped of of the sheets to look warily in the one-room apartment:

“What about Dean?”

“Don't worry about your little friend. I made sure he was deeply asleep. I figured it would not be in my interest if he found I was back on Earth”

That's when his gaze fell on the figure of the hunter, in the same position he was in when he fe l l asleep.  He felt relief rush over him. It would have been very hard to explain if he saw him in the arms of the Devil.  But he preferred not to think about it.

“When will he wake up?”

“I don't know, when you decide to shake him a bit?”

“Good. That's... good”

There was a silence for a few minutes, when Castiel just observed the figure of the hunter, thinking about what was coming next. Lucifer then rose from his half seated position on the mattress and made some steps to him, hands clasped in his back.

“Sooo... Should I leave you two alone? Or you're going to beg me to stay again?”

“That was-” he groaned. “I have the feeling you are going to use this against me a lot.”

“Honestly I am offended you think so little about me, brother” Lucifer smirked. “But yes, I'm far from forgetting it.”

“Did you find anything when you were out?” The former angel tried to change the conversation.

“Well, as suggested I looked for Metatron but... I figured that was just useless. Though I have some of my men on it, so I can enjoy a little bit your presence. That, if you don't want to have some privacy with the Winchester.”

“You have some men on it?”

“Yes, some demons I crossed the path of during my researches. They're keeping an eye out for me.”

“So you can keep an eye on me” Castiel noticed.

“Ho come on... “ Lucifer rolled his whole head. “ I thought we were over those trust issues. That is why”  he added in pointing his hands in front of him “I'm going to tell you that it's true. I am. Because despite the fact that you told me you trusted me, you still didn't tell me the whole story.”

“ Maybe because my trust in you has its limits, just like yours.”

“Yes, because I can't fully trust you as long as you don't tell me the truth of what happened.”

“This is pointless” the former angel sighed. “As long as we don't make progress on the researches for Metatron, I don't see the interest in telling you what happened. So I'm going to wake up Dean, and you will be gone before that. And we will keep up thing just like before until your demons find anything”

On these words, he just turned to Dean and started to walk to him. Behind him, he heard Lucifer whisper “Geez... bossy” before the sound of wings and a whoosh of wind.

When Dean was awake, he proposed to depose Cas somewhere, and he couldn't refuse. He could use a lift, but seeing the impala getting away from him reminded him painfully of what happened when he was told he couldn't stay with the Winchesters. Because this is something he couldn't even get. The last trip in the impala.

Castiel arrived before Nora, as usual the days after his days off. So he started to work again, to try to clear his thoughts. When suddenly he felt another presence in the station. He flipped around just to find Lucifer sitting in his place behind the counter, feet on the surface and fingers intertwined on his belly. And he wore his eternal smug smile.

“How did it go, brother?”

“You must certainly know.”

“Ha yes, it's a shame that you couldn't stay longer with your human friends. To my benefit, I suppose. But hey” he snapped “at least you made contact again. Maybe they will swing by some times. Even if _that_ is not to my benefits. That's still good, I guess.”

“Are you...” Castiel hesitated. “Are you trying to bring me some... comforting thoughts?

“Well...” the Devil got his feet off the counter and straightened his position in his seat. “What if I was?” He asked with a questioning twitch of his eyebrow.

“That would be... unsettling”

Castiel faced Lucifer for a moment, blue eyes meeting ice, but once again seeing nothing behind it. And he found himself feeling upset about it. The fact that he just couldn't see the real Lucifer, only this meat suit, got under his skin. Even if, now that he was human, those meat suits got a whole new meaning. Now, he understood the concept of human' esthetics and beauty. The grin on Lucifer lips grew a little wider.

“Then it's a yes. I know how important those kind of things are to humans.”

“Why would you care?”

“Always with the questions, aren't you, Cas?”

The Devil said, getting up from his seat. Castiel tried not to flinch at the use of the nickname that was usually used only by his friends, and that he said with a tone that seemed more mocking. He was about to reply when the archangel continued:

“If I can't get your total trust, then I can at least get your recognition or, would I dare to hope, your affection?” He stared at him again. “No... It must be too soon for that...”

“You already have my recognition. You protected me and accepted my demands more swiftly than I thought you would. As for the later...”

“In regard of what happened this morning, I wouldn't rule it out” he smirked.

“Yes. Well I... I wasn't...”

For a reason he couldn't totally understand, the dark-haired man started to feel embarrassment once again, and he couldn't look Lucifer in the eyes. But he tried to tell himself that he had no need to, and tried to justify himself:

“You know that we were designed to need the closeness of our kind.”

“Of course I do...” The archangel almost whispered.

“Then you... you understand”

Castiel had a nod in response, and he was contented with it. No more questions then. Just silence, like some sort of silent understanding. That was good. That was... good, he decided. He knew he had to stay aware of Lucifer's movements and intentions, but it didn't mean they couldn't share some sort of companionship, did it? His thoughts were very not influenced by the fact that he appreciated their moment of closeness. It felt comforting to know that someone was there. He could almost forget that that person was the Devil, but didn't seem like his enemy.

About ten minutes later, Nora arrived, and then some customers came and went. It was once again a normal day at work, if the freshly human Castiel forgot about Lucifer observing him for a corner of the station, and the looks that Nora gave the archangel. But she said nothing, considering what she declared when Dean was here. And, well, he didn't disturb the business, but he did disturb Castiel.

Were there customers or no, he was constantly making snarly comments about what he was doing, or about things he was reading in the newspaper. Of course, only in the mind of Castiel. That, he thought, was more like Lucifer. Because he was bored, and needed to entertain himself. But by the end of the day he managed to ignore most of what he said. Or maybe it was because his focus was slowly reducing.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, shaking him off his thoughts:

“Hey, Castiel! You would not dare pass out in your work place.”

“I'm... I'm fine. I think I'm just experiencing...”

“Hangover”

The dark-haired man nodded, feeling suddenly exhausted. The kind of physical and mental tiredness he hadn't felt since he found a place to rest. He understood that he overestimated his capacity to resist the lack of sleep. A woman appeared in his vision, and he heard a concerned tone.

“Steve, are you all right?”

“Yes. Yes, I'm just... feeling a little dizzy, nothing important” he tried to reassure her.

“You've been working a lot... maybe you should spare yourself, you might get sick.”

“No, no, I'm all right, really. I just... didn't get a lot of sleep last night. It was a restless night. Well, for most part of it” he felt the need to justify and at those words, couldn't stop from looking at Lucifer. “But that's fine”

Castiel didn't felt like telling her he got drunk. It was something he didn't want her to know, so he just made a pity explanation, hopping this would be enough for her to stop worrying. Maybe the lack of precision was a mistake, because he saw confusion on her face, and her gaze flickered between he, Lucifer, and his hand still on his shoulder. And then realization slowly came on her:

“Ho. Hoooo... I-I see... “she said sheepishly. “Well... just- don't do anything that might get you sick. Or... hurt...”

He thought he saw some shade of red on her cheeks as she turned and got away, but he couldn't grasp the reason why. His confusion only grew when he heard Lucifer snicker beside him. And his hand lingered just a little bit on his shoulder blade as he got his face a little closer, to tell him something that definitely didn't clear his interrogations:

“Are you sure you want her to get those ideas?”

“I don't see why not. I feel uncomfortable letting her know the state I was in this night.”

“Castiel, clueless Castiel” he snorted. “All right, as you wish”

The archangel then withdrew and walked away, outside of the station. The fallen angel wondered what was that all about, but he tried to ignore this feeling that he was missing something. Sure, he felt a little bad for lying to the woman that gave him his chance, but Dean once told him that when humans wanted things, they lied. He wanted her to be oblivious about his situation, so he lied. He just hopped he didn't make any mistakes.

About an hour later, Castiel heard someone else come inside the station, but he felt something wrong about them. They were a little group of four, but he couldn't help but have a bad feeling. His suspicions became true when he heard them giggle and their eyes turned black. He breathed:

“Demons.”

“Hello, pretty boy”

A redhead woman replied before sending him flying across the room with a flick of her hand. He hit hard the wall behind him and fell to the floor, blaming his lack of reactivity on the buzzing of his head due to his hangover. He reached for his angel blade in the pocket of his jacket and stood quickly, facing his opponents. They were four against one, but he had means against those creatures. Sigils, holy water, weapons, exorcisms...

Castiel gathered all of his focus and launched himself at the closest enemy, slicing his arms and getting a cry of pain as an answer. Even if he was human, he used to be an angel, the most powerful race on Earth. He was a seraph, was at the head of a garrison, defeated an archangel and once ruled Heaven, even if it was for just few days. So no, he was not completely defenseless. He could surely handle four demons.

He turned on himself, facing a demon in a bold male vessel, and kicked him in the stomach, hard enough to send him stumbling backward and falling against an aisle, ruining his hard work of the morning. But he couldn't bring himself to care at the moment. The former angel then turned back to the redhead woman, flipped his blade in his hand and threw it in her direction. It finished it course in her throat, and in a show of red light and agonizing screams. He then reached in his pockets for a bottle of holy water but he was cut short by a demon inside a blond girl shouting:

“Stop it right here, angel! Or the woman dies”

When he faced her, he saw with horror that she was holding a blade under Nora's throat, who was completely lost and afraid. She had a desperate look on her face, that he decided he never wanted to see here. And suddenly he felt hopeless:

“Leave her be!”

“That all depends on you. Drop your weapons and maybe, I will grant her a painless death.”

“Please... just please, let me go” Nora pleaded. “I have nothing to do with this...”

“She's right. She knows nothing. Unhand her”

But deep inside, Castiel knew that this was just pointless. The demons didn't care, they were going to kill her. He suddenly felt a violent pain to the back of his knees, and he fell to the floor. He tried to reach for something, anything to defend himself, when he was struck again at the back of his head. He screamed in pain as his face came in contact with the floor. He heard Nora scream to, in fear, and felt something wet run down on his skin. Blood, he guessed. From a cracked lip.

A demon took hold of his hair and yanked back on it, forcing him on his knees. He then saw the demon in a bold vessel. Behind him the blond girl pressed the knife against Nora's skin, breaking it so a drop of blood ran down her neck, and she started to twitch under the pressure.

“Let her go” he managed to say between clenched teeth. “I don't know why you are here, but she is not the one you are after”

All he had in answer was another punch in the face, and he felt his nose break. He groaned at the pain, and had difficulties just to keep his eyes open. He became so fragile, he thought. Then another hit, and another. He couldn't even defend himself against some demons, how did he expect to protect Nora? He felt helpless, and just desired the pain to stop. As he felt more blood run down his face, he found himself to hope. He hoped for help, and right there, the blows stopped.

And then there was a blinding light and he was free from the grip on his hair. He fell forward, but was caught by an arm around his chest. When he was able to reopen his eyes, he met two icy ones. Wondering around him he also noticed the bodies of two vessels completely smote. Then he heard another shouting.

“Don't try anything, or she dies”

But this time, Castiel could tell the tone of the demon was far less assured than before. Lucifer just sighed, helped the beaten-up human back on his feet and with a snap of his fingers, the demons' vessel exploded, as his essence, not unlike something that the fallen angel once experienced. Twice, actually. He shivered a little bit, and despite being back on his feet, leaned on Lucifer for support. He still felt weak and all his body hurt. But at least, they were done.

“Really, I leave for five minutes...”

Castiel felt a hand caress his face, and all the pain was gone. He breathed in relief, and looked all around the bodies of the demon's vessels.

“They were demons... not angels...”

“I noticed that.”

“But why did they come here?” The former angel asked, confused.

“I have no ideas” the Devil mused. “I didn't do this.”

“I think I will plead guilty”

A voice with a strong British accent replied behind them. The two Fallen turned around to acknowledge the presence of Crowley and two of his demons henchmen. Castiel tensed, knowing too well why would the king of Hell be after him. He growled:

“Crowley...”

“The salesman... So I heard that was you who took control of downstairs after plotting against me” Lucifer declared, not impressed.

“I wasn't alone, but thanks” the demon replied with a bow of his head. “Now lets get down to business, shall we?”

“I wouldn't disagree” Answered the Devil, raising his hand to him and readying his grace to smite once again.

“Ha, ha, ha”

Crowley warned and, with a movement of his hand, Lucifer' arm broke with a loud noise, followed by a pained cry. Startled, he shouted:

“What the Hell?”

“In parts, yes” replied the king of Hell with a quirk of his lips. “Had fun with the body yet?”

“Of course... that was you. What kind of suicidal thought went through your mind?”

“What is happening?” Asked Castiel, clearly lost.

“My... almost forgot the presence of Feathers. Take care of him”

The former angel immediately reconsidered his choice of making his presence know. A demon launched at him and projected him across the station. His freshly healed bones broke again. He gritted his teeth to prevent any cry to escape his throat but quickly, the demon was on him again. Distantly, he heard Lucifer.

“You are so going to regret this.”

“Now... is this a way to talk to his king? Be obedient and kneel”

Castiel heard then the cracking sound of bones breaking, and members being torn apart. He had a lot of difficulties not to be overwhelmed by worry when himself was at hand with a demon so much stronger than him. He just had to focus his thoughts, thing really not easy when he could hear the restrained cry of pain of his brother. But he had to do it. A hand closed around his throat, and he had difficulties to breath. That's when it hit him. As a human, he needed to breath. Things were still so new to him...

With a shaking hand, he managed to reach for a flask of holy water in his pockets. He quickly opened it and emptied it at the face of the abomination shaking the life out of him before it succeeded and his vision clouded. He fell to the ground and quickly gathered his strength to stand up and run between two aisles, trying not to panic when he couldn't hear the demon scream and the sound of burning flesh any more.

He turned just in time to see the creature on the verge of hitting him with a blade, when it was suddenly stopped in its movement. Castiel couldn't stop a satisfied grin to spread on his lips. He did well in preparing this place for any kind of attack. The demon slowly started to panic when he noticed the devil's trap drawn on the ceiling, right over his head. But that was none of Castiel' matters any more. Not when he still could hear Lucifer groaning in pain. He hurried to the back of the station for his reserves.

When the former angel came back, he stopped by a demon's corpse for a second, the time to take back something that was his, and slashed across the chest of the creature imprisoned on his way.

“How lucky, having the Devil on a leash. Now we're going back to hell, and you're going to be obedient.”

“Crowley!” Castiel shouted.

He knew that, this way, he lost the element of surprise, but he figured that he ran out of time, and he was still too weak to be undetected. He preferred to get his attention, and stop him from running away so soon. His gaze quickly flickered to Lucifer, curled up on the floor, groaning in pain and blood that was definitely his under his borrowed body. Seeing him in such a poor state flowed him with yet new emotions, that he didn't quite took the time to analyze and name.

In less than a second, he ran to the demon, angel blade in hand. The man in a black suit managed to dodge the attack, letting his henchman took by surprise when the blow was suddenly directed to him. He nearly had the time to spare the blow, but Castiel shoved aside all of his pain to concentrate on what this body remembered of past fights. He turned around and buried his blade deep in the demon's core. His essence shone bright for a second before fading forever with a cry. The former warrior of Heaven turned to Crowley, getting out another bottle of holy water. Their gaze met and he heard him spat a “Bollocks”. The second after, he was facing emptiness. The king of Hell was gone.

A grunt redirected his attention back to his injured brother. He quickly ran to his sides and knelt next to him, despite his own pain.

“Lucifer! Brother are you hurt?”

“No, every thing is perfect” he groaned.

“Sarcasm isn't going to help you”

Castiel narrowed his eyes, but still helped him in leaning into a more comfortable position. He was now lying down on the floor of the station, and that is when he could see all the damages. The skin was blue and red where the bones were broken, and there was blood flowing out of his nose, mouth and several wound. Now he could completely see why he seemed in so much pain but for the rest, he was completely at lost. It hit him again when he realized:

“I... I can't heal you.”

“I know. Don't worry, that's just a bruise”

The dark-haired man was about to complain when he saw it. The grace of the archangel started to be accessible again, and get to work on the wounds. He sighed in relief.

“Were you worrying about me, little one?” Lucifer asked with a smirk.

“Obviously I was. I never saw you so weak.”

“Ouch” the archangel frowned. “But I guess you are right. Thank you for your help. That was... quite impressive for a human. Even former member of the heavenly host. Welp, I'm healed now”

Lucifer declared and in the blink of an eye, he was standing again, stretching his members. Castiel couldn't help but feel suspicious, so he questioned:

“Are you sure everything is all right, Lucifer?”

“Of course” He looked at him. “Aw... you do care a bit about me...”

“I-”

“Ho right, that's your main point, right?” He interrupted him and smirked again.

“You-” Castiel felt suddenly struck with realization. “You were here. You were...”

“Spying, yeah...” Lucifer sighed. “Even if it was more the surveillance of the Winchester. I wasn't convicted you would hold your part of the deal, but you did” he nodded, looking thoughtful. “There's no point in hiding it now, if we are going to trust and care about each other. And if you wonder how I hid, it actually is pretty easy. You just have to focus on the plane where your wings are when you possess a vessel and-”

“Yes, I know how” Castiel interrupted him.

“Hoo... Really?” The archangel asked, seeming genuinely surprised. “Little soldier Castiel used this spying trick? Are there things you are hiding from me?”

The former angel didn't take the pain to reply, because he understood it was just a tease. The archangel knew he never told him everything. He actually didn't tell him anything, and that is why he couldn't really believe this matter of “trusting and caring” but reading once again through him, Lucifer took a step closer, entering with ease his personal space. He delicately touched his cheek with the tip of his fingers, and Castiel felt a powerful grace run through him, healing broken bones, stitching skin back together and filling voids left ignored for too long. Lucifer then spoke to him, in a way so intimate he wasn't sure he really was talking or just transmitting thoughts in his mind:

“Well, if we can't blindly trust each other, you can still be sure that I care about you. I protected and saved you, and you just saved me there, despite your injuries and the danger it meant to your fragile life. We got each other' back.”

“... I suppose-”

Their discussion was cut short by a heavy breath in their back. Castiel felt extremely ashamed. How could he have forgotten about Nora? He felt so guilty he just didn't know what to say or what to do, only able to look at the floor. What in Heaven got him so distracted? He heard Lucifer huff in annoyance right next to him and when he looked at him again, he saw him snap his fingers. The next second the station was cleaned and tidied, there was no demon's blood or corpses, and Nora was just standing in front of the door, seeing slightly confused but not hurt or scared. Castiel had to be sure:

“Nora? Are you all right?”

“Heh? Ho, yeah... yes, just... Excuse-me, I must have dozed off for a second” she laughed, a little bit ashamed. “Sorry it's just... with Tanya's fevers and what happened last evening...”

“Yes, I understand”

He just nodded in agreement, and he met Lucifer's knowing eyes. He felt grateful that he didn't just cleaned the mess of the fight, but he also wiped Nora's memories of this traumatic experience. That was... definitely caring, he thought.


	5. Behind the Smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since this chapter is a little particular ans shorter than the others, I'm posting it right now.  
> Let's say it's a little bonus ;)

When he woke up, well... he woke up. That alone was new. He never did sleep, so why would he wake up?

Looking around him, he saw. A dark place, but so much less dark than what he was used to. He could see actual things, the old and dirty bricks off the wall, the broken tiles of the floor, some spider webs... Some rays of light piercing through old windows. Well, old... very young compared to him but anyway. Then he felt. Restrain, discomfort. He took conscious of what was happening. He was restrained on a chair, with iron handcuffs. He snorted and in focusing his grace, they broke easily. He stood up and took some steps, but had to quickly hold on to something. He felt dizzy. He felt... Okay, so that was what told him that he got out of the Cage. He had no ideas of who could have to very bad idea to pull him out, but he wasn't going to complain.

Though he was surprised to find himself in a body. Last time that happened, he had to find a substitution vessel. A quick glance in a shattered glass at his feet confirmed what he thought. So he was back in Nick's body. Just how did this happened? Last time he checked, this body was completely out of use. But again, whatever. He just hoped it would hold this time. He intended on enjoying the sweet taste of freedom.

That's when he remembered Michael. His brother in the Cage. Or was he still in the Cage? He tried to find him, concentrating on his grace, but didn't see anything. So the other archangel was maybe still in the Cage, and he could finally, definitely enjoy his freedom, without worrying about having to fight his family. With a flap of his wings, he was out of this place.

The first thing that surprised Lucifer was how many different graces were present on Earth. That was... uncommon. There wasn't that many angels on Earth even for the Apocalypse. With capital A. So what the Hell was going on?

He rather quickly met some demons, that seemed freaked out by his presence, but that soon bowed down before him and told him gladly everything they knew about the presence of the angels on Earth. A massive meteorite rain. So the angels fell from Heaven. He guessed that that must have been something to do with his freedom. He had to say that he was rather curious of what, or who, could have done that. And well... now, the place was vacant, right? It would be a shame to leave a throne empty. But Heaven was closed, even for him. He had to investigate.

Lucifer could never be tired of the face his brothers made when they saw him. If absolutely nobody knew he was free, that could only be good for him. The element of surprise was always a very good asset.

“What are you doing out of your Cage” spat a woman with dark skin.

“If you are free...” started a young blond boy. “Could that mean that-”

“Michael is nowhere for you to find I fear” the archangel replied. “So it mean that I'm the next in line to rule. Hope you're not against some Earth cleaning.”

“We will not follow the orders of a Fallen”

There was the sound of the snap of fingers, and in a second, the vessel of the impetuous angel was scattered across the planes of existence, and his grace burned into nothingness. Lucifer looked at the blood splashed on the formerly green grass with an innocent look on his face:

“What was that? I-I think I didn't heard well.”

“We... we won't follow you” tried again the angel in the woman's body. “There is no Heaven anymore.”

“Well I can always bring you back home. I will figure something as soon as I know what happened”

The two angels shared a look, then turned again to him.”

“No one know what happened exactly” started the boy. “That is why we are all so... lost and confused.”

“But we know whose fault it is”

Finally, some progress was made. So the archangel got the assistance of two angels. That wasn't a lot but that was enough. The less people knew he was back, the better. Turned out the culprit was Castiel, the only angel that once had the guts to stand against his and Michael' Apocalypse. Their first encounter came back to him. Little angel trapped inside a circle of holy fire, facing the Devil, and yet, he showed no fear, no incertitude. He rebelled against Heaven's orders, like once Lucifer did. But he refused his offer to join him. He yet had his own little team, tried to protect his true vessel from him. At the time, he already did pick his curiosity. But who could have thought this team of incapable beings could win against the two most powerful archangels in all creation and Heaven's oldest plan, the so-called words of God?

But more than that, he was sure he killed Castiel. He destroyed his body and grace, so how in Hell could he be still alive and cause the Fall of his brethren? Now not only he had his curiosity, but also his interest.

“Are you sure he is still alive?” Lucifer asked. “I should be able to find him, that's weird.”

“We saw him after the Apocalypse, and we know he is the cause of the Fall. But he is hiding, like the coward he is. No one can find him with the ways of the angels. We will have to use the ways of the humans”

Lucifer could only agree with that, even if he did not really used the ways of the humans. He just used his servants. After few weeks, a demon came back to him, to tell him some fallen angels in a human state he didn't take the pain to remember the name were on the tracks of Castiel. He then just took his brother and his sister to these three angels and they told them where they thought he was hiding, after, of course, stating their disagreement with the fact that Lucifer should be their leader and that he should got back to rot into the pit. The archangel just ignored them and tried to look for his target. And he decided that he was hiding pretty well, because Lucifer could definitely not tell the angel was near here.

“We found him” announced an angel in a man in his forties. “In a Gas'n'Sip station of this city.”

“Good, finally. How did you do?”

“It was just luck. I couldn't see his grace but it was him. This vessel is supposed to be dead for years. I think he is far more fallen than any of us.”

“That means something” commented Lucifer. “How could he be more fallen than I?”

“Because of what he's done.”

“I don't care about finding out. I say we go and kill him. Now” Insisted the angel in the dark-skinned woman.

“And what, stay stupid and locked on Earth for the rest of your very long and boring lives?” Replied the archangel.

“He cannot live any longer!” Snapped the blond boy. “He has to pay for what he has done.”

“Okay, right” started Lucifer. “He kicked you out, but he is currently paying the price. And you still have your grace, that mean Heaven is still accessible, in a way.”

“Why should we listen to you?”

“You are the first Fallen, of course you don't care about the situation.”

“You are not out leader, and you were locked in the cage the past years. You have no ideas of what he's done to Heaven, to his own people. He has to perish”

If Lucifer thought he was interested before, now he was fascinated. He wondered what could the little Castiel have done to be hated that much by his kind. They all seemed so ready to kill him, without another thought, when they just left him, the Devil, freaking _Satan_ join them in their hunt. Sure, him too had all the reasons to kill him too, but he already did it, didn't he?

“Yeah... I can't let you do that, sorry”

He didn't take the time to read the betrayal and fear in their eyes when he smote them. They had to know that would happen eventually. But angels were so desperate to follow an archangel leader, sometimes it was just sad. They were just a mean to find Castiel, he wasn't going to feel sorry for them.

But he had to say, what he saw was disappointing. The things in front of him was nothing but human. There was absolutely no trace of grace inside of him. That solved a mystery. He tried to find something that didn't exist. Lucifer could even see... a soul, glowing with emotions. Surprise, confusion, fear. It was easy for him to tell what the new human was thinking. But not what he did. Though he could still feel that subordination in his eyes. Castiel, always the rebel one, despite oh, so much self-loathing. He had to get that from the Winchester. But the archangel couldn't help but wonder what could this former follower of Michael could have done. Maybe he had more potential than what he thought, before becoming human. He wondered for a moment what could have happen if Castiel accepted his proposition to join him during the Apocalypse. But the man hated him, and he had his reasons.

That is why he wasn't really surprised when he found himself banished, thrown across the different planes of existence. But he found this time was more painful than it should have. He hurt himself against the closed door of Heaven and fell back to Earth, landing hard in the middle of nowhere. That was definitely going to leave some traces. Not on him. He was Lucifer, his grace had already healed him thank you very much. But on the land. The people would some day wonder what happened to destroy this part of the forest, but he really didn't care at the moment.

He was human, but Castiel fought back. How very fascinating. The man was merely the empty shell of himself. Without grace, without power, without backup... But once again he stood, he faced the Devil. Castiel, still the rebel one, going against all expectations. Never giving up on anything, but himself. Always believing in these repulsive hairless apes. Lucifer always wondered what he could find in them, why he was so fond of them. But there must have been something else, right? This fallen angel was dead, and whatever the Winchesters could try, they just couldn't bring back an angel. So how was he alive?

Lucifer decided to watch and learn then. But the new life of the fallen angel was just boring. Really, how could he be so... simple? He used to be so much more. And the facts that humans looked at him like he was just like them, sometimes even like if he was beneath them. He kind of admired the temper of the little one. His moments of struggling to find some place to stay with so little money were entertaining, as those when he experienced doubt, hope, regret and sometimes very dark thoughts. So the archangel decided to cut short his phase of observing. He had seen enough to know how to be accepted.

He flew to the nearest group of angels, killed them and got back their weapons. The fallen angel' reflexes were cute, he thought. He still tried, even if he didn't see the point. And that was kind of fun. It took a little more to convince him to be accepted by his sides and get him to make a deal with the Devil, but he knew he got it with only the truth. Sure, these angels didn't find him, but they were in town and eventually, they would have.

It hit him then, just when the words came out of his mouth. That was then the reason why he was so interested in this little one. Yes, maybe they were similar. Maybe he was the only brother worthy of his attention because he had a mind on his own. But that only wasn't a reason to be soft with him.

Then came the truth. Well, a part of it. Castiel finally started to open to him. That was... pleasing. So he was trusting him a little more as time passed. That could only be good.

He looked for Metatron, and found him without difficulties. He was hiding well from other angels, but that was not enough to misguide an archangel, and Lucifer had his own web of information. What he found was... interesting. So the old scribe was indeed still alive, and seemed to be the only one still powered by Heaven. Right. He could use this for future use. There was no rush. Even if that made him the most powered of the angels, there was no match for the Devil, with Michael nowhere to be found. He placed some demons on the watch of the scribe' movements and got back to Castiel. He didn't see the point in ending the fun so soon, his brethren could discover more of Earth, and develop their hatred for humanity. It would make it easier when he would rule Heaven and order the destruction of this filthy race.

The Winchester was here. Of course he was. Lucifer should have known that Castiel would break soon. He just hoped he could be here to stop him at the moment, but it had to happen when he was away. The fallen angel was a mess, torn between so many emotions he knew nothing about. Humanity wasn't a very good look on him, and the archangel surprised himself to hope to be able to fix this. What benefits could he take from that?

He watched the two friends get drunk, and be dumb for hours, when he felt something, to the deepest of his grace, something pulling. He looked over Castiel and understood what it was. It was... troubling, to say the least. It has been so long since anyone prayed to him. And he wondered why in Hell the little human would pray to him. What was happening to him, if not some sort of trust? He started to trust the Devil, poor little thing.

When both men were unconscious, he decided to bring him to bed. And well... he asked for him, right? He didn't want him to look even more pathetic. But he wasn't gonna use his grace for that either. He lifted him in his arms, in a gesture very... human, to his surprise. He could have just zapped him under the sheets, but... He felt his grace reaching to the fallen angel. That couldn't mean... Bur realization came to him. And hit him when Castiel asked him to stay.

So that was it. How far had he fallen? Desiring the companionship of someone... He never thought that could happen to him again, after his Father turned his back on him. But there he was, Castiel believed in him, even if he didn't know it yet. Or else, how could he have prayed for him? And he was trusting him. He left the hatred he had and more importantly, he decided to forgive him. How dared he? No one could forgive the Devil. No one would. For the first time in forever, Lucifer was at loss for words. What the little one was offering him... he...

The Devil was cruel. Senseless. He could feel nothing. No hope. No trust. No care. No affection. No attachment. He could not desire anything nor anyone.

But, well... Lucifer was always the rebellious one.


	6. I've Got to Hide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!  
> So, just as a warning, there is a little bit of smut at the end of the chapter. It's the first time I write something like this so I'm sorry if it's awkward :X

“Lucifer, what is this all about?”

At the mention of his name, he turned around to face a still sleepy Castiel, with a very nice bed hair.

“What is about what?

“About all of this”

With a gesture of his hand, the fallen angel designated the new furniture that appeared in the night. To say he was surprised not to find the ground under his feet when he tried to rise from his bed, and almost fell from a distance there was not supposed to be between his mattress and the floor would be an understatement. Then he found out he had thick curtains that dove the room into a deep darkness. The surprises never stopped when he opened them and discovered a couch, an armchair with wide cushions, more chairs than before and clean sheets on the king sized bed he just slept in, under a fluffy bed comforter. So that explained why he felt so much more rested than usual... But that didn't explain where this all came from.

“Ho 'that'... It's best for humans to be comfortable in the places they live in, so I took some liberties to upgrade this apartment.”

“Where did you get these?” Castiel asked, narrowing his eyes. “You can't just steal anything you want.”

“Watch me.”

“Lucifer you-”

“Come on, Castiel! We agreed that I would be free to do what I want. And no one is dead for this, so that is a plus. Those people had tone of things for them, I'm sure they won't miss it”

The dark-haired man didn't reply. He just kept on staring at the super powerful creature that was standing in front of him, trying to figure him out. But staring at Lucifer was just like staring at a... starry night sky. Dark, mysterious, so hard to figure out, but yet so intriguing, and appealing, and infuriatingly frustrating. No wonder why he was called the Morning Star. Castiel really hated to feel so small before him, and so affected by his power. All that because he became human.

“All right" Lucifer sighed "... I will leave some money for them, if this is really necessary...”

“Thank you. I... appreciate your efforts”

He thought this. He knew that Lucifer did some efforts to... fit in this life. He did nothing, but he knew that was an effort not to make any human suffer from any ways. Because he knew Lucifer hated humanity as much as himself loved it. And in answer of his acknowledgment, he received a mocking smile:

“I'm sure you do”

With a wing flapping sound, Lucifer was gone. The fallen angel then left himself plop on the couch to take notice on how it felt good around his limbs. Maybe then it wasn't such a bad thing that his brother brought back these furniture. Maybe he was still too suspicious. Surely the Devil could mean nothing bad.

It had been almost two weeks since they made a deal, and he did nothing to double cross him. Castiel had looked and looked but there was absolutely no activities of the Devil in the World. He kept low profile, he kept his part of the deal. And through time... they got in a comfortable companionship. He really didn't mind his presence anymore, if he did his absences...

Though he had no time to think about that, he still had to work. He rapidly got ready and went to work. He was still worried about Nora, but she seemed just like usual. It was just like this demon attack never happened. It was for the better, but the images of a suffering Lucifer curled up on the floor were engraved on his mind. How could this happen? He was supposed to be the most powerful being on Earth. Nothing could hurt him. That really bothered him.

To the point that he called the Winchesters. Of course, he still hid the fact that Lucifer was free. He just asked about news concerning the King of Hell. That's how he learned that, somehow, he escaped their dungeon and got free. But that didn't explain the fact that he beat up an archangel with that much facility. In the end, the call wasn't very helpful, but it seemed that at least, the bridge with the brothers wasn't broken anymore.

They had a few phone calls during the week, and he found out that he really appreciated it. It was nothing like actually being with them, but at least he heard from them. And he perfectly knew that he never could go back to them and in the same time stay with Lucifer. For a reason, he found out that he couldn't think of what he would do if he had the possibility to go back to the bunker. Could he really tell them the truth?

Suddenly, there was a voice behind him, waking him from his thoughts:

“Are you that interested in her?”

“What do you mean?”

“The way you're staring at your boss... it's kind of creepy.”

“I was not-” he tried to argue, turning to face Lucifer.

“Yes, I know. You were still thinking about your precious Winchesters. Just like a teenager in love. How cute. But I can understand, it must be hard to be far. You must have had so much fun during all these years together. And you have to celebrate the end of the Apocalypse with a big one, right?”

“You-! How can you-”

Castiel tried to find the right words to shut the archangel's mouth, but he came short in words. He didn't understand how he could think of them in such ways. It was not like them. They were... his family. But he still felt his face becoming warm.

“I would never...”

“Ho... ho no” Lucifer smirked. “Little one, don't tell me you are still a virgin.”

“I am not-!”

He finally decided that this discussion was highly inappropriate in a work place, and with the Devil. So he decided to take care of the stocks of the station. He got to the back to get more supplies to tidy up the aisles.

“Let me guess. It was Dean, wasn't it? I always thought the looks you exchanged were pretty charged in sexual tension”

And this is when he crossed the line. Castiel put the box of goods down, maybe with too much strength, because the noise echoed in the whole station. But he didn't take the time to care and turned to Lucifer. His head was tilted, his eyes narrowed and his brows knitted together. At least, it had the effect of shutting the other' mouth.

“If you really care to know, she was a reaper. And she's also the one who stabbed me to death right after”

Then a silence fell, during which they were just staring in each other' eyes. This time, the fallen angel had the feeling he could see the actual feelings of the archangel on his face. Satisfaction, for finally having an answer, then surprise, and rage.

“She... actually killed you?” He asked with restrained anger, that soon turned into interest. “My, how many times did you die, Castiel?”

“I guess...” he breathed deeply, then sighed. “You would stop saying things that doesn't make any sense if I told you the truth.”

“Ho no, could this mean...” Lucifer had a playful but expecting grin.

“I will tell you my story. But not here, not now.”

“Works for me.”

“Why were you talking about dying? On multiple times?”

Castiel didn't have the time to jump at the sudden intrusion of Nora. Lucifer snapped his finger and she was blinking once, twice, then looked at them with a look of confusion. Finally she excused herself, saying she couldn't remember what she wanted to talk about and went away. The archangel observed her and snapped his tongue against his palate.

“This woman must have some sort of “wrong place wrong time” superpower”

The rest of the day passed rather quickly. Lucifer was unusually silent, but that was probably to make up for the excessive things he said in the morning. Castiel too was quiet. He felt nervous. He said he would tell every thing in the evening, but he still was wary of what new perspective that could give the Morning Star on him. He couldn't expect the half of the truth. What could he think next?

But he said he would tell the truth, because he couldn't take any more of his irrelevant commentaries about things he knew nothing about. His relation with the Winchesters was ways much more complicated than that, because they had a heavy history, and he didn't accept that his brother had a wrong opinion of them or what they lived.

That is why he was very uncomfortable the same evening, sitting on the couch, fidgeting under the impatient gaze of the archangel. He wondered once again if this was a good idea. Lucifer made it pretty clear that all he was was curious. So the moment Castiel told him the truth... he couldn't be sure of what was going to happen. Nothing would keep him from leaving, breaking their deal, killing him and... doing anything, really. That very well could be the last time he spoke to him.

“Come on now, Castiel. We've had enough of the foreplay, don't you think?”

He sighed, and took a deep breath.

“After Michael fell into the Cage with you and Sam Winchester...”

So he started to tell everything. He confided in the Devil, who observed him with an attentive look. Sometimes he would react to what he heard, with a frown, or in raising one of his eyebrows. Castiel could tell each times he restrained a snort, and he appreciated the effort because they weren't very appropriate. Other times, Lucifer would have a concerned look on his face, and his gaze would flicker on the fallen angel's face rather than his eyes, but it would quickly go back to them and be as focused as before.

“I was convicted that the spell would fix Heaven's problems but I... Metatron took my grace from me and” he had to take a deep breath “... in completing the spell the angels... I watched them fall. I was- I was powerless I couldn't”

Castiel found out that he had some difficulties to continue his sentence. His throat was tight, just like his chest, and he had to force the words out. And when he could, his voice was low, and trembling. He didn't know what time it was but his eyes were stinging, and his face felt moist.

“Then, I... I...”

He felt something else on his cheek. Something soft and cold, moving as if it was swiping something else. That is when he noticed he had his eyes closed tight. He opened them and found, behind wet blurriness, eyes of ice looking directly into his. Eyes full of care and kindness. His chest felt even tighter, as if his ribs wanted to squeeze his heart. He surprised a sob escaping his lips.

“Shh... It's all right little one... It's all right...”

“But I... I didn't get to finish...”

“I'm sure I can guess the rest”

The hand stayed on the side of his face, caressing the skin with extreme tenderness. The fallen angel found that the smooth motion calmed him, and was very comforting. He leaned a bit into it, when he felt something else fall from his eye and roll down the other cheek, wetting the skin. A tear, he understood. He was crying. It was... relieving, in a way. His throat didn't feel so tight anymore.

“Come here” Lucifer offered.

Castiel left himself be moved on the other side of the couch, and leaned down on the archangel, his back against the other' chest. He felt immediately better. Because he could feel the warmth of someone else, he could feel that someone was here, by his sides. That felt so good. He understood then why humans were constantly after company. What he felt before, that pit in his stomach, it was loneliness.

An arm was around his waist, and the hand that was caressing his face traveled to his hair, in a way that reminded him of petting. But it didn't bother him, at all. He needed that... comfort. Then he felt something else, entirely different. His grace. Lucifer's grace was reaching for him. As a human, he couldn't feel it as he should, as he wished... but he still felt something. That energy, warm without heat, comforting, inviting. This is what got him back to his senses. He was cuddling with the archangel Lucifer. But not finding the strength to push away, he just asked:

“Why are you like this?”

“You will have to be more precise” he whispered in his ear.

“Why do you act so gentle with me? What do you expect?”

“I don't know. I just want to. And it seemed like you needed some... support. After all the shits you've been through, you deserve it.”

“I- I don't...”

The hand that wondered in his hair went back to his face, and grasped his chin to lift his head in a way that made him look the Devil in the eyes.

“You are ready to grant me your forgiveness, but you won't even think about giving it to yourself. What a peculiar thing you are”

They stared in each other' eyes for few seconds, in silence. Castiel was becoming nervous. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what he had to do or what he wanted to do. He felt trapped by the Devil, and he just couldn't tell what were his true intentions. Things made less and less sense to him.

“...You told me this once. The circumstances were not so different.”

“Hm...” Lucifer hummed, bringing his face a little closer. “I suppose they weren't that different. I already wanted you to join me at the time, but I'm not sure I wanted you the way I do now”

The fallen angel felt his heart jump in his chest. So that was what it was all about. He began to understand then. The archangel was looking for company. He wanted something to distract himself, that he had understood a long time ago, but not in that way... He finally got why he was so onerous the same morning, about his relationships.

“Don't act so shocked. You can't tell me you never thought about this”

Lucifer moved the arm that was around his waist to put his hand on Castiel' chest, right above his heart, and continued to whisper:

“Your heart is beating at a very high pace and your face is all red. Plus, you can't keep your eyes on mine. They are constantly flickering a little down to my mouth and oh, talking about that...” He put his thumb on Castiel' lower lip “There are those sinful lips of yours that are just begging to be kissed.

-I... I don't-”

“Now, now. Lying is a sin, Castiel”

The dark-haired man then learned what was human' imagination. For a moment, he wanted him to lean in and kiss him, just to feel closer, or to feel how he would feel. And just the thought of it made him feel warm. The places where Lucifer touched him where like burning his skin and thinking about other places where they could be rushed his blood to his crotch.

This is the moment his members decided to finally react. The dark-haired man swiftly stood up, getting out of his brother' embrace. To say he was flustered would be an understatement. He made some steps to get away from the couch from where Lucifer was observing him, with intent but also disappointment that he didn't hide. He breathed deeply and sighed to calm the beating of his heart, then started to talk, still refusing to face the other:

“If... if I feel some sort of... attraction, it's only due to your powers. I don't want- I don't desire that... you...”

“That's a shame... But I don't want to force you”

He thought about it, and decided that this could only be the truth. He only offered that... moment of closeness. He was the one who accepted and when he wanted to get away, the archangel didn't stop him. When he was about to turn around, he realized that Lucifer was standing right behind him and well... now, he was very wary of his personal space. He felt himself blush harder.

“Go.”

“Excuse-me?” Lucifer rose an eyebrow.

“Just... go away... please.”

“Wouldn't you be-”

“I know all about our deal, and I am not asking of you to leave me. Just... I'm asking for a moment of privacy, please”

Their eyes met, and it was Lucifer' turn to look aside. He sighed. “Very well”

The second after, Castiel was all alone.

That was good. That was... what he asked for after all. But suddenly, the room felt impossibly empty without Lucifer. That shouldn't have surprised him though. It was about an archangel, his grace had an effect on about anything. Even his own... body.

But now, he just didn't know what to do. He felt helpless. Lucifer' intentions were now... clearer but still very unknown. Carnal desire, wanting the company of someone. That couldn't be his only motivation. There had to be something else. Was he wrong in the end? He really couldn't trust him? But the Devil... he never lies. So it was him that was wrong?

Anyway, after the day charged in emotions he just had, for someone that only recently became human, he didn't feel like just going to sleep. Then what? He remembered what he did back then. When he just... waited for the next day to come. He went to the armchair and just sat down, waiting, hoping to clear his thoughts. It came clear to him that it was his mind that was clouded. Not Lucifer'.

“Now you're just making me sad”

He was abruptly brought back to consciousness by the voice of his brother.  He had lost track of time and couldn't tell how many had passed while he dream ed of... What was he dreaming about?  But it soon became the least of his problems, because Lucifer was just standing before him, with a look that he never saw on this face.  He tried to wake from this semi-conscious state but his body still felt... a lot. He just could feel each inch of it and it was sensitive... troubling. He heard another sigh.

“Passing out on the couch where you have a bed just right next to you... this is saddening, considering the fact that you are sober.”

“Where were you?”

There was a silence, as if Lucifer was looking for the right words to use. Or if he was contemplating his last activities, Castiel couldn't tell. He really didn't want to focus at the moment. Or he simply couldn't.

“Alcohol and sex" To the flustered look Castiel gave him, he felt the need to continue "Oh, you have such a bad influence on me, little one.”

“Don't you-... Don't you blame me for any of your actions.”

“But I can't help it if you're the one who left me so curious and... frustrated. And I've never been so frustrated before”

Castiel shifted uncomfortably in his seat, just hoping the heat would eventually pass. Even if it got worst with the return of the Morning Star. But every time he talked about sexual linked activities, it sent waves of heat right to his crotch and his skin was tingling. Part of him was expecting he could help him on that matter, but he tried to bury it deep in his mind. Where did those thoughts came from?

“But anyway. Lets get you in a place more appropriate for sleeping.”

“Wait. No... Don't touch m-”

He had to bite his lip not to make any noise when Lucifer just put his hands around him to carry him. The contact was burning. Burning cold through all his body. But he couldn't let it show. Though he supposed it was written all over his face because the archangel just stopped for a moment. He couldn't meet his eyes or see his expression. He'd rather not. This was just so embarrassing. Right after turning him down...

“Don't tell me you were like this since I left” He must have taken the lack of words for an answer, because he continued. “Damn it why didn't you ask me? I could have taken care of it for you.”

“... I don't... I don't know...”

Now Castiel' heart was beating so loud, he was sure that Lucifer could hear it. But he was fully aware of his arousal too so that didn't really matter anymore. The archangel seated him on the edge of the bed and cupped his face in his hands. He knelt in front of him, forcing him to look into his eyes.

“You will know for next time”

The younger was about to reply when the hands on the side of his face shifted. They went down and down, caressing his chest, his abdomen and stopping their course right on his hips. Now Lucifer was fully concentrated on his task. He didn't seem satisfied, as the fallen angel was expecting, but focused, as if he didn't want to make any mistakes. He quickly worked on his belt and threw it aside, then opened his trouser and pulled it down with his boxer. He felt relief when his erection was finally free, even if it meant fully exposure. He didn't really care. He just needed...

“Expecting” he heard Lucifer comment, but it was all soon swallowed by the sensation of his fingers on him. Castiel couldn't hold back a moan. The archangel closed his fist around his member and stated to go up and down, rubbing his thumb on his head by times and it felt too good for him to be freaked out by the fact he was being jerked off by the Devil. He felt himself tremble with the need of... something. The other hand was back on his hips, preventing him from moving forward. The need to move became bigger and bigger as he felt the pleasure build in his belly. He found that the pace was agonizingly slow.

Then, Lucifer' eyes met his, and he saw the flash of a mischievous smile before he leaned in and closed his lips around his cock. The heat, the sensation was overwhelming. He threw his head backward, fighting to keep his eyes opened. His brother was sucking him expertly and he found himself unable to hold back his moans. It felt good, too good and some part of him was ashamed but it was covered by all the want and the need he felt. He tried to say something but all that came between his short breaths were broken pleas.

“Lucifer pl... please A-ah!”. The pleasure kept on rising. The archangel mouth felt absolutely perfect. So hot and wet and good. Castiel fist his hands in Lucifer' hair when he felt he was reaching his climax. As he stumbled over the edge, he pulled at Lucifer' hair a little harder and tried to warn him “Luc... Lucifer-I'm”

It was useless as he came in his mouth. When he was done releasing all he had, Lucifer pulled out and he still had his wide grin. He then made sure to lick all that was left of Castiel' come. And in the meantime, he just looked him in the eyes. In his post-orgasmic state, the dark-haired man thought it was just outrageous. Because he wasn't allowed to look so hot.

The archangel stood up and caressed his cheek with the tip of his finger. He cooed. “You see, it wasn't that bad”

Castiel had to catch his breath before replying. “Q-Quite the contrary, actually...”

And for his honesty, he was rewarded by a tender smile he wasn't expecting for the archangel. “Now... I think you more than deserve a little rest”

The totally flushed man was pushed under the sheets and before he had time to protest, he felt the mattress creak under added weight. He then decided that he had nothing to complain about if Lucifer just stayed close to him.


	7. The Raining in my Eyes

It was pain. All around him.

Wherever he looked, there was only hurt in the eyes of the ones all around him. He tried to speak, to force words out of his mouth to beg for forgiveness, to redeem himself, to tell how much he regretted. But as he turned around more and more faces appeared.

There is no use to try. They're dead. They're all dead because of you. He couldn't identify the voice, but slowly, names came to him. Uriel. Anna. Rachel. Balthazar. Rafael. Hester. Inias. The loved ones dead because of him. The brothers and sisters he killed. The humans he slaughtered as a “god”, a better one. He did try to escape, stretch his wings and take off, fly as far as he could from the pain and sorrow and guilt. But his wings were ripped off his back, torn apart with bare hands, of people that deserved to do this to him. And then he was falling, falling endlessly.

Until it all stopped, and he could see nothing. Every thing was empty. Then fire, screams, the sound of broken bones and ripping flesh. The smell of burning beings. He began to understand he was in Hell,  but it didn't feel right.  Where Hell was something he knew, he was unfamiliar with t he torture that was destined to him.  Every thing seemed foreign, new. A new kind of pain, a new kind of regret, a new kind of ache in his chest. 

We are trapped here forever. I'm here because of you. I will suffer worst than death forever because of you. It was something dark, growing within him, corrupting his grace and mind. Leviathans... No, it was far more powerful and far more ancient. It was as old as God himself. Pure Darkness.

Castiel woke up in a gasp, trying to catch his breath. He gained back his consciousness slowly, until he took notice on a hand on his shoulder, moving in circles to try to calm him and brim him comfort.

“ Sorry. I tried to stop your nightmares but... my grace isn't usually used to ease other' pain.”

“...I-I was... dreaming”

The fallen angel recoiled, but it felt strange to him. He never did dream, or had nightmares. It was troubling. Nothing felt real for a moment, except the contact he felt on his skin, and the calming energy that was coming from it. After he finally found a correct pace of respiration, he slowly spoke again:

“I saw the cage...”

“Guilty again. I think I putted to much juice. Sorry for what you saw... or felt.”

“No, I... I am the one sorry” he tried, looking at Lucifer. “I once had a glimpse but... I never could imagine...”

“I know. Best prison in the Creation. I'm a lucky and unique guest... well... I was”

The dark-haired man guessed, by the way his mind seemed elsewhere, that it was not a discussion the archangel desired to continue.  He understood, because he had his own sensitive topics. Such as the fact that he was naked in a bed next to Lucifer. Pictures of the night before came back to him and he felt his face becoming hotter.  And as his mind drifted away, he felt the hand on his shoulder traveling down, to his side then to his hips. Lucifer drawn closer. 

“So you want to change subject?” He purred.

“Don't-”

Castiel didn't have the time to finish that another hand was on him. He practically jumped out of the bed, freaking out. That is why he fought so hard these urges he was feeling the night before. He didn't want this to happen because... He couldn't feel that close to Lucifer. Not in that way. This would have to be used against him one way or another. Lucifer sat cross legged in the bed with a bored expression:

“Come on Castiel! You weren't so against it last night.”

“No you're right... I even actually... enjoyed it” he confessed, feeling his cheeks growing warm. “But don't you think this meant anything”

He noticed the eyes of the archangel weren't focused on his eyes, and that was probably because he was still naked. This fixed nothing to his embarrassment, so he decided to get his clothes while he kept talking:

“This body... being entirely human, it has needs now. And reactions I can't completely control. And you are... an admirable being. One that charmed men since the beginning of times so it's not surprising that you triggered something... that this body reacted to your flirtations. But this was not me. This was none of my volunteer.”

“It was what you wanted though” Lucifer shrugged.

“Yes, but... That doesn't mean that now, you can... I would not... this...”

As he stumbled over his words and dressed himself in the same  time , he saw how the archangel rose an eyebrow, seeming not convinced at all, or just thinking about something. Castiel couldn't tell any more. But even with clothing, he still felt naked under this blue-ice gaze. He cleared his throat:

“Anyway, I have work to do so... don't over think this”

He went for the door when he heard the smug tone of Lucifer. “Is it me you are telling this? Or you, little one?”

He just slammed the door behind him and took the road to the station. Maybe he had still some time before his shift started, but he didn't feel comfortable being in the same place as Lucifer. In the same room they did what they did the night before. Once again pictures came back to him but he tried all he could to forget them. He couldn't let this distract him. It was Lucifer this was about. It must have been just another mean to his end, but he would not let himself be manipulated this way. He would not let his humans feelings cloud his judgment.

Or maybe it wasn't... Thinking deep about this during times when there were no customers, Castiel told himself that maybe, Lucifer could be true about this. The first time he found him, he wasn't threatening him, he just talked. That was something the Devil did but that was all. Their first meeting after the Apocalypse was really just an exchange, with no other purpose. He did not try to harm him in any way. And then, all he did is help him, protect him from the angels after him. What did he ask in return? To stay... Only to stay, and he would help him. There could be nothing behind it. And then... there was the dream he had. This nightmare that wasn't really his when the archangel used his grace on him. That could mean only one thing.

“Hey! You listen when I talk to you!”

Castiel was suddenly pulled out of his thoughts by an angry voice directed at him. He felt confusion, then guilt when he he understood that he was a little bit to caught in his thoughts.

“Y-yes, of course. Excuse-me”

He tried to apologize but he couldn't tell that thinking about the situation with Lucifer was a bit more interesting than serving customers in a Gas'n'Sip station. The man in front of him must have got what he thought, because he didn't seem calmed at all. He slammed his supplies on the counter:

“Can you focus and hurry up a little? There are people here that need to attend to important things here! Just do your fucking job”

The tone he used was pretty irritating but the fallen angel payed no mind to it. Really, he knew no one was perfect and this man must have had a stressful day, or week. Or he had some complex with his authority. But the quicker he paid for his products, the quicker he would get rid of him. He said nothing and just took the sandwich and bag of chips the man wanted to buy to register them. But he man didn't seem satisfied with it.

“You think you're to good to answer to me you little shit?!” He continued, gripping his arm. “You're just-”

Castiel looked at him with a very annoyed expression but before he had the time to react more than that, the grip on his arm was gone. Now, it was the man that was held under Lucifer' grip and icy gaze.

“As a matter of fact, he is, you earthling scum.”

“What the-”

“Now you better apologize before I tear your bones apart”

As to prove his point, he tightened his hold on the other man' arm and a cracking sound came out. His face transformed in pain and fear and confusion.

“What the hell? This has nothing to do with you, you freak.”

“What did I just say?”

Castiel could feel the atmosphere around them becoming thicker, heavier. He understood quickly why. Lucifer' eyes were gaining a red color, and the shadow of his wings started to appear on the wall behind him. He didn't have time to ask himself where he came from and what was with this over reaction. He just had to stop him before he killed a man right in the middle of the station.

“Luci- Stop it!” He warned, putting his hand on his to win his attention. It worked because the archangel turned his head to him, his eyes having their usual blue-ice color. “You can't kill this man.”

“Y-yeah! You can't!” The man tried to back him up.

“But he disrespected you. Him!”

“I know” Castiel sighed. “But it still not a reason”

The second after, the man had vanished, and there was just Lucifer looking at him with a look of wonder.

“What did you do to him?”

“Relax, I just sent him away. But really, how can you be so calm when those... creatures so below you treat you just like it was the other way around?”

“You must not blame them on that. Sometimes... things are more difficult and to act properly in public is difficult. Some of them need to get things out of their system but they have nothing else to do than to yell at random people” he tried to explain, starting to clean the item that were now abandoned on the counter.

“That's ridiculous. You need to make them respect you Castiel. You're so much more than them, you can't let them treat you like that.”

“Look, I just ignore them, okay? Why don't you too?”

“Because I won't let these animals think they're better than us, or even our equals. Even if this is what Father wanted. They're just... not even worth it. I mean... Have you seen him?”

“Some cope with difficulties... in odd ways, I have to admit. But humanity is truly good” he said looking into his eyes.

“Come on” Lucifer rolled his eyes. “I know you're not thinking about the entirety of humanity right now. In your head, there are just two of them that really matter.”

“This is-”

He was interrupted by the ring of a phone. The fallen angel quickly reached for his pocket, ignoring the look full of judgment he got from the archangel. When he saw the name that was on the screen, he didn't think before he answered.

“Dean?”

“ _Hey Cas. Hum... How are you?”_ The voice of his friend asked.

“I'm...”

He marked a pause of just a second, thinking about every thing that was happening to him, but that he couldn't talk about. Lucifer, mainly. Actually, it was all just about him. And he felt like he needed some guidance, on what to do, or what to think, just have some external advice. But he couldn't tell anything to Sam or Dean. They would just be freaked out by the return of the Devil, and they would find a way to send him back to the Cage. He wanted... to avoid that.

“I'm fine. How about you?”

“ _Huh, Well... There's some kind of situation here but don't worry, we'll figure it out”_

“What do you mean?” He asked, feeling suddenly worried. “Are you sure you don't need me?”

“ _I...” Dean laughed quietly. “Actually, I call you because... You were interested in the whole Crowley situation right?”_

“I am, yes. Do you have something?”

“ _Sort of. We know that the situation in Hell is completely shit right now. Crowley and Abbadon are fighting over the throne and it's a real civil war. Of course it's also happening on Earth so we have our hands full with angelic and demonic activities.”_

“Are you certain you don't need my assistance on this?”

“ _yes, sure man. Don't worry. It's just... Something big happened around your area, not so long ago. And we think it might be one of the two bosses. Sam and I were thinking about checking it out”_

Castiel felt knots forming in his stomach. It couldn't be a coincidence. This activity must have been the attack of Crowley and his demons. Pictures of the attack came back to his mind. The presence of the king of Hell, plus the power that it take to keep an archangel under control... It had to be something quite noticeable.  He still didn't understand. How in the Creation could Crowley overpower Lucifer? It was just not possible and it was part of his biggest concerned. So now he worried about  the archangel. Good.

“ _So we were wondering if... maybe you noticed something? Nothing happened to you, right?”_

“No, I... I didn't see anything. I'm sorry”

The knot in his stomach just became worst when he lied to Dean but what other choices did he have?

“ _Well that's one good news. I think we will swing by but... I-I'm not sure if we can go see you. You know, with... the investigations.”_

“Of course, I understand.”

“ _Okay... Good...”_

“Hum, Dean? I wanted to ask you...”

“ _Yeah, what is it?”_

“Do you... Do you have any information on Crowley, not just about his whereabouts but maybe... How does he think keep up with a knight of Hell? Maybe some new spell or weapons.”

“ _Ha, well... not really. Not that we heard about. Why do you ask?”_

“No reasons. No reasons at all”

Castiel' gaze found the one of Lucifer, and he could tell he heard everything and did the same connections as him. This mind reading was kind of convenient some times. At least he didn't have to explain every thing again.

“ _So, I will have to leave you. Keep an eye out okay?”_

“I will. Be careful you too”

On that, the call just ended. He had to take a deep breath, to tell himself that once again, he hid things from Dean and Sam. But really, he couldn't do anything else. Things would just be worst if they knew.

“So your little friends are gonna pay a visit?” Lucifer asked.

“I don't think so... It's better for them not to come too near me. With Sam' condition...”

“Right. Because of the Trials. The reason why they kicked you out and won't come back to you.”

“Don't say it like that.”

“What. They won't let you go back to the bunker with them because of the angels after you. Deal with the Devil or not” he added with a smirk. “I'm only saying the truth.”

“I... suppose you are. You do tell only the truth”

And this information made Castiel think a lot. Maybe more than he should. But deep down, he felt like he could trust this brother. And maybe, like he said, they were not that different. He could understand him, in some ways. And maybe, with that, he could guess what he really thinks. Not because he can see through his vessel, but because he knows what he is going through. In these hard times where Heaven and Hell are after them, and he can't put his trust in the Winchesters, all he has is Lucifer. And he hopes he sees it that way too. He turned around to look him in the eyes:

“Lucifer-”

Before he could even begin his sentence, Castiel felt a touch on his shoulder and they found themselves in the outside, at the rim of a forest, facing the edge of a cliff. Right before them, in the horizon, they could see a beautiful landscape made of various mountains covered in forest or fields of wild grass and flowers. The day was still bright, so Castiel figured they shouldn't be in a place to far from the center of America. He turned to face the archangel once again:

“What is this?”

“I don't know” Lucifer shrugged. “I just saw in your eyes you wanted to talk about something important and I really didn't want to have this talk in the middle of humans.”

“But I can't just-” He sighed. “Whatever. I suppose you wouldn't understand the responsibilities I have toward this station.”

“I wouldn't use the word responsibilities, yes. But anyway, what were you going to say?”

“What I was going to say... I wanted to talk about what I saw in this dream.”

“Ho... Wait, you want to open to me?”

“Kind of. What I saw... After you used your grace on me.”

“Ho... I thought this would be about you” Lucifer rolled his eyes.

“No, this is important. I need to understand one thing before I can fully trust you and... support you to the fullest”

Lucifer looked at him for a moment, as if he was debating with himself. And from just that, the fallen angel could tell that it was important that he cleared his mind on this point. The fact the archangel had difficulties to talk about that must mean something. And if this is really what he thinks, then that mean... The Devil could... Just want something that isn't just bad. He could deserve a second chance, just someone that understands him.

“All right” he finally agreed. “What did you exactly see in there?”

“I saw... Not much, to be perfectly honest. It's more about what I felt.”

“Great” he sighed. “I just knew I putted too much juice just for a bad dream.”

“Lucifer, this is important. I need to understand what this is I felt. So I can understand what _you_ felt. And might still feel.”

“Why in Hell would you want that?” He asked, incredulous and shaking his head in any other directions but Castiel'.

The dark-haired man had to actually mark a pause before he could answer. He wasn't even sure. But he was sure he could understand what Lucifer went through, even if he lived nothing comparable. Then he could believe him and things would be just so much easier. He just needed to see he was right. He needed to believe in him.

“I need to understand you”

He received no answers. Lucifer just kept on staring at the view in front of them. But he did not argue or disappeared, so he figured it was a good thing. Castiel kept his eyes on him, thinking on what to say. He never really tried to analyze the psychology of an archangel before, so he decided he would start with the beginning and state the facts to guide his reflexion:

“The Cage, it was your prison. A place specifically designed for you. To make you suffer from your treason and feed your hatred for the time the Apocalypse would begin. But your only true crime, as you said once before, was just to love your Father too much. You just couldn't accept the fact that he could ask you to love humanity more than Him. So you rebelled, and you were cast out.”

“Sounds familiar to you?” he asked with a smirk.

“I know that, at this time, you were not wrong. But we had different motivations. I could not work to the end of humanity. Now I know you are not a Saint, and all the crimes you did can't be erased and forgotten. But your punishment... You did not deserve this either. It was just too much. Even for the powerful archangel you are. No being, however powerful, ancient or bad they are should suffer this Cage. And I know that... you are not all just bad, evil.”

“Wait... come again?” This time, Lucifer looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “Did you forget that I'm Incarnate Evil?

“Of course I didn't. But I think... What I felt in the Cage. This... Darkness. Pure darkness, evil power eating me, corrupting me from the inside. Corrupting you. This is it. The thing that corrupted you. That twisted you, the brightest archangel of all creation, into the prince of darkness. It is... the Mark, isn't it?”

“Well... honestly I didn't expect you to get to these conclusions with just a feeling you got in a dream.”

“I did some thinking. But I'd like to hear it from you. I want to know if you are still the archangel Lucifer, bringer of light, somewhere behind this corruption of evil. Because I heard some things. And they were just like the voices I hear some times in my head. The voice of the people we regretted to hurt, the voice of our guilt. It was Michael, your brother. Trapped in the Cage and blaming it on you. You regret it. You regret it had to be that way. That you were forced to fight your family, the people you love. This is why I think that... you're not only bad, or evil. There is some good left in you, a conscience, feelings. You were just misguided, and made some very poor choices. Believe me, I know what it feels like”

There was a short moment a silence, during which Lucifer faced away once again. He seemed thoughtful, his eyes looking for something in the distance, maybe some answer. But it was far enough for the fallen angel to know he was right. He really was on something, and he had just to insist a little bit more to truly know the archangel. Finally, he spoke again, whispering:

“How would you know that.”

“No, you're right. I can't know exactly what it feels like but you've been isolated, trapped for too long. You're feeling... lonely. That's why all you require of me is to stay. And that's why I'm going to do it. But this is not going to be enough. I think you need to... open to me. This is the only way we can be closer.”

“Then what do you want to hear” he articulated once again, keeping his voice very low. “That I just tried to make things right? That I'm only the hero of my own story?”

“I know this is difficult” Castiel tried to support him and putted his hand on the archangel' arm.

“I... wanted to help Father with the Darkness. I took the mark without hesitation, because it felt so good to be trusted this much, to hold the Darkness all by myself. To help him so he could finally open up a little to me. To us. His children. But it wasn't enough. It was never enough. And then he created this abomination He called humanity. Because He got bored, because we weren't enough.”

“You must know this is not the reason He created them.”

“I don't know, maybe. Do you really think so? Because at the time it really seemed like the only reason. He already had a bunch of angels for him. But he wanted those stinking mud monkeys that still doubt His own existence. And He loved them more than us. I just couldn't love them. So yeah, obviously, I was angry.”

“Then the hold the Mark had on you just became stronger, making your feelings a thousand times intense. And a lot darker. Because of that you did things that could never be forgiven, not even by our Father. And we all lost you...”

“He sent Michael to banish me. He didn't even bother to...”

“I know...” Castiel whispered. “He created the Cage to hold you, and the Mark back” He left his hand travel a little lower on the archangel' forearm. “We all thought you were really gone for good, with no chances of return.”

“I wasn't. I just stayed here, for all this time. And it was hard, Castiel. It was horrible”

This time, his gaze was on the fallen angel, and stared at him with a whole new intensity. As if Castiel could actually see his grace behind this meat suit. Part of him, the real him. And it was comforting, a lot. This meant that he could see the true him, and it was the closest he could ever be.

“Just this... nothing, all around me, this void of life, of energy. I couldn't feel my brothers and sisters, for the first time in all of Creation. It was just me, and this Darkness growing inside. With feelings even darker, and evil thoughts. It changed me. I'm just not the old archangel I was, Lucifer the bringer of light. I am something entirely different now. The Devil” Lucifer smiked “And it's not so bad”

For a moment, Castiel thought that all he just tried to do was just useless. As he said, the archangel of before the rebellion was gone. The Devil was now standing before him. But he couldn't help a little feeling in his heart, telling him that there was something more, that he could understand him, and was the only one.

“There is no undoing the things you've done. There is no changing the way you are, act, or think. But this is not all just pointless. And you are not only pure evil. There is still your grace, the same old burning energy that, despite the corruption, remains the same. So yes, there are the bad, unforgiving things you've done, but the most important is what you are willing to do now. I, of all angels know it. And I think that I... I'm ready to fully trust you. And forgive you, for every thing.”

“You...”

Lucifer seemed to search for his words, but still holding the bright blue eyes of the man that stood in front of him. He finally sighed and spoke again.

“I feel like this is a very bad thing, but there is something I... haven't told you about. I actually did found Metatron”

And all the trust in his blue eyes vanished.


	8. Life Is So Strange; No Time for Revenge

“You what”

Lucifer didn't even have to read into Castiel' soul to understand he was mad. His voice seemed suddenly much deeper and sharper than usual, his eyes widened in shock and anger and most of all, he broke the contact he initiated. When he just finished confessing he hadn't told every thing, he pulled his hand from his arm and all the recognition that appeared in his eyes during their talk just... vanished.

He really did something stupid. But he felt that it was the moment they decided to be true to each other. He, the Devil, absolutely never opened this much to anyone. Anyone. And the little one did confess some things too. So it was time for he was thoroughly honest with the fallen angel, and told him every thing.

“Don't act so shocked. You had to know something like that would happen.”

“No! I-... I trusted you, Lucifer.”

Hurt was now in his eyes, along with betrayal, and some hatred toward himself for being stupid enough to trust the Devil. But oddly enough, Lucifer felt just as much hurt as Castiel. He still had difficulties to tell himself that yes, this angel putted his trust in him once again. Well, former angel, but it wasn't really relevant for him. Even without his grace, he was still this celestial being, and not one of these stinking animals.

“What? No... this is what it's about. I'm telling you now, so you can trust me now.”

“You hid things from me. Important things. How do you want me to trust you?”

This time, his blue gaze was avoiding him, focused on his feet or away. He must have felt horrible for trusting him before, until he told him that. But no, he had to gain his trust back. He didn't tell the whole truth to lose his trust.

“You did just five minutes ago.”

“Because you think trust is something that comes and goes?”

“Yes, yes I think. Because if I told you every thing it's because I don't want to hide anything, which means I want you to be able to trust me.”

“Then maybe you chose the wrong course of action. We made a deal, you can't break this.”

“I didn't break our deal. I'm supposed to reopen the doors of Heaven, right? And Mettatron is responsible? Believe me, confronting the scribe would have closed him up. And we just would have lost our element of surprise”

And, wow, so many thoughts went through his head. Anger, regret, guilt. He blamed himself for trusting Lucifer but despite what he knew, he still wanted to. He wanted to believe he was good. And he felt stupid for this, and felt the need for some guidance. He was aching to run to the Winchesters and confess and beg for their forgiveness. Castiel was just so completely lost. In a way, Lucifer could appreciate that. But too many things were missing.

He putted his hand on the fallen angel cheek and made him look into his eyes, but never being to forceful or brutal. It was supposed to be a comforting gesture. He understood that the little one needed company and support just as much as he did.

“Hey, stop avoiding me and tell me that I was wrong to think that”

When finally he looked him in the eyes, there was something wayward in his gaze. A spark of dissent and rebellion that made him look kind of... irresistible.

“You did hid things from me when I took the risk to trust you completely. I don't think this is what partners do.”

“I know. That's the reason why I just decided to stop, and tell you every thing. Because I just figured I wanted more than just to use you. There can be some sort of... mutual exchange. Something that would make us closer, because honestly, now, you know me more than anyone. That's the closer I could ever be to anyone. And somehow it doesn't feel enough yet.”

Castiel adverted his eyes, but it was enough for the archangel to know what was going through his head.

“Now it's you who are trying to hide things” he commented with a smirk.

“Maybe... What you say is true. As soon as Mettatron knows about your return, he will become much more difficult to get to. Now he thinks he is the strongest angel. As long as he thinks that way, he will not be too careful. And it's our best shot to get to him. At least you know where to find him. The next step is to find a way to make him cancel the spell.”

“Right”

Lucifer was kind of disappointed in the reply he got. It wasn't what he was expecting, but at least, the little one seemed appeased. Even if he would rather have a reply to what he said about their relation. To say it was complicated would be a huge understatement. And he knew what he said got to Castiel, and created something in him. But he was always the formal one.

Absently, he rubbed his thumb on the cheek he still hadn't let go of. The look he received told him that it was far enough for now. Right. The dark-haired man just needed time to process. Lucifer could be patient, if what he got in the end was worth it. But he had the feeling it would be.

He withdrew his hand right after flying them back to the station, and continued talking about the Fall issue while Castiel took notice they had changed location once again:

“Mettatron won't be easy to crack. He is a convicted bastard. He is persuaded he is so special just because Father made him his scribe. A little arrogant if you ask me.”

“Because you are so well placed to talk about arrogance” Castiel commented.

““Takes one to know one”, right?”

What he got was a snort, and he definitely took it as a win. The fallen angel went back to his place behind the counter and checked quickly if no one was around.

“So how do you think we can do this?” He pursued

“Well... We don't give him any other choice. We will find where he keeps his private access to upstairs and keep it from him. He will have to do something to get back to his privilege and if he just uses another of the tablet' tricks, at least we will know its position.”

“I see... In that case, I will look for indications of the Door' location. Within my possibilities of course”

Lucifer could see what Castiel thought. Having the Winchesters on the case would be much more convenient. He had to admit, they had a real gift to find information. But no, he couldn't allow this. They did not scare him, obviously. It's not like they ruined the oldest and most thought plan of all Creation and were the ones that sent him back in the Cage, him and Michael. But he knew that they wouldn't agree to work with him, and search for a way to lock him up again, and all the progress he made with the little one would just go in smoke. He couldn't allow that.

“It will be quick. With me and the things that still see me as their god on the case, we will find it in no time. The kind of energy a physical and direct connection to Heaven gives off must be very noticeable. We will settle things so don't over think this”

It felt weird to use the word “we”. It really felt as if he was part of something with other people, even if it was just one other people and they didn't make the most common of the team. But again, he didn't do “team”. He never did. It was weird but not so bad. It was Castiel this was about, and this angel picked his curiosity a long time ago.

“All right. Then... I trust you on this” the dark-haired man finally answered.

“Thank you.”

“I mean it, Lucifer. Just don't... keep things from me ever again.”

“Of course”

Though he had to make a pause because did he heard right? He trusted him again. It was faster than what he expected, but it was good. It felt very satisfying. And he just agreed on his demand without even thinking too much about this. Hiding things, manipulation... it was his thing. He shouldn't agree on this. However, he did, and too easily. And it didn't even seemed wrong. Well, if they had to be partners, that seemed logical. On the other hand, Castiel didn't seemed convinced, because he was still staring at him. The archangel could understand. He trusted him but still had doubts. It wouldn't be him if he didn't doubted.

“I promise... It wouldn't be in my interests.”

“Yes, I hope you are right”

Though, for a reason, knowing that he didn't have Castiel' blind trust was annoying. Not that he needed it, but he wanted it. He decided that he should find a way to get it. It would be quite a challenge. Coming before the Winchesters in this little one' mind. But he would try anyway.

He figured that the best way for it would be to keep his words. Keeping his part of the deal. So he just took off, looking for demons he could get under his influence again, despite the reign of Crowley in Hell. He didn't have to look for too long before he found some demons doing demon's stuff, such as murder or torture. Honestly, he didn't care. He just needed their eyes and ears. Not in the literal sense.

They didn't believed him at first, not surprisingly. He was supposed to be locked in the most secured prison of the Creation. The Apocalypse was done and gone. Well... he could always find another way of getting rid of this despicable humanity. But once he showed the demons his true nature, they radically change their attitude. They worshiped him, after all. It brought him back to a time when he had to gorge himself with their blood just to keep this vessel in one piece.

Which sent him to his biggest problem of the time. To whatever the Hell happened with Crowley. How could this pathetic crossroad demon overpower him? Well... he understood the most important of it when he saw it. It was a real surprise to be back on Earth, out of the Cage, and a part of the surprise was the fact that he was back in this body. Vessel he left to waist when he got Sam Winchester. He wondered who could have retrieve it, and why. But he paid no more mind. Because he was looking into the Castiel' case, and because he knew that eventually, the responsible one would show himself. He just never could imagine he, Lucifer, the Devil, would lose in a power fight against this... thing.

Anyway, the twisted human' souls had no information about it. They were always useless on this point. Just so stupid. No one knew what Crowley was planning, but apparently he already had his hands full with his civil war against Abbadon to go after the Devil.

He remembered this demon named Abbadon. A knight of Hell, that was always loyal to him. He knew that he rather had her on the throne waiting for his return than the salesman. At least, if he ever wanted it back, she would let him. And not try to control him. And she was not the one who worked against him during the Apocalypse. Sure, she was nowhere to be found and she didn't participated. But he figured something killed her, like the others Knights of Hell. He didn't really need her at the time. But maybe then, he could use her to get rid of Crowley. That was a possibility.

Lucifer turned to the demons he found and told them specifically what he wanted from them. Observation, researches. No actions, no talk to anyone but him. They would obey him, after all, he was their Lord, their Father. The thought made him smile a bit.

After things were clear, he went for his own investigation. What he said sooner was true. A portal like this one must emit a particular energy. It was the way home, he should feel it. He tried to concentrate but he found out soon that it was just useless. Obviously, Mettatron took some precautions. If any angel, even fallen, used his grace to find the way back to Heaven, his plan would have been just useless. He had to hide it better than that. But where to hide the way to Heaven? It wasn't something very discreet.

Maybe he needed to look at things in a different way. If he couldn't find the doors because they were hidden, he could look for wards powerful enough to hide something like this. So he traveled all around the World, looking for the places more likely to inhabit something that powerful. Mettatron really could have hidden it any where.

He then decided he would meet with the demons he asked to watch over the target, and know where he's been the most. It would give him an indication of a place to look. The scribe had to keep an eye over it, just in case. It would surely betray him.

Before he could make deductions from what he heard, he felt something, deep within his grace. It surprised him at first. Right. He just lost the habit of this feeling. No one prayed to him in a long, long time. Except one little fallen angel. The prayer somehow made him aware of what time it was. He just noticed that the night was falling. Of course, as a great being such as an archangel, time had no influence on him. So he hadn't noticed he had spent the whole day looking around the World for the door to Heaven, leaving Castiel alone.

But humans felt time pass, and as much as he hated to admit it, right now, Castiel was more a human than an angel. And he had no fucking ideas of how to fix this and it was what frustrated him the most. Well... that, and the fact that the little one still pushed him away.

The prayer was not like the last one though. It was more urging, and it was not just a feeling of longing he could perceive. There were words. He was consciously praying to Lucifer and telling him things.

 _"Please Lucifer come back quick. I don't think I can hold on much longer._ _I need you._ _I'm not strong enough”_

Those words triggered Something in him, that looked very similar to worry and panic. He flew to him without losing a second, fear settling in his stomach. When he got to him, he understood that he had all the reasons to be worried. Castiel was standing in the middle of a battle field. Lucifer could only assume that some angels ambushed Castiel just when he was going home. Conveniently when the archangel was too far, when he couldn't protect him, even if he promised he would.

There were the bodies of three fallen angels on the ground, their grace burned up in the shape of their broken wings printed on the floor under empty vessels. Castiel still knew how to defend himself, obviously. He wasn't just anyone. Fallen, but former warrior of Heaven. And what a warrior. It was still a wonder that he was able to kill three angel without a trace of grace left in him.

Castiel was battling with the last one of his attackers, parrying his attacks with his angel blade he never let go of. The archangel had no ideas when he started to pray to him but he did good to stay alive. Though the mere idea of the fact that angels got to him when he was far made him angry. In addition to the fact that the fallen angel was visibly hurt badly, and began to get tired. He really hated this effect humanity had on the little one. He then had no time to waist to show this angel that he made a huge mistake, taking himself to Castiel.

Lucifer rose his hand, ready to strike with the power of his grace, when he heard the sound of blade against blade once again. Except that this time, it was followed by the sound of something hard and sharp being buried between broken ribs. A shocked gasp escaped Castiel' lips, before blood followed. He fell on his knees, loosing too quickly his vital energy. With trembling hands, he tried to keep the blood from spilling from his opened wound.

The archangel felt all his body freeze in terror and all he could do was scream “CASTIEL!”

The unforgivable angel that did this had only the time to turn around, be visibly shocked by the fact that Lucifer stood in front of him and whisper “What the-” Before he was hit with all the power of the archangel' wrath and smote into oblivion.

But it didn't change anything. Castiel was still loosing blood too quickly. Lucifer ran to him and caught him right before he lost just the strength to stand on his knees and his head hit the cold ground. He tried to give him some composure with an arm behind his shoulders.

“Castiel. Stay with me.”

He tried not to scream once again, because this wasn't something he did. But his voice betrayed all of his fear, trembling as he spoke. He pressed his hand on the wound opened in his chest, but it was only to cover his hand of his blood and feel his heart' beating stopping. Panic rose in him as he looked into his deeply blue eyes that lost their spark.

It felt just like it was him who had been stabbed in the heart. The World collapsed all around him. Just like that, Castiel was gone. No burning grace, no shadow of wings printed forever on the place of his death as an eternal reminder. Just a bloody grunt and his body became loose and his head fell backward. Every thing felt empty around Lucifer, and he felt a terrible, unspeakable pain, just like a part of him had been torn out of his very being.

“no, nononono”, was all the archangel could mutter under his breath as he put all the energy of his grace into the wound and the body in his arms. He had to heal him, he had the power. He didn't know why he felt so terribly bad when he knew he could fix this. And he was, because he could feel his grace getting to work. Apparently, it didn't settle any thing. It still felt horribly painful.

When the flesh was put back together and the heart under his hand started to beat again at a regular pace, he let a deep sigh out. Hearing Castiel' respiration and seeing his chest rise and fall regularly felt like a huge gift. Along with the confused look he got from those deep blue eyes sparkling with life again.

“Oh, thank Dad...”

“Lucifer, what-”

It felt just right to pull the little one against him, and hold him tight. Even if they were still outside and there were the corpses of four of their siblings lying around them. He didn't give a fuck. Castiel was alive again and the relief he felt seemed almost not real, it felt too good.

He couldn't believe yet that he was so scared about losing him. When did this happened? How was he so attached? His curiosity and interest changed into something else but he couldn't say when. Whatever. He wrapped him even tighter in his arms and didn't let got just yet. He rested his head against the crook of Castiel' neck, to hide all the emotions that were showing on his vessel' face, to feel closer, and to feel him.

Hesitant hands were slowing moving on his back, in an attempt to return the gesture. And before he could hear the words Castiel spoke, he felt them against his skin, vibrating in the throat that was against his temp.

“Thank you for bringing me back.” He said quietly.

“You have to be kidding me” Lucifer snorted. “Obviously I wouldn't let you just die.”

“Right... because it is in our deal that you have to protect me”

Lucifer had to pull off a little just to look into the fallen angel' eyes because Heavens, how much did these Winchester boys influenced on him? He was so deep into refusing to face the truth of what was right before him, it was a bit worrying. Or maybe he was just very oblivious.

“No. Because I don't want to lose you.”

“You-... Is that so?” The little one asked, a little bit shyly, in a hushed tone.

But he had to know the answer already, because Lucifer did not lie. He noticed that his cheeks turned a little red and it was a common, very human reaction, but the archangel didn't mind that much.

Lucifer noticed Castiel still had a drool of blood down his lip. He sighed and brought the hand that was behind his shoulders to wipe it, keeping his other arm around the small of his back. This red liquid reminded him painfully of his mortality.

“You were human. That's the only reason why I was able to bring you back. But you have the bad habit to die a lot. I wouldn't recommend that when you become an angel again. Because if you die angel, even with all my power, I'm not sure I could restore you...”

As he spoke, he kept his hand on the fallen angel' cheek and caressed slowly his skin with his thumb. But this time, Castiel didn't seem to mind. He even smiled a little bit. It was a kind of bitter smile. Lucifer could tell he didn't believe he could ever have his grace back. But the archangel would do every thing to make Castiel the powerful being he once was. He just couldn't accept that now, he was reduced to this miserable existence. He deserved so much more.

“All right... I will try not to die again”

It was funny. Really, it was. Because just this simple sentence made Lucifer acknowledge the fact that he felt so many thing for Castiel. And he wanted to laugh but when their eyes met, it just felt natural to lean forward and finally get a taste of those sweet lips. He kissed him, his eyes closed to concentrate every thing he could feel on his mouth. EVen if he wanted to stay this way, and keep on kissing him, he pulled back to observe the former angel' reaction, as if every thing that matters in this Universe would depend on it. It was a quick and chaste kiss, just a peck on his mouth. But the intention was there, and now there was no way of denying it. He needed to know what it would mean for Castiel.

He felt Castiel' heart skip a beat, and then pump faster and louder. But he didn't pull away. He just stared at him with a look of shock and a redder shade on his cheeks. Not knowing how to take this reaction, Lucifer just kept on rubbing his thumb on the edge of the other' lower lip, finding himself unable to look anywhere else.

The kiss tasted like blood. It was not surprising, regarding what Castiel just went through. But Castiel, he… He felt like the atmosphere of a heavy summer evening, before a storm. Something heavy, charged, overwhelming. The fallen angel still felt like something powerful and more than human, even without his grace. The archangel was impatient to taste it more, deeper, get the time to dive into it.

But he didn't expected it so soon, when Castiel placed both hands on the sides of his face and crushed their lips together once again.

This time he had all the time to taste his lips, and past the flavor of his blood, there was him. Taste of an electric energy that was clinging to him and beckoning his grace, calling to him. And he would not turn him down. He started to nibble his lips and licking them, those he always wanted to kiss and that now were pressed against his.

He put his arms around the other man and pressed him closer when he felt something moist on his chest. He really didn't want to break the contact but he had to check. He noticed that it was the blood that wasn't still cleaned from the fallen angel' wound.

With a thought, they were back into the apartment, landing on the large bed. Castiel gasped in surprise, not expecting a sudden change of scenery. And the moment his eyes wondered around the room, Lucifer understood that he did a mistake. Regret was already drawing on the face of the dark-haired man. He did kiss the Devil, how good could he feel after that. He caught him trying to get an excuse out of his mind but the archangel would get none of this.

“No you don't” He growled.

Lucifer shut him up with another kiss, and pushed him down on the sheets with a firm grip on his shoulders. He trapped Castiel under him and licked more insistently his lips to get inside. The fallen angel finally complied and parted his lips, giving him full access. He didn't wait a second to slide his tongue inside, licking every part he could get to. Tasting every inch, exploring every corner of his mouth. Their tongue met and started to dance together.

Weird. This desire, this want. It was so human, but it didn't feel as disgusting when it was with Castiel. Suddenly, a moan escape the younger' throat and sent a wave of arousal through his body. He didn't expected this so soon but he wasn't going to complain. He just came back from death. It must be an overwhelming experience. Lucifer just hoped the other man would stop pretending after that.

He unbuttoned the bloodied shirt Castiel was wearing and shoved it aside when he felt a hand on his arm and he pulled out of their kiss. He had to take his breath. Right, he almost forgot that.

“W-Wait...”

The little one tried to complain but he was blushing furiously and his eyes were dark with desire. Added to the fact that his lips were red and swollen and Lucifer barely could stop himself from kissing them again. So instead, he traveled to his neck and planted kisses there between two sentences:

“No I won't. Because I want it and you want it too. Why can't you just take it?”

“Because I- Aah...” He had to stop when Lucifer found a particularly sensitive spot. “You can't just take whatever you want. Some things are just... not right.”

“You feel right” Lucifer replied before planting another kiss on his so inviting lips. “This feels right” He drawn his mouth near Castiel' ear to whisper. “And it felt so right to blow you and give you this much pleasure the other night”

Whatever objection he was about to give got lost into a gasp as he rolled his hips down on Castiel'. He wanted this bad, if his hardness was something to go by. The fallen angel was very responsive then, despite himself. He rolled his hips up to meet the archangel' and couldn't keep a gasp of pleasure when their erection touched, even through layers of clothing.

Lucifer decided that he could force the words out of him another time. Right now, he needed some action. He quickly undressed them both and kissed the bare skin of his chest, his abdomen and his hips, to get to his hard member. The contact made the other man shiver, which only convinced him to continue. He licked his length a few time, appreciating the whining noises that were coming from him, before swallowing it entirely. The weight against his tongue and the taste of the fallen angel' cock felt almost as good as the sounds that were coming out of him. Poor little one, so desperate, so needy. But he was here to give him some relief.

Lucifer started to move his lips up and down, at a regular but slow pace, just to see if Castiel could keep his control. Obviously, even if he wasn't a virgin, he was very inexperienced, he lacked control. Looking for some more relief, he rocked his hips to fuck the archangel' mouth. It was a good thing he didn't do things as “choke” or it would have been very unpleasant.

“Lucifer... P-Please...”

He didn't even know what he was asking for, but it was so very exiting. His broken pleads sent a wave of arousal right through his entire body and it was hard not to fuck him right on the mattress. Lucifer placed a hand on the younger' hips to prevent him from moving again, and his other hand went lower again. He cupped his ass and reached for his hole, starting to tease the entrance without stopping sucking him. He received a surprised gasp followed by a moan so he figured he could continue without worries.

When he put one finger inside of the fallen angel, he felt hands on his shoulders, as if the other man was looking for some support, something to hold on to. He was there, the archangel wasn't going any where soon. He moved inside slowly, at the same pace as his mouth was working his member. Then he added another finger, and it was too damn difficult to resist. Castiel was just so warm and tight around his fingers. Inviting, with the noises he made, and the way his body kept on trying to move despite the grasp the archangel had on his hips. He was getting impatient, demanding. Just like him. The need Lucifer felt wasn't normal but he wanted it. He wanted to fuck the little one so bad, his vessel was almost aching.

The archangel pulled out slowly and let go of the younger' member to place himself at the same level, lining his cock with Castiel' entrance. He could feel his respiration hitch under him, and being so heavy. He felt hands running from his shoulders to his head and he was kissed again with much more passion, without any holding back. He decided that it was what he wanted more than anything. Finally, an uninhibited Castiel, accepting his desires and taking what he wants.

Lucifer licked his ear before whispering “May I...?”

“N... No... W-wait” The dark-haired man managed to breath.

The archangel was taken aback by his refusal. By just the lustful tone of his voice and the way the hands on his head were grasping his hair, he didn't think he could refuse. He pulled slightly away to look him in the eyes.

“You sure?”

What he got as an answer was a jerky nod, of a very flustered and red face. He supposed then, that it was enough for tonight. They already did a lot of progress. He said nothing more before he backed up from his ass and lined up their erections. He moved his hips again, rocking their body together. The feeling of their members against each other was just ecstatic. The other angel gasped and held on to him even tighter. He knew he wasn't far from the edge, because he already worked him enough. And his regular moans and broken pleads were a good indication of the fact that he was getting close. Lucifer kept on rolling his hips down a few times, at a steady rhythm, before the pleasure became overwhelming for the other man and he kissed him again, deeply, as he came between their stomach fitted close together.

The sight Lucifer had was stunning. The expression of absolute pleasure the little one had, eyes half lidded and dark with pleasure, face flushed and mouth opened and wet by their kisses. In addition to the broken moans he made as the archangel kept on moving against his sensitive member in his post-orgasmic state, it wasn't long before he reached his own limits and came groaning in the crook of the younger' neck.

The room was filled with only the sound of their heavy respiration, even if angels didn't really needed to breath. It just seemed like a good way to deal with the flux of emotion he was feeling. In a movement, both men were cleaned and lying against each other, and it wasn't long before Castiel' breath became more regular and he snuggled closer. Deeply asleep already then.

Removing some strands of dark hair that were sticking on his forehead because of the sweat, Lucifer thought he did this. And he was just getting started, because he wanted to do so much more for this sweet little angel asleep in his arms.


	9. You Know You're Inside my Head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!  
> This chapter is a bit long but there is a lot happening so I hope you'll like it!

“Tell me one thing, you are human, right?”

Castiel heard the voice of Lucifer echoing in the station he was working in. He turned around to ask him what this was about but he found the aisle behind him empty. That's when he figured out that the archangel was in the next aisle and wasn't talking to him.

“Er... Of course I am. What else could I be?” Replied the hesitant voice of Nora.

“I don't know, demon, fallen angel... Make your choice”

She laughed a bit, taking his assumptions as a joke. Castiel wondered what could Lucifer want. He was just blowing their cover but the woman seemed oblivious to their true nature.

“Anyway, I wanted to ask you: What do humans do to please each other when they are in a relationship? Apart from sexual rapports, I think we're quite good on this” He added the last sentence on a lower tone as if thinking for himself, but it was still loud enough for Castiel to hear and he felt himself turning bright red.

He was referencing to them, right? It couldn't be anything else. He remembered clearly the night before. Their kiss and all the rest. This time there was no way of mistaking his intentions. He was attracted to the archangel, and he couldn't try to tell himself it was nothing, just a side effect, or that if didn't count since he was the Devil. Now it was too late to lie to himself.

“Ho... This-This is about Steve?”

“Yeah, right. Steve.”

“You want to surprise him, right? How long have you been together you two?”

“hm... about seventeen hours, something like that.”

“No, seriously” She laughed lightly.

“Seriously. But it doesn't matter, answer my question.”

“Well... I don't know... It all really depends on what Steve likes. But the big classic is... taking him out, on a dinner, offering gifts.”

“I see... Well, thank you for the information.”

“What is this about?” Castiel finally decided to go in the same aisle as the two people and ask them directly. When Lucifer saw him, a smile spread across his face, and he walked to him.

“Prepare yourself. I'm taking you out tonight.”

“Why would you do that?” He asked, because he felt like he had to. He trusted Lucifer now, but it became a habit to just be defensive around him. Because he used to build a wall between them, to keep Lucifer out of his thoughts, to keep himself from feelings things for the archangel. But the wall was in pieces now, it was too late for pretending. He would have to drop that habit.

Or maybe not, because it seemed to amuse the archangel. He was about to reply when the door bell rang, calling him back to his duty.

“You'll see, and you don't get to say no.”

“I wasn't going to.”

“Perfect...”

They kept on staring at each other for a few seconds before Castiel saw customers wondering in the alleys around. Right, he had a job to do. He returned behind the counter and when he looked for Lucifer, he was already gone. He would see him in the evening then.

“Hello Castiel”

When he heard his angel name being called, he quickly turned around to see a man standing right behind him, angel blade in hand. He just had the time to get to his own blade when he was held by the collar and shoved against the counter, powerless. He barely believed what was happening. He just died the day before. Couldn't he get some rest?

“Metatron says hi, by the way”

Confusion came to him. So this angel was sent by Metatron? This didn't make any sense. He decided to let him live when he took his grace. Why decide to kill him now? He didn't have time to ask his attacker because he raised his weapon to strike down. Or that's what he wanted to do, because before that, his eyes and mouth lit up as his grace burned inside of him, and he fell to the ground, lifeless.

“I really can't leave you one second”

Castiel turned to see Lucifer, hand raised toward him, in a grace concentration position. He nodded, as a sign of recognition, and felt really grateful to the fact that Lucifer always listened to his prayers.

“What the Hell?”

Five more angels appeared around them, with shocked faces. And they had what to. Their eyes were wondering from Castiel to Lucifer, who were preparing for the attacks.

“What are you doing out of your Cage?”

“What are you doing out of Heaven?” Lucifer replied with a smirk. “You lost your way home?”

“This is what you think”

An angel in a female vessel replied before flying right behind the archangel and attacking him. He just had the time to avoid the strike before turning around and parrying another one with an angel blade a got from a brother he killed the day before.

“I see that you got your wings back...”

“There are good points in working for Metatron”

Things started to make more sense to Castiel. So these brothers and sisters got back to Heaven. This is how Metatron could reign over them. Being the only one giving them Heaven back. They really had to get the entrance back. He could survive a fight with fallen angels, but not full powered ones. Especially not when he was outnumbered like that. He barely could dodge the attacks he was victim of.

A little bit further, he caught some glimpses of Lucifer' fight. He was against three angels at the same time. He was holding them off quite easily. That was a relief. The dark-haired man, on his side, had much more difficulties. Being just one human against two full-powered angels.

He saw a blinding light, and heard a loud noise. One of the angels was dead. He figured Lucifer had more difficulties since he was here. If he was truly alone, he could have just blasted his grace and smite them all, as he must have done it the previous times. But it was more difficult when there were people on your side in the battlefield.

Suddenly, he felt a sharp pain in his shoulder and gritted his teeth to keep him from screaming. Then he felt something cold being pushed against the skin of his neck and he stopped breathing, as if it could prevent the blade from cutting his flesh. He heard a voice coming from behind him:

“Drop the blade Lucifer, of the fallen dies!”

The archangel turned around with a frightened expression on his face, which quickly turned into anger and just glared at the angel that was holding Castiel under his blade.

“You better let go of him now, or you really wont like what is coming next.”

“What. Did I. Just say” The angel replied and, as to insist, pushed the blade further against the dark-haired man.

His skin broke and a drool of blood ran on his tanned skin. He should have moved, done something, but he was paralyzed by fear. He shouldn't be, since he died a good number of time before and Lucifer could bring him back, but it seemed like the human mind was not rational when putted in the middle of a death threat.

Lucifer sighed slowly and opened his palm, letting the blade fall on the floor. He then raised his hands in the air as a sign of surrender, but he kept an annoyed expression on his face. It is at this moment that an angel fled behind him and dove his blade into his heart.

Castiel felt his blood turn cold and all he could do was scream. He grasped the arm that was holding the blade against his throat and twisted it to bury the weapon inside the angel' chest. He didn't close his eyes when his grace burned out. He just took the blade and ran to the angel in a young male vessel that just killed Lucifer. He jumped on him and shoved him on the ground, striking for his throat. But the angel caught his arm and tried to hold him off. He seemed afraid though. And he was right to be. Castiel was enraged, and was going to rip his face off.

“Really, Castiel? You're choosing him over your brethren? Over Heaven?”

“Shut up. You killed him. I will end you.”

“This is Lucifer this is abo-”

The angel didn't have time to finish his sentence, as his head was cut from his body and rolled on the floor. Then, a blinding light came from behind Castiel and when he turned around, he saw Lucifer looking at him with a smile on his face. His eternal smile.

“Really... You think so little of me, Castiel? You know that I can only be killed by an archangel blade, right? But still, I'm flattered that you went on a killing spree to avenge me”

The fallen angel sighed heavily and just left his head fall forward. He was suddenly feeling very tired by these changes of emotions. The archangel was right, he should have known that he wasn't dead. But when the angel shoved his blade into his heart, his vision went red and he couldn't think straight.

He went back on his feet and observed the bodies of their brothers and sisters they killed. Again. Were they really destined to this? Kill their own brethren for their survival? He hopped dearly that there was another way. But he knew that he never could be forgiven for what he's done to Heaven. Then, he noticed something.

“Wait a minute. Weren't they-”

“What the Hell was that??”

Castiel and Lucifer turned around as the familiar voice of a frightened and freaked out woman echoed in the station. How could he have forgot about Nora? Again? Lucifer just sighed and fled next to her.

“Here we go again...”

“No!” She yelled as she jerked away from the blond. “No more mind erasing!”

“You... you knew?” Castiel asked, dumbfound.

“No... well, I do now. I remembered the minute I saw these... people. Who... Who are you...?”

“Nora, please...”

“No, I want the truth, “Castiel”” she said with a look of betrayal in her eyes, before turning to Lucifer “And they called you “Lucifer”... You just killed those people in my station. I think I deserve it.”

“I'm sorry... I can't. It would only put you in more danger. Please believe me”

The fallen angel pleaded her. She had to believe her. If more angel came and she knew what was happening, she would only gain torture, of worst if demons came first. He just couldn't tell her the truth. But the look she gave him... broke his heart. He knew she felt betrayed, and she was mad, and terrified. She gave him her trust, and a new chance. All the fallen angel gave her in return were lies and put her in danger.

“Then go” she finally said.

“What?”

“I said. Go. I want you to go away. And never come back. I just... I can't trust you anymore, whatever your true name is. You... hid things from me, brought destruction to my station... What you-”

“Hey! Shut up, I think he's got it” Lucifer snapped.

All the dark-haired man could do was look at the floor. He knew she was right. He only brought destruction, and pain. He never should have stayed here.

“I'm sorry. Goodbye Nora”

On this, he stormed out of the station. Lucifer joined him soon enough, but both stayed silent, just staring at the view of the city they had from the parking lot of the station. The archangel figured that the other man needed some time to proceed. He seemed to like this place. Being rejected like this must have been hard. And it wasn't the first time he was rejected. First Heaven, then the Winchesters, and now that... But he had to know he wasn't completely alone. He putted a hand on his shoulder.

“It's alright, Castiel”

He then flew them directly into their apartment and the moment the landed, the fallen angel turned around and wrapped him in his arms. Lucifer was surprised for a moment by the gesture, but quickly enough, he returned the embrace. He just needed some comfort and well, that's why he was there. So he pulled him a bit closer and left him feel his comfort. He caught his grace trying to reach to the little one, without even thinking about it. It was just a reflex, it felt natural. But he felt nothing in return. Because the man in his arms was still just a man. And the thought of it made him... nostalgic. He wanted to feel him. He wanted to feel his grace so bad, reach to it, feel it respond to his attempts of closeness. But it seemed like he was stuck human.

It would not ruin his plan, Lucifer decided. So things happened, but he had planned something to please Castiel and now he needed it more than before. An attack amongst others would not ruin that. He caressed his hair gently and spoke again:

“Try to get some rest”

The second after, the fallen angel was tucked in his bed, and Lucifer was gone. He decided that it wasn't a bad thing. They still needed to sort things out. And himself had to clear his thoughts.

When he woke up, it was to the sight of Lucifer watching over him from the foot of the bed. For a second, he was freaked out but he soon calmed down.

“I... Didn't even notice I passed out.”

“It's not surprising. Many things happened lately and you didn't rest enough”

Castiel nodded. It was true that he fought angels, and died, but kept on working late as if nothing happened. Now, these kind of things wouldn't happen any more. He rose from the bed and looked once again at Lucifer, who had an expecting expression on his face.

“What is it?”

“Remember when I said I would take you out?”

“Oh... right”

It didn't really got out of his head, but he didn't think about it either. His gaze fell on his clothes. He was still wearing the Gas'n'Sip uniform. First, he shouldn't wear it anymore and second, it wasn't appropriate for a night out, according to Dean.

“I know” Lucifer agreed “But look what I brought you”

He designated clothes lying on a chair. From where he was, Castiel thought he could see a white shirt, black pants and dress shirt, and something long and tan colored.

“I didn't know what you would wear so I just took thing that looked like what you wore before. Brings back memories, right?”

Lucifer was right. This outfit, it reminded him of Jimmy, and of a war suit. Something he never took off. Until everything changed and he was human, with no fight to do but the one to survive in this World. He supposed that now... He had another mission. The life of “Steve”, simple sales associate was gone.

This is how, not ten minutes later, Castiel was sitting at a table with Lucifer in a chic restaurant like he never saw. Really, this kind of place was very new to him. The Winchester didn't have the time or the money to hang in expensive places like this. Every thing was screaming money, from the organizations of the table to the red velvet of the curtains, passing by the attitude of the waiters. But it wasn't so bad. It just... felt very foreign. It felt as if he was in a total different world. But World traveling wasn't so unusual to him, before.

When he stopped looking all around him, he found the icy gaze of the archangel, staring at him as if he was trying to see something buried deep inside him. He frowned, to try to make him understand that it was an odd behavior, but he didn't seem to notice, or care. And as seconds passed, the fallen angel was feeling hotter and the wait for their dishes seemed endless. So he tried to break the silence.

“So, er... thanks. For bringing me here.”

“You are very welcome”

At least it seemed to work, because the archangel was out of his thoughts and now smiling to him with a charming smile. Castiel tried to think of something else to say, because he felt that if he didn't, he would just come with other thoughts just like the one he just had about that smile.

“You are very considerate”

Damn. This is not what he was expecting. And with that, Lucifer' smile only grew wider, flashing his teeth. All right, this was what was in his mind, and he meant it. The blond was very attentive toward him, being careful of his security and his human' well being. But saying it like that...

The archangel leaned forward and placed his elbows on the table, joining his hands together and looking him in the eyes with an amused expression, if not a pleased one.

“Is this an attempt at flirtation, little one?”

“Well, hum... maybe... What if it was?”

Castiel asked with a defying tone, because it seemed that he had to be that way with Lucifer. Obviously, it wasn't an attempt of flirtation. It was just a genuine statement of truth. But it didn't bother him that the archangel took it that way. Maybe he should try it, sometime. Flirt with the Devil.

Lucifer laughed quietly. Then he putted his hand on Castiel' and looked him in the eyes once again. “You know you don't need that kind of things with me”

It was Castiel' turn to laugh a little bit, letting his head fall slightly forward. “Honestly, I'm still not sure” He replied with a rough voice, before turning his hand and intertwining their fingers together.

Right, he didn't know for sure. He didn't know exactly what the archangel was thinking, or if he could feel like he was feeling as a human. Hell, he didn't even know what exactly flirtation was for, apart for getting into someone' pants. And that was already done with them.

“Are you sure you're okay?” Came the worried voice of Lucifer, and it sounded foreign on him.

“Surprisingly” Castiel thought “yeah... I'm not devastated with sadness, if this is what you are asking. I've been chased from the only place that accepted me, I lied and betrayed the only one who gave me a chance, but... This is funny...”

“What is it?”

“I'm fine. Truly fine... and It seems like it is... as long as I know you are by my side”

A heavy silence fell around both of them. Lucifer seemed shocked. Really shocked, and his mind seemed to go elsewhere. The only thing that told Castiel that he was still here with him was the coldness of his fingers around his. He wasn't sure if he did a mistake of any sort. He only told the truth. But then again, he didn't know how was the archangel feeling, if he felt at all.

“I just feel at peace when you are close to me. It seems like I... hum... care about you” Castiel finally disclosed, feeling his cheeks becoming warmer. Even more when he saw the bright smile Lucifer was addressing him.

“Well I'm quite fond of you too” He echoed “But what do you want, Castiel?”

“Er... I... Don't know.”

“Tch... You really should learn to listen to yourself.”

“Well... What do _You_ want, Lucifer?”

“Right now? I really, really want you.”

And wow it felt different to hear it directly from him. His desire was true and hearing it just made it so real, it sent a wave of heat through his whole body. Castiel just stood up from his chair. In two footsteps, he was right next to Lucifer and put his hand on his cheek.

Then he leaned down and kissed the archangel. He could slid his tongue in his mouth easily, as his lips parted almost immediately. It was then very obvious that he wanted it more intensely. Deeply, fiercely, without holding back any of his passion or want. When he was done licking every inch of Lucifer' mouth and had to break the kiss to breath, he sighed.

“I thought you just took whatever you wanted”

“Wha-... I thought you didn't want...” Lucifer breathed with wide eyes. “Can I really...?”

“Yes. Take it. It's yours”

And he kissed him again but this time, the kiss was returned and he felt hands all around him, traveling from his neck to his hips. Before he knew it, they were again in their apartment, far from the lights and the eyes of the restaurant. He fell backward on the king sized bed, Lucifer above him, and it felt just so good, and so right. Castiel knew he just offered himself to the Devil but... It was just a name amongst others, and he wanted it. He wanted him.

When Castiel woke up the next morning, he felt exhausted, drained out, but good. Definitely good. There was this energy all around him that made him feel where he belonged. Right before his eyes, there was Lucifer, staring at him as always. Seeing this familiar face sent a wave of relief through his whole being. He should have known he was still there, because he could literally feel his presence. But he couldn't help but worry. Slowly, he rose on his elbows, when he felt his muscles ache. He still felt sore. A smile spread on his face at the thoughts of the night he just spend with the archangel.

“You are still here...”

“Where else would I be?” Lucifer asked raising an eyebrow.

“I don't-... I just figured that after you got what you wanted...”

The fallen angel found himself unable to finish his sentence, already feeling his cheeks warming from embarrassment. He suddenly felt really stupid for thinking something like that but Lucifer was an unpredictable one. He just couldn't tell what would be his next move, even if he said he wanted him.

Castiel felt an arm getting around him and he was pulled backwards, against Lucifer.

“You have a serious case of abandonment issue” he said, running his other hand through his dark hair. “I'm not going anywhere”

On these words, the dark-haired man left himself put his whole weight on the archangel and take a deep breath. Right, he had him, they had a deal, a common fight, some sort of relationship. They cared about each other... He could trust him. For a few minutes, they just enjoyed the other' presence, letting their body rest from the previous night' activities, when Castiel remembered something.

“Though... You might need to be some where else.”

“What do you mean?”

“Yesterday... The angels that attacked us, they were sent by Metatron. They were five, but we killed only four of them.”

“So you think that-”

“Yes. Now Metatron knows you are here. It will not be long before he take his precautions against you”

He heard a deep sigh behind him. And he could understand. Lucifer didn't feel like moving right now, especially if it was to go and face the scribe. But now, time was running against them and they had no time to waste.

“I guess that I will do with just intimidation then...”

And then he flew away, leaving Castiel into an empty room. It wasn't long before he found the scribe. He didn't move since the last time, but Lucifer noticed something was different. His demons were nowhere to be found. So either they were very good at spying and decided that they would hide even from their lord, or they were dead. The second option became the most probable one when he almost tripped over a corpse. That couldn't obligatory mean that Metatron knew about his return. It was likely, but not obvious. Though he decided that he had no more time to lose.

Lucifer flew inside the abandoned library where the Scribe had taken shelter, or made his HQ. The moment he arrived in the main room, he found the little man with curvy gray hair and blue eyes, looking at him without any surprise. So much for the element of surprise, then.

“Ha, Lucifer. I was wondering when you would finally come.”

“You were expecting me? I'm flattered.”

“Well, you kind of announced yourself, with your little demons. Anyway, what can I do for you?”

“Ho you know what I want, Metatron. Tell me how to open the Gates of Heaven” he ordered, clasping his hands behind his back. “And maybe I'll let you go”

As they spoke, Lucifer left his grace reek around him, just to remind the angel in front of him who he was. Lucifer, second born, the Morning star, bringer of light. The only one that can face Michael. So yeah, he better be obedient, and give him due respect. Especially when he knew what this little bastard did to Castiel to cast the angels out of Heaven. His eyes glowed with a red light.

Metatron raised his hands in front of him and took a few steps backward. “Wait a minute. I know you must be mad for all the years you spent trapped downstairs but... we can come to an agreement.”

“An agreement” the archangel repeated with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes. I can just... let you go back. Open the Gate for you, and you can live home again, peacefully. I would not bother you. Hell, no one would. Isn't it what you want?”

“Well... I have to say, it is tempting...”

Lucifer could picture himself. Finally going back to Heaven, live freely there, without having to fight his brothers and sisters just to live. He could just roam around, visit some private paradises, laugh at how some people have a funny vision of this place. He would go back to the Garden, the Core. Admire the source of all life in Heaven, go back to the throne room, where he could take back power, or have the feeling at least, and get in the room of the Source, where all the angels were powered up. The place the grace was coming and going, shared in all the brethren. It would be good, oh so right. But there was no way he would deal with this pathetic being that was standing in front of him. He would take it, not negotiate it.

Lucifer flew behind Metatron and pushed him against one of the bookshelf, hand on his throat. “...But if you don't give me the counter spell in the next five seconds, I will rip you guts out”

All the confidence in Metatron' expression seemed to just vanish, and even if he didn't really choked under the grip of the archangel, it was some kind of satisfaction to see him at his mercy. So many ideas went through his head, on how to make him pay, how to make him suffer and wish he was dead. But then he noticed that he was trying to speak, and apparently, holding him by the throat prevented the sound from coming out of it. Well, he guessed he needed to talk to give him the spell.

Lucifer let go of him and watched him run his hand on the bruised skin with a shocked expression. What was he expecting from the Devil anyway? That is when, between his broken gasps for air, he said the word, or rather the name “Castiel”. Now that caught his attention.

“What did you just say?”

“I... I said... If you want a culprit, blame Castiel, not me.”

“You really want to die that bad?” Lucifer hissed.

A grin flashed across Metatron' face, and Lucifer decided that he didn't like that. He was the one supposed to grin, not his victim.

“So it was true. You really did take a liking to him” The scribe ventured.

“Maybe, but just tell me in how is this relevant to the counter spell?”

“It's not, because you don't really want the angels back in Heaven, do you?” Since the archangel didn't reply, Metatron laughed a bit before continuing. “I mean, when you think a little about it, they won't forgive him even if he gave them back their wings. Hell, even bringing God back wouldn't do it.”

“Get to your point.”

“Giving back Heaven to the angels will only make them more powerful and dangerous to Castiel.”

“You really think you can manipulate me?” Lucifer asked because really, the thought was hilarious.

“Not manipulate... make things clearer for you. You're already processing” Metatron said, waving his hand at the archangel.

“Right. Enough of this”

This was just getting tiring. He couldn't support more of his whining, really. He rose his hand toward the scribe and focused his grace, ready to smite. Well obviously, he wouldn't really do it, because he still needed him. But he was still playing the card of intimidation.

“His grace!” Metatron shouted, putting his arms in front of his closed eyes. “I can give you back his grace?”

“What?” Lucifer asked, dropping his hand. “What are you talking about? You used it for the spell.”

“Not all of it. Of course” he added, rolling his head “it's not his entire grace, and it won't make him a full angel again, but it's still better than him staying human for the rest of his life. Which would not even be a few decades long.”

“Show it to me”

Right, he was not getting manipulated, remember? But he had to admit that if he could get Castiel' grace back, he wouldn't refuse. It was the first thing on his to-do list and he had no ideas on how to do it, until now. Obviously he would not let the scribe out of his sight. He just needed to see it, and get it back. Castiel couldn't stay human. He didn't belong to this filthy race, he was a superior being. And seeing him as vulnerable and short-lived... No he couldn't let go off this opportunity.

He could see the confident grin on the scribe' face, but he didn't pay any mind. Really, there was no way he could over power the Devil. So he left himself be guided through the library, to a particular book. Metatron just looked at him with an expecting gaze. Right, he could feel it too.

There was something between the pages of this book, powerful, beautiful. And he already felt his own grace calling to it. Lucifer had still no ideas how much the little one influenced on him. He extended his hand to grasp the book and opened it to find a little glass vial, full of a moving and shining energy with blue reflection. It was almost painful to look at it. Grace ripped out of its angel, torn apart, used for a spell. What was left were ruins of a former great power.

But somehow, Lucifer still felt pulled to it. His own grace was reaching to it. Because in his hands was Castiel' grace, not the one of any angel. And looking at it, he knew that it had to be back with the fallen angel, and be restored. It had to be full again. He had to be full again.

He turned around to get back to business with the scribe, but there was no one next to him. Metatron ran away, right under his care. He could hardly believe it, and he was mad. He was furious. He really did trick him to get away, distracting him with something he wanted so much. But he just wasn't done yet. He had to pay, to suffer for playing Castiel. After all, he was the reason his grace was like that.

When his eyes fell once again on the remains of grace in his hands, he told himself that maybe he could wait. He already had what he wanted. His dearest brother could be angel again.


	10. I'm Hurt, Will You Give Me Your Hand

The moment Lucifer came back, Castiel knew something was wrong.

His eyes fell on what the archangel was holding firmly in his grip. Maybe he couldn't see it but he could feel it. Whatever it was it was calling to him. He slowly rose from his sitting position and walked to his older brother.

“What is this?”

“Can't you tell?” Lucifer beamed at him, seeming victorious. And genuinely happy.

Of course Cas could tell... well, he could guess. But couldn't be sure. He didn't expect it anymore. The archangel opened his hand and he could see inside a vial full of bright and pure energy. Very weakened, but still admirable. The moment he laid his eyes on it, he felt the urge to get it back, and as an answer, the energy got agitated in its container.

“You can take it, it's yours”

The words gave Castiel the final push he needed to grasp the bottle and open it. The moment it was free, it flew out of the vial and rushed to him. Before he knew it, the grace was making its way into his mouth, down his throat and he felt his whole being changing. The soreness of his muscles was gone, along with the tiredness he felt on a regular basis. He felt bigger, stronger. The feeling was overwhelming, to the point that he couldn't say anything for a moment.

The whole World shook around him, as such power as an angel' grace was being manipulated. The light bulbs exploded, along with the glass of the windows. Thunder echoed somewhere not far and the shadow of his wings appeared behind him. Burnt and missing the most of their feathers. Broken.

He was an angel again. He still was weak, weaker than his brothers and sisters, but he wasn't human anymore. And suddenly, he wondered if this in-between state was better. He raised his eyes to Lucifer, who stared at him with a pained look.

“So... How do you feel?” The archangel asked with a voice lower than usual.

“How did you get it back? I thought-”

“Turns out there was some left after the spell.”

“So this is it? Metatron told you every thing?”

“Hm, well... not exactly” the archangel said, looking to the side.

“Lucifer, what happened?” He asked, taking a step closer.

“He got away.”

“He what? How could this happen? He can't possibly have beaten you.”

“No! of course not. He just... distracted me” he explained lightly, as if they didn't just lose their target.

“Unbelievable" Castiel sighed and turned away.

He took the time to feel the grace alimenting his body and powers. It wasn't really difficult to understand. He couldn't believe Metatron got away because he got his grace back. He thought they were clear. The priority was to take the angels back to Heaven. His human condition was unimportant. But Lucifer did just as he wanted. He couldn't see what was really important. How was he supposed to trust him blindly?

“Where is he now?”

“No ideas” he shrugged. “I think he might cover his tracks with the warding he's using for the Gate”

The younger angel pinched the bridge of his nose. Now that was just great. They lost him. They lost him just for a selfish purpose. Because of Lucifer. No; because of himself. He trusted the archangel too much. In a way, he knew he mustn't had bad intention. But the consequences were here. Now they were lost, with no leads.

“So what now?”

“Come on, you react as if we lost a battle. Believe me we didn't. Now you can be back in the race. We're going to be twice faster.”

“But it's useless if we don't have any leads” Castiel complained, turning around, when his eyes fell on the other thing Lucifer was holding. It looked very much like something very important, and for a moment he thought that they had the solution in their hands. “Is it-”

“I'm afraid not. This is just the demon tablet. I found it after Metatron ran away. Don't ask me why he had it, I have no ideas”

And there went his hopes. He thought about what they could do next. Because he hadn't time to be mad at the archangel. After all, he only wanted to help him getting stronger, not being vulnerable anymore. It was... from a good intention, he guessed. But he betrayed his trust and now, he really didn't know if he could grant it to him again.

But they had to find a way, and quickly. Before the scribe took measures against them. Castiel knew it was already too late. The moment Metatron had the information on the return of Lucifer, they had lost the big advantage. Before, the archangel could still find and confront him. Not anymore. He just disappeared from the radar.

The fallen angel was shaken out of his thoughts when Lucifer got a little bit closer, clasping his hands on his shoulders to straighten him up and make him look into his eyes of ice.

“Don't worry, we'll find a way. There is nothing I can't do.”

“This is very presumptuous of you. Maybe you forgot that now, Metatron will specifically hide from you. And with all his resources, there is no way you can find him.”

“All right then... he is hiding from me, and you, which means no angels can find him”

At these words, an idea flashed across the younger' mind. If no angel could find him, maybe humans could. Surely the best hunters could track him. But he couldn't ask this of them. How could he tell them all the truth? Tell them he lied to them? Hid Lucifer from them? But in the other hand... he saw it as a way to escape, to finally tell the truth. And now that he got his powers back... he could be useful again.

“What are you thinking about?” Lucifer asked, with a tone of irritation in his voice.

Castiel slowly understood why and with realization came a smile on his face. “You can't read my thoughts anymore...”

“Well I could, if you left me...”

“Good” Castiel left out a light laugh. “I hated it when you read my mind without warning.”

“And now I hate that I can't anymore” Lucifer grumbled.

“But I think I have an idea. If Metatron is hiding from angels... maybe humans could find him.”

“ha” Lucifer said, dropping his hands from Castiel' arms. “Are you sure about that?”

“Yes. I think this is the right thing to do.”

“So you think you can tell them every thing? That it wont fall back on you? Or even on me?”

“What, don't tell me Lucifer is afraid of two humans.”

“No, I'm not. Because I know that you won't let them hunt me”

Lucifer smirked, seeming as confident as always. The fallen angel wasn't sure of what he had to understand from this. But it wasn't untrue. They needed Lucifer, and they made a deal in which he said he wouldn't let the Winchesters throw him back into his Cage. That and... the fact that despite every thing, he still cared a lot about him.

When their eyes met, he guessed that they had an agreement. The moment the possibility became very much more real, he started to feel less confident. He really wasn't sure of how the brothers would react to him revealing the truth. He hid things from them in the past, and it was the worst thing he had to do. Facing their hurtful faces full of betrayal. But it was the only thing he could think of, and this way, he wouldn't have to hide from them anymore.

Castiel took a deep breath before taking his phone out and speed-dialing the number.

“ _Yeah?”_

“Dean. I need to see you.”

“ _Cas? Everything's fine?”_ Dean asked, worried by the stressed tone of his best friend.

“Yes. Well, no. It's...” he sighed. “It's complicated. This is why I need to see you. The sooner the better.”

“ _All right. We're coming back from a hunt, we can swing back on the way home. In about five hours is good?”_

“That's fine. Thank you.”

“ _See you then”_

The fallen angel sighed again and looked at Lucifer who was watching him expectantly. He just nodded, to make him understand they were coming, but he said nothing more before starting to clean to place a little from all the shards of glass lying around.

He wasn't mad, but he didn't forget. The archangel did something he didn't agree on, and that was... hurtful. They didn't say anything, waiting for the brothers to arrive.

Four hours and a half later, Castiel heard the sound of a familiar engine parking, and when he looked over his shoulder, Lucifer was nowhere to be found. He told himself that it was probably for the best, trying not to give the Winchesters a heart attack from the moment they open the door. He thought about what he could tell them, but he could never be ready for this.

He opened the door before they could even knock.

“Hello Dean, Sam.”

“Hey Cas”

He left them in, and his mind raced to know what to do next. Offer them something to eat, drink? Since now he wouldn't need it anymore, he might as well give them every thing he stocked. Or should he start explaining already, starting with his new situation, or maybe the Lucifer issue? He wasn't sure anymore.

“You're much more comfortable than the last time I came” The older brother noticed.

“Yes. Well... I found the means to.”

“Ho yeah, how's work going?” Sam asked.

“About that...” He took a deep breath, knowing it was the moment he started telling everything. “Nora asked me to leave after angels attacked the station.”

“Crap, Cas. Are you alright?” Sam asked, seeming genuinely worried.

It felt good to see the younger brother, even if he wished circumstances were different. He hadn't talked to him as much as he talked to Dean, and it felt good to know that he still cared for his well-being.

He nodded. “I'm fine. I... actually had some help.”

“Help. Against angels?” Dean inquired.

“Yes. He... his help was very useful and I don't think that...” He hesitated, searching for his words. “without him I would be dead. And... he is the one who gave me back my grace. Well part of it. But... his intentions were good...”

“Your grace...?” Sam repeated, truly astonished.

“Okay, well why don't you tell us the name of you savior?” Dean proposed. “He must be pretty amazing for doing all of these things.”

“Yes he is... er... Well..." The angel stuttered, and he hated to appear so unsure of himself. He had to convince the Winchesters that his ally was a good person. "He is powerful. It's... It's Lucifer”

Castiel finally spat the words, feeling already a weight being lifted from his shoulders. He was still afraid of the reaction of the brothers, but at least, he wasn't hiding anything from them anymore. When he looked at their faces, they were just shocked.

“Seriously Cas, Lucifer? Your joke's fucking hilarious.” Dean deadpanned.

“It's not a joke.”

“But... He-he is in the Cage, right?” Sam tried, preferring to find some explanation.

“He was” Cas agreed “But the Fall affected it, and he was free. Then he found me and proposed me a deal. He... he is not the bad guy here. He's changed and didn't hurt anyone since he broke free, I can assure that.”

“I can't believe it” Dean breathed.

There was the sound of wings, and then his voice echoed right behind Cas. “Well I hope this can change your mind”

The fallen angel turned to him with wide eyes. If he really wanted to give them a heart attack, he did the right thing.

“Son of a bitch!” Dean cursed, immediately taking a step back “Cas don't tell me this is really real.”

“I told you, he is not “evil”. Please trust me on this.”

“Man I- No... If I knew this would happen...”

“Let me guess; you would have done things differently?” Lucifer surmised, then turned to the younger brother who was just at loss for words “Hello Sam.”

“We're out of here” Dean declared before starting to go to the door.

At the sight, Castiel felt his heart shatter. He new it would be a lot to ask them to work with one of the responsible of the Apocalypse. But he forgave him. He thought they could do the same. Or he thought that if they couldn't trust Lucifer, they could trust him. He tried one last time to beg them:

“Dean... Sam, please...”

“And you're coming with us. We're not letting you with the Devil”

His eyes flickered between the Winchester brothers at the door, and Lucifer who was just looking at him with questioning eyes. For a moment, he surprised himself to hesitate. He shouldn't. This was the only chance he had to go back with his friends. And maybe they could talk and debate more calmly without the archangel in the same room. Or same state.

The fallen angel just gave the archangel a look that asked not to make things worst, just wait a little bit. It was the first time he hoped Lucifer was reading his thoughts, and left them free of access. Then he walked toward the hunters.

The ride to the bunker was long, so very long. Castiel had time to notice his perception of time was a little different now that he had the rest of his grace back, but it still felt like it lasted to long. No one said a single word, and he could practically feel the betrayal of the brothers. The atmosphere was just heavy, and the music too loud. Its purpose to prevent any talk wasn't hidden very well, but he respected Dean' decision, and he didn't spoke a word.

When they finally arrived, that the impala was parked in the garage and they were in the map room, the tension didn't fell down. Dean just went somewhere and Sam didn't stop giving him looks that didn't quite fit him, that didn't quite looked like him. But maybe it was nothing. He wasn't yet adjusted to his in-between situation, not angel, nor human.

Few minutes later, the older brother came back with a pack of beer, took one for himself and left himself fall in one of the chairs. Cas followed him and sat down. The hunter drank a few sips of his beer before finally breaking the silence.

“Alright. What the hell Cas?!”

“Hum... I...”

“Really, making a deal with freaking Satan? What, Crowley wasn't enough for you last time?”

The fallen angel tried to say something but he felt just swallowed by his guilt. Right, he knew his partnership with Crowley would come back to him eventually. But it wasn't the same, even if he couldn't tell why. His eyes just betrayed his lost and desperation.

Hopefully, Sam came to help him, taking a beer for him too. "Look, we just want to understand. Because right now, it doesn't seem really... hum...”

“Stupid. It just seems stupid, and suicidal” Interrupted the older brother.

“I know how it must seem... But I can assure you that Lucifer is trustworthy. As I told you before, he saved my life many times and even helped me get back my grace. And we made a deal. He won't hurt anyone, and he will help clean the Earth from the angels.”

“That's nice. In theory.” Dean insisted on the theory part.

“Not just in theory. He found Metatron, and was close to find a way the reopen the Gates to Heaven. But now he is hiding from us and I... I need your help to find him again.”

“Whoa. Your partnership with Lucifer didn't work out” Dean fumed “How surprising.”

“Dean...” Cas pleaded “I don't want to fight with you.”

“I know... It's just...” Suddenly, the hunter' tone became softer “If I knew...”

He didn't have to say much more, Cas understood. He had the bad habit of taking the blame for everything, and he was already beating himself up for chasing him from the bunker. If he knew his best friend would be so lost, to the point of following Satan, he would have left him stay. But he saw his gaze flickering to Sam and he understood.

“Could you... maybe... give him a chance? He is a big asset you know, being an archangel and all”

Once again, the brothers exchanged a look, but this time it looked more familiar to him. It was just like when they had these silent discussions. Cas just waited for them to decide of something.

Finally, Sam took a seat and sighed. “We can't trust him. And with all the tablet problems... We have Kevin, a prophet to keep safe here. We can't just bring him Lucifer.”

“Yes, the tablet” He remembered “Lucifer got the demon tablet back from Metatron. We can surely use it for later use.”

“He has a tablet?”

“yes.”

“Then how do you know this is not what he wants?” Questioned Sam. “Maybe all he wanted was an access to the bunker.”

“No I don't think so. He just got the tablet back and... I trust him.”

“Yeah but... I don't know man. Trusting Lucifer? With all the things he's done?”

“Damn it! this is not-”

The fallen angel rose his voice but quickly stopped himself from saying too much. The doubtful tone of Dean just made him upset. He knew that anyone deserved forgiveness if they did enough to try to make things right. It was the case of Lucifer. But the worst part was the disbelief of the Winchesters.

“It's just-... I wish you gave me a little more credit than that”

Silence fell on them again, and Cas could clearly see that they didn't know what to do anymore. But he knew he hadn't made his point yet. He had to show them that the archangel would not go on another Apocalypse when they turn their back.

“You could maybe just give him one chance. Just to try. Then you will see he can help. And... if he does something wrong... I will break our deal and help you find a way to lock him back again”

These words felt like fire on his tongue and acid in his throat. He didn't want this, and really hoped they would not come to this. But he believed. They would not have to come to this, he was confident.

“I guess... We could try” Sam ventured.

“Seriously?” Dean looked at him with a raised eyebrow, but all he got was a shrug. “Fine” He consented “But at the first wrong step, I shoot him down”

He warned before drinking down all of his beer can. He would need this. Cas, on the other hand, felt relieved. They were trusting him, and he wasn't going to disappoint them. Neither would Lucifer. They could finally work together. It could only be the best.

“Well, I'm glad things are settled” Came a voice Cas knew too well.

“What the-”

Both brothers almost fell from their seats. The fallen angel turned around and he could understand them. It is not a common thing to see the Devil appear in your house without warning. Himself needed time to get used to it. But knowing they considered him as their enemy, he could understand it was frightening. Lucifer was just standing here, leaning back against the threefold, arm crossed and showing his usual smirk.

Cas sighed. “Lucifer... You really think this is a good thing to spy on us when I want you to keep low profile?”

“I wasn't spying. I just felt you calling to me so I came.”

“Well that's just great” Dean grumbled, feeling very nervous suddenly.

And he had many reasons to, Lucifer thought. They didn't even had time to prepare the bunker, they had no way to defend themselves against him. As if they could find anything anyway.

Lucifer' eyes fell on the figure of his true vessel, but what he could see was not him. There was something off. A foreign energy inside him, making itself at home. And it was frustrating. To know his true vessel, HIS, was being inhabited by something else than him.

“What are you doing here” He spat.

Because behind those hazel eyes he couldn't quite identify the angel who was possessing his true vessel. But it wasn't a reason for he showed him no respect or fear. Though it surprised him when what he got as an answer was a confused look from the Winchester boy and suddenly, the angel inside him was hiding.

He took two more steps toward Sam and hissed. “Ho you can hide, but it won't stop me from smiting you if you don't leave him alone in the next five seconds.”

“Lucifer what the actual fuck?!”

A hand was on his arm and when he turned around, he could see the panicked and hurt look of Castiel. The fallen angel blurted “What has gotten into you? I won't let you threaten Sam like that. I thought that, at least, I could trust you on this!”

“What? I'm not talking to Sam. Don't tell me you can't see it!”

“Wow wow!” Interrupted the dumber Winchester “Erm... Lucifer, can I talk to you for a second?”

The archangel thought he didn't heard well, but Dean seemed to wait for something from him. From there, it wasn't very difficult to understand what was happening. The Winchesters and their secrets. He accepted and followed him in the next room, under the confused gazes of Castiel and Sam.

When he was sure they couldn't hear their discussion, he began. “Really Dean, I never thought you would sell your brother to an angel. Your stupidity never cease to amaze me. But I'm disappointed. If I knew he was available, I would have come sooner.”

“Ho shut up” the hunter growled “this is not by choice. I need this angel to heal Sam from the inside.”

“And he doesn't even know it, does he?” When he had no answers, he knew he was right “Now you deserve a medal.”

“It's temporary, okay?! But in the meantime, he mustn't know or he will kick him out and would only get worst. Now you stay away from him. It already freaked him out to be near Cas, so I can't imagine with you... I need to convince him to stay.”

“Dean Dean Dean” Lucifer sighed as things became clearer in his mind “there were so many better options. He is the one that made you abandon Castiel, right?”

The older Winchester actually flinched at his words. Flinched. Maybe he didn't like the word “abandon”, but it was exactly what he did. And it wrecked the fallen angel. He was in a pitiful state when he found him. Knowing now why he was left alone made his grace burn even colder.

“I will smite him” Lucifer hissed. “Now or later, but I assure you I will.”

“What? Why would you care?” Dean frowned.

“Maybe you don't need to know. But if it's not him I smite, it will be you.”

“Lucifer, please, don't”

Lucifer turned around at the sound of the voice he knew was Castiel'. He was looking uncomfortable. The archangel knew he didn't hear their conversation. He probably just came to check if they didn't murder each other because he couldn't hear anything from the map room. But he still couldn't read past this intent look.

“I don't understand...” The archangel said, confused “It would only be justice for what he put you through.”

“There is nothing to talk about” Castiel replied with a harsh tone, irritated. He was definitely sensitive on this topic.

“Your decision” Lucifer shrugged “But I still don't get why you would forgive them that easily”

Though the look that Dean had in his eyes was satisfying. At least he had the decency to feel guilt and regret. But it seemed to hurt the angel, who didn't say anything and just turned around to leave.

When he was gone, the hunter spoke again. “He mustn't know. If you have just a little bit of care for-”

“Do we have a deal here?” Lucifer proposed, turning to face Dean once again with a smirk. And he could see that it made the human very uncomfortable. “Let's say... My silence for your approbation of me.”

“What? Come on, you really expect me to accept this deal?”

Lucifer shrugged “You left an angel you don't know inside your precious brother, and kicked out your “best friend” just because he asked you. I think making a deal with me is quite in your range of action. But fine, if you don't want... I can still go and smite the one that-”

“Wait no!” Dean panicked.

The archangel stopped in his tracks to the map room and looked at the Winchester with expectation. He could see him literally curse himself for being so stupid but he had no other choices. He couldn't let Lucifer ruin Sam' chances to get better.

“Alright... I... try to trust you, and you leave Sam alone.”

“You don't try anything against me?”

“..... Fine!” He consented.

“Fine by me”

With a wide grin, Lucifer extended his hand in front of him, waiting for the human to take it. After many thoughtful seconds, he finally grasped it. Dean putted more strength than necessary in the handshake, cursed out loud this time, and got away.

Lucifer was satisfied. One less thing to worry about. Surely the little one would be pleased to hear about that. To know that his friends would finally work with him and not against him.

Even if... maybe he wouldn't be to happy about the deal part. But it was necessary. And what could possibly be a better proof of his good will than an honest deal?

Lucifer couldn't care less about the Winchester' opinion of him but if it would ease Castiel' worries, why the Hell not?


	11. Life Runs too Fast

Powerless. This is exactly how Dean felt. How he WAS.

Lucifer held him a leash with his stupid deal. But he really didn't have any other choices. If Zeke left Sam, he would die. He said it himself. So now he had to agree with their... partnership with Satan. The good part was that Lucifer would stay away from Sam.

“Hey” His brother greeted, entering the kitchen. He went to prepare himself some tea for his breakfast. Thing Dean thought was utterly disgusting. He waited for him to come seat at the table with him.

“You okay Sammy?”

“You mean apart the constant feeling of dread hanging in the bunker due to the presence of Lucifer?”

“Yeah... But how do you feel, you?”

Sam rose an eyebrow, visibly not understanding the whole meaning of his question. He hesitated.

“er... fine”

But it was enough to reassure Dean on whom he was talking to. It was definitely his little brother.

Another good point in letting Lucifer stay in the bunker with them was that now, Zeke was hiding far deep in Sam' mind. The angel seemed terrified of the archangel and well, he was right to. Lucifer seemed mad to see that some other angel was wearing Sam in his place. Though he would never thank him for that. It was a proof that he still considered him as his true vessel.

“So, er...” Sam started “You are really sure about this whole...?”

“No” The older brother sighed, knowing exactly were their discussion was going. The exact same matter as the last day, and every freaking discussion they could have privately. “But we don't really have a choice. And I guess, for the moment, he didn't do anything shady.”

“Aw... your trust in me is heartwarming”

Dean didn't even had to rise his eyes from his mug of coffee to see the cocking smile Lucifer was wearing from the counter, where was laying the coffee pot. He hated this. The archangel just flew everywhere in the bunker and they had no way to tell where he was. Seeing the look Sam was giving him made him turn nonetheless. Lucifer was actually preparing coffee in their kitchen, _humming_.

“You look happier than usual” The hunter noticed “That can't mean anything good. What is happening?”

“I'm afraid this is a private matter. And I highly doubt you care anyway” Suddenly he rose his head from his occupation, as if thinking about something “though afterthought... maybe you do...”

The smirk he addressed him made him very nervous, and he was about to ask for precision when Cas decided to show up, with sleepy eyes and bed hair. Definitely half asleep. The sight made his heart clench a bit. He wasn't supposed to need sleep. Didn't he got his grace back?

“Good morning” The angel mumbled with a grave-deep voice.

“Right on time” Said Lucifer, handing him the coffee he just made. For a fraction of time, Cas flinched away from him “Come on Castiel. Don't tell me you're still mad.”

“I'm not mad” He protested, and to support his words he took the mug the archangel was handing him “I'm just not forgetting”

On his side, Dean had the feeling there was a whole unspoken discussion going between the two angels. And knowing celestial beings, it wasn't impossible. Cas just sat at the table and silently sipped his coffee while Lucifer was staring at him, like trying to solve that big mystery he was. Dean couldn't hold a snort. Good luck on that. He's been trying for five years now.

Suddenly, they heard someone clear their throat. He understood it was Sam when he cleaned his mug and turned back to the three of them, raising his eyebrows “I guess I'll start the researches then”.

He stayed a few seconds, as if waiting for something. But he gave up rather quickly and just left with a deep sigh.

“I would help him” Lucifer proposed “But...”

“Right” Replied Dean and Cas at the same time.

Dean' eyes fell on his empty mug. Then... he supposed he had to go help him. The truth was that he expected some time with Cas to talk, truly. They didn't have time to talk about what happened and he felt like they needed to. To know his best friend was lost to the point he made a deal with Satan... Well, he did made a deal too. But it was to protect Sam. Nor relevant.

This discussion would have to wait then. He rose from his seat and joined Sam to look for a way to find Metatron.

A few moments later, the four of them were gathered in the main room, books scattered across the table, looking for clues in a dead silence. Dean wasn't the most focused of them but he wasn't the most distracted either. Lucifer was walking in front of the shelves with the books, looking distantly at them. So he wasn't even helping. Why did they have to bear his presence again?

After not even ten minutes, he sighed deeply and turned to the team free will, still studying at the table. “Alright now this is just boring and useless.”

“I'm listening to your plan to find Metatron and the Gate” Replied Cas without even looking at him.

“You know what I mean. I need something to do, some action. I could ask some of my abominations for information.”

“Great, you do that” Dean agreed.

At least he would be not here, with them. Far from the bunker, far from Sam.

Then he heard nothing. He rose his head from the book he was reading, to check if the archangel was already gone. He was still here, looking at Cas with attention.

“Cas? You don't want to come with me?”

“That's... er...” The angel looked at Lucifer in return “I don't think that would be wise”

First, Lucifer just rose his eyebrow, just like Dean and Sam, but then a wide grin spread on his lips and it was just worrying. An unreadable grin, it was definitely nothing to like, and surely not when he was still looking that intently into Cas' blue eyes. And when the angel seemed embarrassed.

“You sure you don't want to watch over him?” Dean broke the silence.

“Yeah, come with me to... watch over me” Lucifer insisted, still with his smile.

“Do I need to.”

It wasn't even a question from Cas. It felt more like a warning. After all, Lucifer did ask for surveillance, which mean it was in case he did something they could regret. He just supposed he could do something wrong and Cas just proposed him to stop his shit.

“I guess not” were the last words Lucifer said before he flew.

Though the tension did not fall. There was an awkward feeling hanging above their heads, almost unbearable. So he decided to break the silence. “Wow.... you really do trust him.”

“I believe I told you so.”

“Yeah, I know. He saved your life and all. But I don't have to remind you he ended it once? And killed thousands of people and started the Apocalypse and is actually the freaking Devil? Sorry but that seems a little light as an argument.”

There was the sound of a deep sigh and a book being suddenly closed and thrown on the table. Taking this as his cue, Sam got up from his seat and said “I'm gonna check on Kevin” before leaving the room, carried rapidly away with his giant legs.

Dean treated him of a coward internally. He perfectly knew this was just a pretext to run away from the fight that was going to happen. Sure, the prophet was confined in the deepest part of the bunker to keep him away from Lucifer, but he was surely doing just fine, if not a little bit pissed for being kept apart.

When he was done thinking about how his brother abandoned him, Dean turned back to two deep blue eyes that were burning holes through his skin.

“Look. All I'm sayin' is” He tried to justify himself “Don't you think he could not be completely honest?”

“Obviously. I'm not an idiot, Dean” Cas replied with a cold tone, visibly frustrated “But I trust him nonetheless.”

“Right, I heard you the five first times. But you agree with me so you can understand that I don't get why.”

“It's just-”

For a minute, the angel kept silence, searching for his words. So it was complex. Nothing surprising. How to explain that you trust the Devil for good reason?

He looked to the side, and finally explained. “I think him and I... we can understand each other.”

“Yeah I don't follow you on this.”

“I don't know” He sighed “A wayward angel that disagreed with Heaven' commands and rebelled, that for it was banished and suffered a Fall that changed him forever and made him Heaven' most wanted and the angels' most hated. Can't you see some sort of pattern here?”

“What? No! You're nothing like Lucifer” Dean protested “How can you say that?”

“Because I'm tired of denying the truth. Lucifer and I are the same, and it has been proven during the time we shared together. I know for certain that only we can truly and thoroughly understand each other" Cas thought for a second. "Well... at least I think so.”

“I'm gonna stop you right here because I feel like the next thing you're gonna say is that Lucifer's your best friend” Dean half joked. But the dead serious look he got from Cas just made him fear he might be on something. “Wait, don't tell me-”

“Of course not” The angel interrupted him, because this was just ridiculous. “It's just... we have each other' back.”

“Tch, right” Dean snorted. “You know Lucifer is all about manipulation. It's just impossible to trust him.”

“You say that because you don't know him.”

“Ho come on! He just sticks around because you made a deal with him. How it that trustworthy?!”

“But we are beyond that now! Why can't you just understand?” Cas asked, and the Winchester could swear he saw genuine hurt in his eyes. “I mean... I didn't expect you to trust him, even less forgive him. But I was, maybe stupidly, believing you would understand” Cas then sighed deeply “But I guess I was wrong. Are you not ready to just make this tiny effort for me?”

At this point, Dean was literally drowning in confusion. When he wanted to talk about his friend' problem and take him off his blind trust of Lucifer, he was the one questioned. And worst, the one doubting. And since he didn't gave an answer, Cas just sighed once more and left without a word. The hunter couldn't help but think he was missing something, and that disturbed him to the deepest of his guts.

 

Things didn't get better with time. Days passed and it seemed like Cas was still mad at Dean, for some reasons. He only told him the truth. But he thought things weren't so bad apart from that. He preferred to have his best friend pissed at him rather than out alone in the World and human because he had to kick him out.

Other than that, Lucifer didn't stick around very often. He just pretended that looking through books was dead boring and that he already had all the knowledge they held in his mind. So most of the time, he was out looking for the Gate by himself. And thank to that Dean rarely saw him.

One night, when he couldn't sleep and decided to get up to drink to pass out, he heard noises coming from the kitchen. So someone was up. He just hoped it wouldn't be Lucifer. But then he heard a thud and short respiration. That didn't seem good at all.

Especially not when he heard the quiet voice of Cas stuttering. “L-Lucifer stop it. What are... what are you even trying to do?"

"Look me in the eyes and tell me you want, actually want me to stop” It was followed by silence and Dean could practically hear the archangel smirk. “Then I won't stop."

The hunter didn't know what it was about but it was certainly nothing good. The weak tone of Cas, the confidence that meant nothing good of Lucifer... It just worried him and he was already imagining the worst scenarios. Dean almost ran into the kitchen, hand on his gun, but he almost dropped it when he saw what was really happening.

Okay so he never could have guessed that.

“What the Hell??” Was all his mouth could articulate from his shock.

Right before his eyes was his best friend, the angel of the lord Castiel, wrapped around the Devil. Devil who was pressing against him, hands grabbing his ass and kissing him.

From where he was, Dean could perfectly see that they were both very excited to be with each other in such a way. He wasn't sure if he had to laugh, cry or throw up. But at least, Cas had the decency to be startled by Dean' appearance.

“DEA-Aahn... Dean!” The angel screamed, putting his hands on Lucifer' shoulders to push him away.

But the son of a bitch was still holding him, looking the hunter in the eyes with a wide grin. “What, you want to join?”

He felt a rush of blood in all his body and he wasn't sure if that was rage or embarrassment or-

But it was all he could take. He stormed out of the kitchen and locked himself in his room. It couldn't be very efficient against beings who could fly, but it was a comforting gesture, to think he was safe and alone behind his bedroom door.

 

“Dean?”

He heard a soft knock on his door and a low voice that pulled him out of his sleep. Sleep? He didn't even noticed he had fallen asleep.

He groaned loudly, trying to wake up or make the angel that stood outside the room go away. Right, because he immediately knew it was Cas checking on him. He could recognize his deep gravel voice in any circumstances. Even more now that he heard how he sounded when-

Dean slapped himself to wake him up and stop him from thinking too much about what he saw the previous night. He had enough time to think about it before, it was far enough. Now what he had to do was talk about it with Cas. Because it just couldn't be right. He could not have sex with Lucifer.

He heard another two knocks on the door and then the worried voice of his best friend. “Dean... Are you alright?... If you are mad because of what you walked into last night I would like to-”

On these, words, the hunter jumped off his bed and rushed to open the door. “Dude. We are not having this conversation in the freaking corridor. And not when I just woke up.”

“Hm... Alright, I... understand” And... Fuck. Cas was looking to the side, blushing.

“We are having it though. Just not before my dose of coffee.”

Cas stayed silent the time they got to the kitchen, prepared some coffee, sat at the table both with their own bowl and Dean finished his own. When he finally dared to look up, he met two expecting blue eyes and noticed that Cas didn't even started his drink. Right, so that would be awkward.

He rose from his seat and went to the sink to wash his empty bowl. Surely that would be easier without having to look him in the eyes. He cleared his throat before finally asking. "So. What the Hell with Lucifer?”

“Well, as I told you before...” Cas inhaled “I understood that he was reliable, in some way, and actually caring and with time we grew closer and-”

“Woa, dude!” Dean almost dropped the bowl on the counter. “I'm not asking... that. What I mean is... how? Why? He is Lucifer.”

“I...” Cas Frowned “I'm not sure I understand your interrogations.”

The hunter sighed, left the dish to dry and turned around to face his friend. “What. The actual Devil responsible for the Apocalypse, thousands of dead, including you and suddenly when he come back, none of that matters and you jump into his arms. Doesn't that sound a bit weird to you? Because to me it sounds like manipulation.”

“You really think this is-” The angel rose from his seat, seeming deeply confused. “Dean, he is not manipulating me. This is just-”

“Yeah, that's what you say. Sorry if I'm suspicious but that's exactly what someone brainwashed would say.”

“I'm not brainwashed.”

“He's got you by the balls, Cas! Literally!”

“This is ridiculous. I was created a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent” He took a few steps to Dean. “I do not get controlled by carnal desire.”

“He's right. He doesn't.”

Obviously that was the time Lucifer decided to show up. Arms crossed on his chest, bearing his usual grin and standing a little bit too close to Cas. Dean was noticing now, since his scheme became more clear. Now that he couldn't take his brother, he wanted to take his best friend. But doing it this way it was just... not cool.

The hunter could already feel his cheeks getting warmer, just by thinking of what they could have done when they were just the two of them. It was unacceptable but he just couldn't stop his mind from creating scenes with his best friend closer to the Devil than himself could ever wish.

Dean took two steps forward and grabbed Cas by the arm to put him behind him. He felt the need to keep them away.

“You stay the fuck away from him!” He warned Lucifer.

At least, it seemed like it had some effect on the archangel, because he straightened his stance and uncrossed his arms. “Dean Winchester... Do you consider it part of our deal?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Wha- No! No more deal related stuff.”

“Ho, good...” Lucifer smiled. “Because it would be kind of too late. And I would never do that. You can bargain anything but that”

Behind him, Cas actually stiffened. Maybe touched by his words or whatever. That was even more suspicious because he usually wasn't like that. And Dean knew better. After all, the angel was his best leverage on this World and on the Winchesters. That was the only reason why Lucifer could seem kind of... attached.

“Oh maybe it's not in a deal, but you will stay away from him.”

“Will I, you petty, insignificant human.”

And wow. Right. The Devil was suddenly very intimidating. Apparently, that was not a matter of discussion.

Then he felt something slip from his grip and he turned to Cas, who looked annoyed at both of them.

“Hm... If I may, I'm not some sort of merchandise you can debate on. Thank you very much. And what is this thing about a “deal”?” He then turned to the hunter with concerned eyes. “Dean, did you made a deal with Lucifer?”

“Well... I, um...”

“He did” Lucifer answered for him. “But don't worry, it's nothing fishy. I didn't trick him into giving me his soul. That would have been easy as pie, but I didn't.”

“You say it like it's something to be proud of” Dean mumbled.

“What could you possibly bargain with each other?”

“I just made him stay away from Sam, Okay? It's no big deal.”

“Right... so you made a deal to protect the ones you care about” The hunter didn't replied, understanding what was the point of his friend. “How can you blame me for doing the exact same thing then?”

“This isn't the same.”

“Oh, and how?” Cas rose an eyebrow, very not convinced.

“Because I'm not sluting around with Lucifer!”

He should have learned when to shut up, because as soon as the words escaped his mouth, Dean regretted them. He saw the angel widen his eyes and open his mouth to say something back, but then he just shut it and looked to the side, defeated.

Then he exhaled and without saying a single words, he walked out.

Why, but why in Hell did he have to say that? Why was it the first argument that came through his mind? Why was it their relation that bothered him the most in all this mess?

“Classy”

Dean really wished looks could kill at this moment, because things were shity enough without Lucifer' snarly comments. But all he got for his glare was a shrug.

The second after, he was left alone in the kitchen.


	12. Don't Deny my Demand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone,  
> This chapter is longer than usual because a lot of important things happen.  
> Destiel intensifies, important progress in the plot and mostly drama.  
> Hope you enjoy ;)

No progress was made, at all.

Two weeks went by and all their collaboration with the Winchesters brought them was a terrible mood from Castiel. Lucifer knew it wasn't the best idea to bring them in the equation. Though maybe the worst idea was to reveal their relationship. It was from the night Dean walked into them that Castiel' mood started to go down. But he didn't regret a thing. He preferred things to be clear on how close the both of them were.

Lucifer didn't like at all the way it affected the angel, but he knew it was because he was still weak. If he was a full-powered angel, he wouldn't be so... emotional. He definitely had to find a way to make him whole again. And for that he had to find Metatron and the Gate. So, researches it was.

He went to the room where the brothers used to study early enough in the morning to be sure he wouldn't be bothered by anyone.

He was a little bit surprised to find Sam Winchester, already working. The little brother was so dedicated, sometime it was touching. So, he didn't want to break his deal with the big brother, but on the other hand he wanted things to move forward. His part was to leave Sam alone, right? Well with this angel inside him, he was never really alone. But for some reason, he stood there, debating if he could play with the words or be a nice archangel.

“What's the hold up?” Sam suddenly asked without tearing his eyes off the book he was reading.

Lucifer just smiled. Then it wouldn't be his fault if it was Sam that invited him on his company. He entered the room and took a seat, but he tried to be legit and took the one opposite of the hunter'.

“Good morning Sam.”

“Hey” He saluted, before raising his eyes from his book. “You think you could tell me what is going on?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean there is something happening here, with everyone. And it seems like I'm the only one that is completely oblivious.”

“And you expect me to tell you?”

Sam Shrugged. “You told me once that you would never lie or trick me.”

“I did” Lucifer acknowledged “Then I suppose I can bottom-line it for you: Your brother thinks I am manipulating Castiel to do whatever I want, so he is angry and keeps me away from you to protect you, while Cassie is ashamed and disappointed. And I'm just here, trying to enjoy my freedom.”

“He-” Sam put his book on the table. “He actually managed to make you do something?”

"We made a deal” Lucifer nodded.

“You made a deal?” He repeated, furrowing his brows. “So now you-”

“No, no, I didn't touch his soul. Why does everyone thinks I need souls?"

He was interrupted by the entrance of yet someone else. Castiel just came in and it seemed that he was better than before. Lucifer liked to think it was thanks to him and what he did the night before, but he couldn't ignore the fact that it was probably because he didn't need sleep anymore. It could still be a little bit thanks to him.

“Good morning” Cas saluted “Sam, I didn't expect to see you up so soon.”

“Couldn't sleep” Sam replied with an apologetic smile, as if he had something to be blamed for.

Cas just nodded. So apparently it was something usual for him, or maybe for both of the brothers. Then the angel looked at him with a look that was... he would have said thankful but he had no ideas why he would be. Well, maybe because he kept his part of the deal but at this point, it really wasn't a bother for him. He just enjoyed his time there.

"I'm just going to make myself some coffee and then I will be able to help you with the researches”

Lucifer watched him go with a smile stuck on his lips. He thought it was funny the way the angel didn't need this drink in a physical level, but seemed to care about his morning cup anyway. As if waking up beside the Morning Star wasn't enough.

When he turned around he saw Sam with wide eyes, his gaze flickering between him and the place where stood Castiel. He seemed just like he had been stuck by lightning. Lucifer just rose an eyebrow and gave him a questioning look.

“You are... You two are...”

Ho, that's when he understood. Right, the little brother didn't know. Well now he did. But still, Lucifer was kind of amazed he figured without any further display of their bond. The older definitely needed some explicit image, but Sam didn't. The archangel wondered what made him understand though, because he didn't do anything out of ordinary. He guessed Sam knew him just like he knew the hunter.

“Yeah, occasionally. That's the main part that made your brother think I was controlling his angel” He snorted, because even him thought it was ridiculous. Not his. “But really, it's just because I'm irresistible.”

“Only occasionally?” Sam asked, seeming worried.

“What are you worrying about? There's nothing to fear, I'm not going to break your friend. It's the opposite of that. I'm trying to fix him”

Lucifer smiled, trying to be convincing. He was only saying the truth and he wanted to be trusted by Sam. Even if he didn't need him anymore, he still cared about the tall human. They were created for each other after all.

“Really? So... you're happy together?”

Lucifer was taken aback by the question. He honestly couldn't tell. Sam asked some weird questions. Happiness was something difficult to understand for an angel. They weren't made to feel thing, even if, eventually, they started to. But if Castiel made him happy, or if he made the little one happy, it was hard to know. One thing was sure though: he enjoyed the time they spent together and finally earning his affection felt very satisfying. This time on Earth may be the most fun he ever had.

Though he didn't have much time to think about it. Castiel came back inside the room, mug of coffee in hand. He immediately sat and started to look through books again. Back to business then. Lucifer tried to stay professional and search with them.

But it didn't matter which book he picked up, all the words that were inside, he knew them already. He used to know every way to heaven, every corners of the place, and he was pleased to see that his banishment to the Cage didn't altered his memories. Still, they were useless. All the solutions he knew failed. How was he supposed to fully heal Castiel if he couldn't return to Heaven?

After about three hours, the older brother came to join them. He didn't say a word and the tension was very thick, but at least he was here and sometimes, he even opened his mouth. Seemed like his pride healed with time. And time only, he hoped. Anyway, time flew and they were still stuck without solutions. And Lucifer could see that Cas was becoming more and more uncomfortable as Dean lost his patience. And, well... he wouldn't be himself if he didn't tease him a bit. Just to make him clearly understand that this angel was not his angel.

So he moved his chair closer to Castiel' and he put his arm over the angel' shoulders, leaning to see what he was reading. It was a simply boring text in a forgotten language that explained what exactly was Heaven. It wasn't very important if he distracted him then.

“I think you're just wasting your time, trying to find a solution in this thing”

Castiel rose his eyes from his book to look at him and only that, he considered a victory. “I suppose you already know what's in it.”

“I do.”

“Alright, then...” The angel sighed and closed the book. He looked at the other books in the library, ready to rise from his seat and go take another one, but Lucifer' arm around his shoulders stopped him.

“You know the solutions are not in books.”

“Then what do you suggest?”

“Take a break, just the time to find another way.”

“Now, this is just a waste of time. And you know we don't have much.”

“But I know a pretty good way to spend our time together” Lucifer grinned and leaned even closer to whisper into Cas' ear. “Maybe this time I could bottom for you.”

When he leaned back in his seat, he could perfectly see the red color on the angel' cheek. He looked at him with wide eyes and was at loss for words, obviously shocked. But not mad. Maybe he triggered something within him. Lucifer really only meant it to be a tease but if Castiel wanted it, he wouldn't refuse. From the beginning of their relationship, he was always the one in control. But seeing his reaction, he thought a little change wouldn't hurt. He winked to empathize his word.

“You've got to be kidding me”

Lucifer turned around to see the very cold face of Dean Winchester and the disapproving one of Sam. Right, he almost forgot he did this only to piss the hunter. He smirked.

“I never thought you would be such a prude Dean.”

But the older brother just ignored him and turned to the little one. “Cas, can we talk? Privately”

So he wasn't expecting this. Lucifer expected to see some anger, or at least an annoyed face, but all he got was... that.

Castiel straightened up a little bit in his seat and said “Of course” before raising up and following him outside.

So the archangel couldn't hear them, whatever. He didn't really mind. At least he could have some more time with Sam.

 

In the map room, Cas watched his friend fidget a little bit, seeming worried. Well, he knew he was worried, and he hoped he could ease his pains, but he wasn't sure how. He knew though that it must have been the behavior of Lucifer that pushed him to ask to talk privately. He should have said something, but he was too taken by surprise to turn him down. He shouldn't be so distracted.

The angel just waited patiently for Dean to start talking, or rather try to convince him that Lucifer was taking over him and end up being mad.

This is how all of their conversation ended since he saw them, together. And he seemed so angry, he was starting to make him believe it was something wrong. But Cas really couldn't understand why it was such a big problem. Sure, it was Lucifer, but the archangel didn't have only bad intentions. And he had the right to sleep with whoever he wanted.

Though... Lucifer wasn't “whoever”

“Cas...” He rose his eyes to meet Dean' and what he saw there wasn't anger or annoyance. It was more like pain and hurt, and in the end, he wasn't sure he preferred this. “We need you on this. With all your focus, and mind, Lucifer-free”

He marked a pause, debating on how he could put words on his thoughts. It was something very hard to do and he seemed to struggle with so many things at the same time. He ran a hand on his face. “Look, I... I don't know what broke the connection last time you weren't you but... Man, I need you here. The real you... Please...”

It hurt Cas to hear these words. They brought him to a time he didn't want to live again and to think Dean thought they were back down this road... And the hunter seemed truly desperate. He couldn't see him like this. He wished he could say or do something that would make him feel better but he wouldn't lie. Not ever again. Not to him.

“I need you too, Dean. I need your faith in me and Lucifer” Cas continued before Dean had time to reply “I know you can't, because of what he's done to you and Sam and this planet, but I did mistakes too and you forgave me. Now, I know it would be too much to ask you to do the same for him...” He saw in his green eyes that he was completely right. “But I do. And if you believe in me, you will give him this chance?”

At these words, Dean breathed slowly and hung his head. He seemed to regret something, bitterly. But he had nothing to regret. Things were done and that was it. Cas didn't blame him for anything, neither should he.

Then, he rose his eyes again and looked at the angel with so much distress in his eyes, as if he was drowning in a dilemma.

The hunter extended his hands to the angel, as if he was trying to reach for him. He did. He putted his hands on both sides of Cas' face in a very gentle gesture, and dive his eyes in his. But the angel' expression didn't change. Dean' did, wonder adding to hurt.

“What did he do exactly?”

“He never gave up on me.”

“I never did, ever.”

“I know. And I want you to know that nothing changed.”

Dean sighed deeply, his breath tickling Cas' nose. But he didn't pull out. He had the feeling this was very important to fix their relationship.

Dean brought his face closer to rest his forehead on the angel'. They stayed like this for a few seconds, in silence. He wasn't sure why but it felt comforting. It was the closer they've been since they had this fight. It felt like things were starting to be better.

Cas was about to put his hands on Dean' when he spoke again.

“Alright, then...” Dean tapped his right cheek “Let's do this.”

 

Lucifer watched Dean and Castiel return to the library, and things seemed to be better. The tension had left Castiel' shoulders and some of the worry on Dean' face had disappeared. That was probably for the best, tensions in a team just slowed down the work. As for him, he just had a little chat with Sam and he had the feeling that he convinced him that he was on their side.

“Guys, guys!” Sam exclaimed, taping his finger on the text he was reading. “I think I found something.”

“What is it?” Cas asked, walking to him to read the text over his shoulder. A spell to ask for a peak to Heaven, and that, by the way, would localize the only way take a peak: the Gate. “This is good... It might actually work”

Lucifer rose from his seat and took a look at the book their were all reading “Yeah... I already tried that. It didn't work.”

“Well maybe we can try again with the blood of something that isn't actually banished from Heaven.” Sam proposed, not without some hint of sarcasm.

“Ho... right... I..." Lucifer scratched his head. "Well, this is embarrassing. I really never thought about that.”

“This is understandable” Castiel gave him a comforting look. Of course he was understanding why. But it felt so good to have those eyes looking at you like you were something good, like you deserved compassion.

“Great! Then let's just do it” Dean grumbled. “What are we waiting for? The Apocalypse take two?”

Lucifer glared at him, because really, that was unnecessary and not funny. And he was annoyed that this stupid human interrupted the moment he was having with the little one. But Dean returned his look and that's when it hit him. It wasn't pride, it wasn't possessiveness.

It was goddamn jealousy!

Dean didn't get to be jealous: he was the one that through Cassie out in the first place. And ho, he wasn't going to play the card of the Best Friend with him. He was no fool.

But he had no time to settle things even clearer in the hunter' mind. Sam started to enumerate all the things they needed to complete the spell. Lucifer knew them already, and knew the Winchesters already had the majority of the ingredients in their stocks. But there was one thing they didn't have.

“I'm going to get you the bone of a saint in the most holy place. And I'm going with Cas”

Obviously it was only a pretext to have some private time but it didn't matter, as long as they brought back the bone. And it would still be quicker than if they had to take care of it with their humans means. Anyway no one had time to express their opinion. Lucifer took Castiel' hand, looked at Dean and fled with the angel in the catacombs beneath the Vatican.

Castiel was staring at him with a raised eyebrow. “I'm not convicted you needed my assistance to retrieve the bone. After all, you did the ritual once, without anyone' help.”

“You got me” Lucifer grinned “I even took the liberty of flying us farther so we had to walk to get to the place where they keep the corpses of the holy men. I'm unforgivable.”

“Hm... well” He started to walk “I do wonder why you could possibly want that” Castiel tried to suggest, hiding a smile the best he could. And well, the archangel could have jumped on the occasion but his mind was busy with other thoughts.

“Tell me, what do you think of Dean?” He asked, starting to walk after him.

“Oh... erm, well... He's one of the best hunters in the World, and a close friend. I thin-”

“But what about your relationship? Could you see him as a sexual partner?”

“Wha...”

Cas blushed furiously and seemed to have difficulties to form a coherent sentence. So it was Lucifer' turn to feel the flame of jealousy starting inside of him.

“This is nothing like that. Dean is my closest friend but... he wouldn't be...” He then suddenly stopped and turned to him. “Why would I want that when I have you?”

Lucifer still felt some doubt, even if Castiel' words started a whole new fire in him.

Seeming to notice, the angel came closer and grabbed his collar before kissing him. And there went his jealousy, eaten by Castiel' kisses.

Right. Lucifer had nothing to worry about, it was just stupid. If the little one liked him, there was no way he could like this mud monkey. And by the way he was kissing him, well... there was no doubts he did.

He pulled a little bit away just to talk. “Well... I guess we could take a break. We're very close to our destination and... I have a proposition I need to fulfill.”

“Hm... I'd like that...”

They kiss again, more passionately, and this time Lucifer returns the kiss, but he lets Cas lead the way.

 

When they returned, slightly disheveled, they received judgmental looks from the hunters. But it didn't matter. They had the bone and could perform the ritual.

Sam did it, and as always, his pronunciation was almost as perfect as Lucifer'. It didn't took long before they got a location. Some sort of playground. That was weird but anyway. Now, the archangel could finally do what he wanted to do.

“Well finally! It took long enough...” And without wasting any more seconds, he flew.

“Wha-Lucifer! Wait!”

Cas reached to him him, a little bit worried by the look the archangel had on his eyes before he took off. They weren't eyes of someone about to do something innocent. He managed to create contact just in time, and felt himself being swallowed inside the different place of existence, without any control of his landing. It felt just as pleasant as being banished with a sigil.

“Hey no!” Dean shouted. “Come back you sons of bitches!!” He turned to Sam with an exasperated look on his face.

The taller one just rose his hands, in surrender and declared “Guess we drive.”

 

When Castiel was thrown onto the playground, he found Lucifer handling Metatron against a tree. The archangel didn't even have to turn to him.

“Right on time, Cassie. What do you think: I destroy him now or make him suffer? Your call.”

“That won't be necessary Lucifer... We need him to reopen the Gates.”

“Yes! Yes you need me for that.” Metatron whimpered. “I can reopen Heaven but you have to let me live.”

“Ho stop whining...” Lucifer sighed before he put his hand on the scribe' forehead.

Cas had just the time to feel all his blood turn cold.

“Lucifer! NO!!”

He couldn't reach him before Metatron' grace burned out, in a very painful way. His screams were barely human and if he didn't have some of his grace back, the angel thought his ears and brain could have imploded. He ran to them anyway.

“Now, that is settled” Lucifer declared before turning to Cas. “Hey, what's with the long face? We got the bad guy!”

“You weren't supposed to kill him” He said, staring at Metatron' empty vessel “How are we going to reopen the Gates now?”

“Don't worry about that.”

Lucifer dismissed with a movement of his hand and walked toward the sandbox, where he knelt and started to draw symbols. Cas came next to him and watched him, wondering what he was doing. When the archangel got back on his feet, took a few steps backward and started to chant a spell. The symbols lit up and soon, a Door to Heaven opened before them.

“T-this is...?”

“Home” Lucifer whispered. He turned to Castiel and offered his hand. “Come with me”

They stepped together in the light, and were transported into Paradise. They landed into the core, because that's where Lucifer wanted to be. The Garden, the center. The place from where they could go anywhere. Without letting go of Castiel' hand, he led them into the most important room. The Source, where Heaven took its power, along with the angels.

“Lucifer what are you doing?” Castiel asked, because he didn't know about this place and even if he trusted the archangel, he didn't like to be lead into the unknown.

“I'm making you whole again” And when he turned to him, he had this smile on his face. A genuine smile, of pure happiness. He was finally here, with Castiel. He could make him whole again and then, they could just stay together. He would not be weak anymore, he wouldn't have to fear anything. Just be the invulnerable Seraph he once was.

To the dumbfounded face Castiel made, he just laughed. It was true that no one was supposed to go inside this room. But he didn't really conform to the rules and was too curious to let this part of Heaven unexplored. As any other rooms, the walls, floor and ceiling were white, a white so pure it seemed that the room was infinite. And well, it wasn't untrue.

In the center of the room, there was what seemed like a waterfall that seemed to come out of nowhere. But it wasn't made of water. It was made of pure celestial energy. Under it there was the receiving part, that stocked or distributed the energy. A simple mind would have said that it looked like a pond. A pond of more power than the human mind could conceive. This place was truly holy.

The angel seemed fascinated and terrified, with so much power, so many things could be done. Tracking one angel could only be easy. If the angels got to that place, even with his full power, Castiel could not survive them.

“Believe me on this little one.” Lucifer tried to reassure him, guiding him to the center of the room. “Now, just lay down here.”

Of course he believed in him. The angel just left himself be guided by the archangel, who laid him under the arrival of energy. The contact with his skin was burning. The energy wasn't his, it was assaulting his very being. He had to grit his teeth in order not to cry.

“I know... Be brave, it's going to tickle a little bit.”

On these word, Lucifer put him whole under the energy. He dove him into the pond. The energy was all around him, coming from every sides. Melting with his own grace. He thought his vessel would explode under the pressure, and wondered how it could hold the shock. Himself had some difficulties.

Castiel felt like he was suffocating, missing something to live, but it was irrelevant. Angels don't need things that humans need in order to survive. It was another kind of suffocation. The celestial energy was being melted inside his own grace, and in the process his grace became something more, something else. It needed some time to be fully his again, and this time was agonizing. He was nothing for a moment.

Finally, he felt a hand grab him, and he was pulled out of the pond of energy. He was seating inside, waist-deep but the contact wasn't burning anymore. Lucifer was looking at him with expectation.

“How do you feel?” The archangel asked, seeming truly worried.

“I'm...” Cas hesitated, not knowing what to answer.

But there was something hitching, deep within him. He rose slowly, using Lucifer' hand as a support. When he was back on his two feet, the Source shone brighter and behind the angel, his wings appeared. Shadows of his wings, opened on their full span. Big, strong wings made to fly and fight, and most importantly; whole again. As a response, Cas' eyes lit up, in a blue light.

“Gorgeous...” That's all Lucifer could mutter, raising to his feet.

Castiel blinked once, twice, before his wings folded back inside him and his eyes became more human-like.

“Now...” He caught his breath, before continuing “We can reopen the Gates.”

He turned around and started to leave when he felt a hand grasp his wrist.

“No!” Lucifer shouted.

The angel slowly turned to him, feeling deeply confused. What was the problem? They were here, in Heaven, he was made a full angel again and they could access to anything they wanted to let the angels inside. Lucifer seemed panicked for a moment, but he soon put on his carefree mask again.

“Nah... I can't do that, sorry...”

“W-What?” Cas articulated, feeling more and more uneasy.

“I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to leave this place to the people that want to kill you.”

“No...” The angel shook his head. “No you can't... you can't do this, not now!”

“Ho no... nononono, Cas. I really can't. Literally. The spell is irreversible. I can't make Heaven accessible again.” But he saw that panic didn't left his blue eyes.

“But if you knew...” He shook his head, trying to keep the main subject. “Then... We need to go back to Sam and Dean. And explain the situation. They will know what to do to somehow make this location known to all the fallen angels”

“Or...” Lucifer proposed. “We don't”

“Don't-... please...”

Cas had the feeling of being in an emotional roller-coaster. When he thought Lucifer changed his mind, he showed him otherwise and right after, he proved that he had good intentions. He was too confused to know what to think. He didn't felt strong enough to deal with this right know. He promised Lucifer would keep his words. But he seemed... Castiel was sure Lucifer and he were the same, that they could understand each other. But in the moment, he really wasn't sure anymore. He just couldn't understand what the archangel was thinking or what he really wanted to do and... it was scaring him.

“Wait, no. I'm not starting anything, okay? Just trying to protect you.”

“You are... breaking our deal...?” Cas murmured, and he felt that it wasn't only their deal that was being broken.

“No! This is not what I want at all!” Lucifer started to feel panic again. There was only hurt and confusion in Cas' eyes and he didn't want him to doubt him. “Look. I don't care about the rest. I will give up on my plan to destroy humanity, okay? I'll just leave them be on their rock, while we can have this” He extended his arms to show what was all around him. “We can stay in Heaven, together. Far from all the people that hate us” Lucifer said with a quieter voice “Just with the one we love.”

“You...” For some reason, the angel seemed paler “Your plan to what?? You wanted to-” He swallowed. “destroy humanity. Again. I thought you wouldn't. I thought I could trust you on this. I thought...”

He closed his eyes, unable to look at Lucifer anymore. He felt ashamed, and hated that he could still feel so much. He really believed in him. He thought he changed, that now he could be good, or at least try to be. Make the right decisions. But it seemed he was wrong. Was he wrong, each and every single time? Was it really what Lucifer wanted? So he was being manipulated from the beginning? Could it be that Dean was right all along? He felt suddenly sick, physically.

“What? no. This is not what it's about. Listen Cas I-”

When Lucifer tried to reach for him, the angel took a step back, and looked at him with... Fear. In his eyes. He was afraid of him now. No way, this was not what he wanted at all. He didn't want them to be back in these times. Not now, not after all they've been through.

But... he did, didn't he? He had hidden things from him, and he had to admit, he was about to break a deal. Him. Breaking a deal. He never did that. No one ever thought about this possibility, so how could it come to his mind? Was he really going to do that? And for what? For this angel who was now afraid of him and didn't believe in him anymore?

No, it couldn't-... It' couldn't be true. He couldn't take it.

“I'm sorry”

When Cas looked at Lucifer again, feeling a weird hope at his words, he had vanished. And the emptiness of Heaven seemed to echo to the emptiness he felt in his heart.


	13. What Else Can a Poor Guy Do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey every body :)  
> Remember when I said this fic would be about 50k words long?  
> Welp, I lied. I almost finished it and it make more than 80K ^^'  
> Anyway, Destiel becomes canon in this chapter, and warnings for explicit sexual scenes.  
> I'm still not very sure about the smut parts in this story, so don't hesitate to tell me if it's too much.  
> Hope you like it!

Castiel emerged from the lit rift right in the middle of the sand play.

Strangely enough, even if he just had a full upgrade of his grace, he felt drained, devoid of energy. But what he saw when he came out of Heaven acted as a little push in his actions.

There were Dean and Sam, on the playground. It wasn't surprising that they finally got here but what he didn't expect was to see that the older brother was resting, injured, against a tree, Sam trying to take care of his wound the best he could.

When the younger heard something coming from the rift, he rose his head to see his angel friend. “Hey, Cas! Finally you're back” He breathed, relieved.

“Dean!” The angel shouted, running to the brothers.

From a closer look, he could see that the hunter was like burnt all along his right arm, and part of his shoulder and chest. But it wasn't any kind of burnt. It seemed as if his skin and flesh had been disintegrated.

“What happened?” He asked, completely panicked.

“He tried to go through the Gates” Sam explained, because all Dean could manage as a sound were grunts of pain. The younger brother shook his head. “I told him not to!”

“No... No human alive can walk through the Gates of Heaven. This is my fault... I should have warned you”

“Do you... Can you heal him?”

“I can still try...”

Cas extended his hand before him and touched Dean' shoulder. The second after, Dean' arm was as good as knew. He felt a wave of relief hit him. That was the best part of being a full angel again. A least he could be useful to his friends again.

“Thanks Cas” Dean finally said, taking the hand he offered to stand again. “So I can see you took care of it?” He pointed to Metatron' corpse.

“Actually, it was Lucifer. He seemed... very inclined to make him pay for what he did”

“Right, Lucifer. Where is he now?” Sam asked, with only curiosity.

“Lucifer he's...” Suddenly, Cas' throat felt very tight. He inspired and looked slightly to the side, not able to look his friends in the eyes, before he finally answered. “He's gone”

His declaration met only silence, so he rose his eyes to see the look on his friends' faces. Sam looked genuinely shocked, as if he could never see it coming. Kind of like Cas. But they had to eventually face the truth. Their trust had been manipulated. Again. And if felt like a never-ending cycle for Cas. It was highly frustrating.

Dean, on his side, didn't seem shocked or surprised. He had to know, deep down, that it would happen. But he had a look in his eyes, it was compassion more than pride for being right.

“While you were coming here I...” Cas tried to explain himself “During all this time I searched for him. In Heaven. I looked in every corner, I called for him, I prayed for him but... he's gone...”

“No he didn't...” Sam muttered. “I'm so sorry Cas. I never thought he-”

“What happened here?!”

They turned around to see from whom came that unknown voice. Standing above the corpse of Metatron, there was an angel in a male vessel, maybe in his forties. He had short salt and pepper hair and blue eyes. He was wearing a black suit and slacks, white shirt and silver tie and over this, a light gray raincoat. One of Metatron' former follower, Cas assumed, guided the fact that he most certainly flew here.

“Metatron is dead” He declared. “And now Heaven belongs to every angels again”

“No...” The other angel shook his head. “This was not supposed to be this way. You did not have to kill him in such horrible way!”

On these words, the angel took his angel blade in hand and glared at Cas furiously.

He felt his whole body tense. This is not what he wanted. Sure, he knew he would not be welcomed by his brethren just because he found the Gates but... He just hoped the fighting would stop. He rose his hands before him, in a peaceful way.

“Please, brother. I don't want to fight”

But apparently, his brother did. And Cas was infinitely glad that Sam and Dean were ready to defend themselves and were extremely skilled fighters. He flew right behind them and attacked.

They somehow managed to dodge the attack and fought back, even if they didn't have time to get to their own angel blades.

Cas didn't like to admit it, but it was an opportunity that the angel decided to take on the humans, surely because he thought they were weaker and that he needed to lower the number difference in this fight. He could now fly right on him and slam him against the nearest tree, knocking off his weapon in the process. He put an arm across his chest to immobilize him, and his angel blade on his throat just for safety.

The two angels stayed like this, breathing heavily and not moving an inch, as if they were in a battle of looks.

“Go ahead” Metatron' former follower said between gritted teeth. “Kill me. Since it's what you and your pal Lucifer are so used to do”

These words made Cas even more tense. His hold tightened and his body began to tremble a little. He felt just so... so angry. At so many things. And it would be so easy to take on his anger on this angel. After all, he was the one that attacked first. He pushed his blade against his skin. Now he just needed, just a bit more and he could see his grace itself.

“No...” Cas murmured, dropping his blade. “I won't kill you”

He left him go, and watched his brother run a hand on his bruised skin with a shocked look on his face. As if he thought he could really kill him. But he had to admit, he could have. He already did. For far less than that. And with Lucifer they killed many of their brothers and sisters. But he couldn't keep on doing this. He could not keep on destroying his kind.

“What is your name?” He asked.

“I... I'm Ameniel” The other angel stuttered, visibly still afraid.

“Ameniel...” He repeated to keep this name in mind. “I give you the charge of informing our brethren: Heaven is no longer hidden. They can all come home”

He turned around to leave when he heard a question “But... What about you? And Lucifer?”

“Lucifer is-...” Cas stopped and sighed, trying to control his annoyed tone. He had no reasons to be pissed just because of one question. “He's not going to be any of your problems”

“All right then... I guess...” Ameniel hesitated, but finally took off.

Cas found the gaze of the Winchester brothers, and they just seemed worried. But they didn't have to. He was fine, everything was fine. Lucifer was about to break their deal but he didn't. And he even said he would... abandon his plan to destroy humanity. He seemed genuine when he said it so... maybe he really wouldn't break their deal. Maybe.

But the truth was he couldn't tell. He really just couldn't tell. Because he really thought he could trust the Devil, that they could understand each other, that they wanted the same thing but in the end...

His legs gave up under him, and he fell knees onto the ground, unable to hold on anymore.

“Cas!” He heard his friends call after him and run to catch him in their arms. Dean was the fastest, or the closest, he couldn't tell. But he felt like the most present at the moment, his two hands on his shoulder like two reality' anchors.

“I'm sorry...” He whimpered. “I think my change of condition... It affected me more than I-”

“Dammit! Stop apologizing” Dean protested “You have nothing to be blamed for. You obviously have a lot going on and... I guess even angels are allowed to have a little break down. Especially after all this... story. Right now you need calm, and rest”

“Dean's right” Sam agreed. “We're going to bring you back to the bunker. You can take the time you need here. Come on”

Tears welled up in his eyes and he had difficulties to think straight. He felt just... so wrong. So bad. Like his whole body and grace were hurt. Yet he wasn't sure he deserved such kindness and patience. He was just a fool. He was blinded and wronged them because once again, he couldn't tell good from evil.

He couldn't protest though, because he was putted back on his feet and led to the impala.

He then spent most of the night in the room the Winchesters had given him. They did not come to check on him, afraid to bother him and letting him rest. After all, there was nothing urgent anymore. So Cas just took time to... think, try to clear his thoughts and adjust to all this power running in him again. But no, most of the time, he just thought about Lucifer. How he wronged him, manipulated him and hid things from him when he said he would never again.

Or did he? Because part of him, a stupid part of him still believed in the archangel. This time they spent together, the things they shared. They just couldn't be faked. There had to be a part of truth in what they lived. In a way, they had to be... something. Close. Just... not exactly the same. Obviously, he was the Devil after all.

In the end, he just felt torn apart between so many different thoughts.

When it was time to come out of his safe place, he really didn't want to. But he ignored this human emotion. He had things to do. Cas just wondered the bunker, in hope to find the brothers and do something, be of any help. They were in the main room, looking for jobs on their computers. Dean was the first one to notice he was with them.

“Hey, Cas. Are you.... you all right?” He asked, worried.

“I'm fine” Cas half-lied. “I just became tired of doing nothing and I thought-”

He suddenly stopped in his tracks, because he just noticed something wasn't right. Sam seemed... different. He always could tell before, but now it was obvious. Now he was all powerful again and he could see it. This grace in Sam' body. An angel hiding from its own vessel.

“Sam? Why did you welcome an angel inside of you?” He asked, at loss of reasonable explanation.

“What?” Sam articulated, visibly shocked, before his whole posture changed and his voice came out in a totally different way. “oh, don't do this”

“Who are you and why are you possessing Sam Winchester?” Cas inquired. He could not believe that one of his brother could have trapped his friend in this way.

“Oh, great...” Dean sighed next to him, surprisingly not freaked out as he thought he would be. “Cas, this is Ezekiel. He's just here to heal Sam from the inside and then, he'll leave”

“Ezekiel? This is why you asked about him after the Fall?” He looked again at the angel but something seemed off. “No... I knew him. He was a great warrior, but you are not him.”

“What?” It was now that Dean was freaked out.

“The Gates of Heaven are accessible again. You can go back. Leave this man alone this instant or I shall destroy you.”

“No... You don't understand” The angel pleaded. “They won't leave me alone... They'll lock me out or kill me but... I just can't go back there.”

Cas had to admit, it was a difficult thing to do. This angel seemed genuinely terrified by the idea of going back to Heaven and he knew what it was like to be the enemy of the angels. The fact that the desperate eyes he had to face were Sam' didn't make it better at all.

But by the way the younger brother reacted, this possession was not what he wanted. He could not let this be.

“I don't care” He hissed “Go now. Or...”

He rose his hand before him to add some reality to his threat, but it seemed to be enough. Sam' mouth lit up and soon, he could see the angel' energy leaving the hunter. He was free, then.

“No!!” Dean yelled, running to his brother to catch him from falling. “He didn't have to leave! He was supposed to heal Sam. What if he wasn't done yet??”

“Wait...” Cas held on. “You knew about this but Sam didn't?”

“Yeah...” He hesitated, having second thoughts about what he did “I'm the one who made Sam say yes”

“You what now?” Sam said. Apparently he was conscious enough to hear his brother' declaration.

From all the distrust he had in his eyes, Cas could tell nothing good would come out of the following discussion. So he politely decided to give them some privacy and flew somewhere else. Also, part of him felt guilty. He should have seen it sooner. And all this situation was caused by the fact that he has been manipulated by Metatron.

He flew just right outside of the bunked, at the rim of the forest that was just next to it. He started then to understand why Lucifer acted so strangely when he saw Sam. He was seeing the angel inside him too. So... what. He had good intentions? He just wanted to free the younger Winchester? Every thing was just so confusing. He just didn't know what to think.

He surprised himself to pray to Lucifer. Asking him to come back, to talk to him, just to explain himself. Because he desperately needed it. He couldn't make any sense of the last discussion they had together. Cas prayed and waited again and again but nothing happened. Lucifer was just ignoring him and it hurt him more than he thought it would. If he didn't want to come then it meant that there was nothing to understand.

Time passed quicker than he realized. He decided to go back to see if things were better between the Winchesters, and he didn't even noticed that the impala wasn't parked in the garage anymore.

He found Sam in the library, tapping furiously on his computer. That alone told him that no, things weren't settled. He walked to the hunter, wanting to try to fix thing between the brothers. He didn't want them to feel bad. They had enough on their plates.

“Sam, how are you feeling?” He asked, taking a seat next to him.

The hunter rose his head to him and sighed. “Not great”

“I can understand if you are mad. But I'm sure Dean meant only well” Cas tried to calm him. “From what I understood, he just wanted you to get better. He only cares about your safety...”

“Of course I know...” Sam rose his head a little bit to the ceiling, searching for his words, or trying to figure out what he was exactly feeling. Cas couldn't tell with precision because he took the decision to never read in his friends' mind a long time ago. “It's just... I wish he respected my decisions, you know? I can take care of myself and I'm big enough to know what I want”

“Of course you are” Cas nodded. “But I can understand how hard it must be for him too. After all, he spent his whole life looking after you. Of course, this is not a reason to force an angel inside you. He just... made a wrong decision”

“I...” Sam stopped, visibly touched by the angel' words. He inspired and expired slowly. “I guess... I just need time to think about this. He... he forced me to do something I didn't want to”

“Of course, I understand. I'm sorry if I was too... insistent” He slowly rose from his seat. “Do you know where Dean is?”

“No ideas” Sam shrugged. “The closest bar?”

Now that just could not be good. Cas knew the hunter had some drinking issues, but if he felt bad enough to actually go somewhere else to drink, it was worst than he expected. He felt so worried that he didn't took the time to say anything before he flew away.

With no surprise, he found Dean in the closest bar. When he arrived he spotted him at the bar, just drinking silently, and he found some difficulties to go to him. With the night hours coming, many people were gathering in these kind of places. And for some reasons, some of them tried to abort him but he didn't have time to chat. He could have flied but he remembered that Dean told him that it was too weird to see someone pop out of nowhere in public places.

Finally, he was able to access the bar and seat down on the tool next to Dean's, who turned to him with a smile. “Well, hello b-” He suddenly stopped in the middle of his sentence. “Ho, hey Cas”

From his place, the angel could perfectly see how many drinks his friend had. And it was too many, according to human standards.

“Dean...” He said with a disapproving tone. “I think you drank enough”

“I've had worst” Dean shrugged, drinking the content of his glass.

“Maybe, but it's not a reason. It will only make you feel worst”

The hunter rose his head from his drink, and stared at the nothingness in front of him for a few seconds. “Doesn't matter” He finally muttered.

“Yes, it does” Cas insisted. “You don't have to feel even worst for what you did, Dean”

Since he didn't get the attention he wanted, he put his hand on his friend' shoulder. It had the effect he expected. Dean was actually looking at him.

“You just wanted to protect your brother. I can completely understand this. And you just did a mistake. This too I can understand. But now things are fixed and Sam... he just needs time”

Dean didn't say anything, he just kept on staring into his eyes.

“Things are fine now. You don't have to beat you up anymore with this. I think you did enough”

“Nah... you can't understand. I-... I screw every thing up. I left Lucifer do whatever he wanted when I just knew I shouldn't, I've forcefully put an angel inside my brother and I even-” He stopped and stared at Cas, feeling suddenly very wrong. He sighed and hung his head. “I even messed up every thing with you”

“What? Me?” Cas furrowed his brow, not sure to understand what Dean meant. “No, Dean, you didn't screw anything”

“Well that's kind of the point here” He said before blushing furiously and widening his eyes. “Man you were right, I drank enough” He laughed slowly and despite what just said, emptied his glass.

“Dean” He called him and put his other hand on his other shoulder to force his friend to look into his eyes. “For what it's worth... for me, nothing changed between us”

“But the thing is I'd like things to change” He sighed again, adverting Cas' eyes. “I can't believe I need to drink to pull this out...”

“I-I... er...” The angel felt panic raising inside him. Did he heard right? He sure hoped he didn't. He didn't want... he wasn't sure he could support this. “You... you don't want us to be friends anymore...?” He asked with a weak voice, feeling his throat tighten. “If... If this is because of what happened with Lucifer I'm sorry Dean. I... I was blind and I should have trusted you, but please... I don't-”

“Woah, no Cas, no” Dean interrupted him, but at least it made him look into his eyes. “I don't mean it like this. Even if... yeah, it's kind of linked with all that Lucifer stuff”

“Oh...” Cas sighed deeply, relieved. “Then... what do you mean?”

The angel really couldn't tell. He tried to connect in his head the fact that Dean wanted them to change but he couldn't find any logical explanation so he just waited for the hunter to reply. He didn't know. Maybe there was a way they could be something else than friend but still as close as they were? He tilted his head on the side, his hands still on Dean' shoulders.

On his side, Dean just felt desperate. How could Cas be so clueless? Or maybe he wasn't and putted on a hell of an act. But in any case, it felt incredibly painful. Because the angel just kept on staring into his eyes, as if he could find all the answers inside and it was just so... Cas. He wanted to do something stupid. Because what could be just one more? And anyway, with Cas' hands on his shoulders, he could always stop him if he wanted.

So he put his hand on Cas' thigh to have some sort of support and leaned in, slowly. So fucking slowly. He had all the time to see these big eyes never leaving his. But he didn't move, didn't stop him, didn't pull out. So what the Hell. Dean kept on getting closer and finally, he kissed him.

On the corner of his mouth.

He pulled out and snorted. “Nah... I'm not going to be that selfish”

But looking at Cas again, he understood that it was way too late to backtrack. His eyes were even wider, if that was possible. And he seemed pale. As if he was struck with the realization of the millennial.

“D-Dean... you... why did you do that?” He stuttered.

“What, that's not obvious?” He said as if it was no big deal.

But it was actually a huge deal. He tried to turn around to keep on some relaxed attitude but Cas' hands prevented him from doing so.

“Because I...” He sighed. “I like you. But, not... like a friend or... a brother. In a way I- I probably shouldn't. But that's not important. I mean, I doesn't matter that you don't feel the same-”

“No Dean” Cas interrupted him. “I think I do feel the same”

“What? B-But I thought...” Dean was so shocked by what he heard, he couldn't even end his sentence.

It didn't make any sense to him. He really thought that Cas liked Lucifer, even if it perturbed him to the deepest. So... it could be that his friend was really being manipulated. It was just fucking hilarious that he had to kiss him to realize it. Added to the fact that he had to see him in the arms of the Devil to figure out his massive crush. But it wasn't hilarious, actually. It was freaking ridiculous.

Cas was just sinking in confusion. It was pretty clear now, that all the affection he felt for the hunter was something more. It's true that he always felt deeply attached to Dean, and did so many things for him. Stupid things, good thing, bad things. But it was all for him, until...

Well until Lucifer came in. And now he was just completely lost. Angels weren't created to feel love. So why in Hell did he feel so much? He felt punched in the face by the reality of his feelings.

As he understood it was romantic love he felt for Dean, he realized he felt just the same for Lucifer.

“That's... great, Cas” Dean smiled to him. “But I gotta ask. What about Lucifer?”

“Well... Now, I am sure that I do have feelings for him” Before he could see regret in the hunter' eyes, he put his hand on his cheek and looked into his eyes. “But I like you Dean. I like you a lot. In a romantic way. And I want to be with you.”

With these words, the insecurity in Dean' eyes vanished, and he laughed. “We're a couple of dumb asses”

“Less 'dumb ass', more 'couple'” The angel proposed.

Dean chuckled. “I'm so on board with that.”

It felt weird, to be so light-hearted. Dean felt happy, with Cas just right next to him, even if the angel seemed very confused. It felt like little bubbles of joy popping inside his chest and maybe it was the alcohol and the euphoria acting in his place but it really didn't matter.

When their eyes met once again, he felt the need to kiss him, and doing it right this time.

Apparently Cas had the same idea because he leaned in at the same time, his lips already slightly parted. Their mouth finally found each other and they took time to taste it. Their first kiss. Dean would remember later that he was drunk and that Cas had just been abandoned by his previous lover but whatever. He didn't want to think, he wanted to feel.

Soon enough, he could feel it, the taste of Cas inside his mouth, his tongue invading him. He felt his hands, too, that left his shoulder to wrap around his neck, caress his cheeks and fist in his hair. And, okay, he didn't know if they were going to keep it chaste but the angel had decided for them both. Unable to move closer because of the distance created by the bar stools, Cas broke the kiss.

Dean took also advantage of it to catch his breath. “Well, Cas... I didn't take you for the type to do it on the first date”

He tried to joke, to cool down the temperature a bit. Because he wasn't sure he could face the fact that a kiss only could give him a boner.

“I think we are way beyond that” Cas replied with a dead serious tone, his eyes darker than usual.

He licked his lips, as if trying to get a little bit more of Dean' taste and that was enough to make him forget about what he thought on the matter of keeping it in his pants.

He rose from his seat to get closer to Cas but before he knew it, they were flown right back in his room. He was only starting to think about how his baby was left behind when he was assaulted by more kisses. He had to admit, Cas kissing him was really distracting. Dean held him closer as he returned his kisses and feeling his whole body pressing against him sent a rush of blood down his crotch.

That was it, then. He was going to do this was Cas. His erection was already shamelessly showing through the fabric of his jeans. And feeling the angel' hard member pressing against his thigh didn't fix things.

“We probably should get naked” Cas murmured, nibbling at his ear for a moment.

“Yeah... probably” He chuckled, because apparently that was all he could do at the time. He just felt really exited and nervous and visibly, it made him laugh. Though he immediately stopped when the angel gently pushed him against the bed and he fell backward on it, Cas looming over him with hungry eyes that left him panting.

But, right. Clothes. He struggled out of them quickly, if not graciously, and forced himself not to blush when the angel stared at each and every inch of his body with what could only be worship. He knew he wasn't exactly ugly but to see Cas looking at him like that... as if he wanted to eat him, it was a lot to take. The idea was pretty enticing and his cock reacted for him, twitching at the only thought.

Though he would love to return the favor. He tugged at Cas' clothes to inform him that he wanted him to take them off, and soon enough they were both naked and pressed against each other.

Dean could hardly think straight with the attention Cas gave him, kissing him on the ear, neck, chest, abdomen. He skimmed over his whole body with his lips and tongue, learning every shape and curves. When his fingers brushed his dick, he couldn't hold back a gasp. He felt gentle fingers close around his member and give it a few tentative strokes.

“Holy crap” He cursed. But when he saw the worried face of the angel, afraid of doing something wrong, or too fast, he just cupped his face and pulled him into another kiss. They parted, and Cas addressed him a pleased smile before he went back to settle down between Dean' parted thighs, planting kisses here and there.

He traced all the way to the base of his hardened member with gentle touches. He started stroking him again, and Dean moaned and arched into the touch. Then, he tasted him, licked his length once or twice before sucking on the tip of his dick. Dean held his breath, and he had to bite his lower lip not to cry out when Cas took him in his mouth. He didn't waste any minute before pulling out slowly and sucking all the way in again, taking all of Dean' dick in one thrust.

He took some time to get used to the weigh and the fullness in his mouth. Then he started bobbing his head up and down at a slow regular pace that left Dean begging for more. “Fuck. Fuck, Cas... ngh- Please...” He whimpered. The angel hummed in appreciation around him, and sped up the pace, occasionally swirling his tongue around Dean' cock.

It felt good. Cas was so warm and wet and what he did with his tongue was just making Dean see stars. It felt too perfect to be real. Because it was just a scene coming right out of his hottest dream, not possibly what he could get.

“Fuck, Cas...” He moaned when he took him whole inside again, the tip of his cock pushing against the back of his throat. It was too much to take and felt like he would come way to soon to be able to face him after that, so he tried to say something even though he couldn't be sure of what would come out of his mouth. “Who taught you to suck like that”

Cas' in and out movements suddenly stopped, and Dean froze.

“Fuck” The hunter cursed again, but this time it was not out of pleasure. He wished. He was so, so fucking stupid to bring that out right now. He'd fuck up every thing again. He stared at the ceiling, thinking of an apology to blurt out when the angel pulled out with a wet popping sound that, despite the discomfort created by his words, sent a rush of arousal through his whole body.

He felt a kiss being pressed on his inner thigh. "Dean” The angel said in a deep, depraved voice that almost sent him over the edge from a mix of lust and guilt. “I'd like you to turn around now, please”

Dean felt a shiver run through his whole body. He wasn't sure how to react after what he just said, and the obvious fact that Cas had immediately thought about Lucifer, just like Dean. He could have sworn it would be a Hell of a turn down. But he didn't complain when he saw Cas' eyes full of determination, and probably impatience too because, shame on Dean, he still hadn't laid a hand on him and his hard and leaking dick.

He turned around and rolled on his stomach. Because why the Hell not? All Cas did was giving him some awesome time. So who was him to deny him? He felt Cas' hands trace the curve of his back, hips and ass, and his heart was beating at an incredibly high speed.

He couldn't know for sure but he had a pretty good idea of what the angel wanted to do. And yeah, he was super tensed. Even though he knew it would be much easier if he relaxed. He just felt nervous at the idea of being the one fucked. But damn, he kind of desperately wanted it.

Cas' hands landed on his ass cheeks and parted them. A finger circled his hole, prodding gently the tight ring of muscle. He gasped when he felt something sliding in, that wasn't quite corporeal. The angel prepared him with his grace before slowly pushing a finger in. He grasped the sheet under him in an attempt to keep it quiet. Cas waited for him to get more comfortable before pulling out and getting all the way back in.

The pressure was weird, and not-so pleasant in the first time. But the in-and-out movements of Cas' finger made his entire body jerk in rhythm. It rubbed his dick on the mattress and sent waves of pleasure in his whole being that immediately made it easier to enjoy.

Cas added another finger, and started scissoring him. When one of his finger brushed his prostate he could hold back a low moan that incited him to reach that spot again on multiple time. His pleasure was quickly building from here, and Dean soon felt the desperate need to feel more. He jerked his hips up and down, to find some friction with his cock and to meet Cas' fingers, taking them deeper than the angel dared to.

“Haaan... Cas-” Dean groaned when the angel spread his legs wider, allowing him to thrust a little bit faster, a little bit further. The angel leaned in, pressing his chest against his back to plant kisses on his shoulder blades. It allowed him to feel his hard cock grinding against his groin. “Cas, Fuck. I'm so close...”

“Don't hold back” He whispered right into his ear. “Come for me Dean” He added a third finger and that is what sent the hunter over the edge.

He cried Castiel' name when his whole body shook with the intensity of his orgasm and he came between his stomach and the sheets he held on for dear life.

Cas pulled his fingers out slowly, with a wet sound, and Dean turned around to look at him. He could feel himself be immediately clean and thanked Cas' angel-mojo for that.

He opened his arms to invite him inside, and the angel accepted gladly. He crawled back to him to wrap his arms around his waist and pulled him close.

Dean was holding Cas tight against him, running his hands on his back, slowly riding out of his orgasm, when he suddenly remembered something. “Shit. You didn't get to-”

“I'm good” Cas quickly interrupted him.

“But you didn't-”

“I'm good, Dean. Really. You were very... hum-” He inhaled a shaky breath. “beautiful... to look at.”

A blush spread on the angel' cheeks, and he looked away. That's when Dean noticed that his formerly hard cock was soft. He was hit with realization. Cas came just to the sight of him getting one of the best orgasm he's ever had, and that was all kinds of praising.

"Damn..." Dean breathed. He yet couldn't believe it, but it did happen, right? He confessed his feelings to his best friend and the arms around him were Cas'. "I think I might have to come out the closet now"

"Maybe" The deep gravel voice replied right next to his hear, and they locked eyes for a moment. "You don't have to do anything that would make you uncomfortable"

And looking into those eyes filled with genuine care, all he could think was "damn me". Because this was what he was going to have, and he was so on board with it, he didn't give a damn about anything else.

 

Several days went by, and Cas developed a comfortable routine with the Winchesters. Now that he had all of his grace powering him, he could be of such a big use in cases. Most of the time, he just took care of demon' fights between the two camp that were battling for the power in Hell. They became more and more frequent as time passed and they involved innocent humans in regular basis. It was becoming worrying.

But one good news was that there were no signs of angels on Earth. Cas could only assume that they went back to Heaven, where they belonged.

Apart from that, he really appreciated the new relationship he had with Dean. He felt liberated from a big weight when he finally understood what he felt for the hunter, and he was happy with him.

Dean didn't really have to “come out the closet” as he said. One morning Sam walked on them going out of Dean' room, he mouthed a silent “Finally” toward the ceiling, as if thanking God. And it is just how it became official. They did care deeply about each other and they shared something... so special.

But even if Dean made him happy, and Cas hoped it worked both ways, he couldn't stop feeling this void inside of him. Like there was something missing. Or rather someone.

It wasn't unusual that Cas wander in the surroundings of the bunker, to try to clear his thoughts. And often, during these times, he wondered how he could be so selfish. He had all he ever wanted and yet, he missed Lucifer. How could he do this to Dean? He filled many voids inside of him yet there were still missing pieces. He hated the fact that he couldn't feel contempt. It wasn't right for his lover.

This time, during his contemplation, he found someone, sitting on a hill, right on the grass. Cas decided to go to him and seat next to him.

“Hello Sam. I hope I'm not bothering you”

“Hey Cas” Sam saluted back. “No, not at all. Are you feeling alright?”

“I am yes. What about you?” The only answer he got was a look with heavy meaning, as if he was telling him to cut the crap just with his eyes. Cas sighed. “This.... this is not important”

“No, I understand” Sam marked a pause. “You miss him, don't you?”

“I...” Cas sighed. “I do... But my feelings for Dean are just as strong and... this is all just so confusing. I don't want to bother you with that. You have enough to worry about.”

“It's good, Cas. I'm here for you” Sam smiled at him. “And, you're right. This all seems to be very... complex. And I'm not a specialist in angel feelings but if I can help... If you just need someone to talk to, you know where to find me”

“This is very kind...”

Cas just looked straight in font of him, thinking for a moment. Sam was showing him a lot of kindness and he really appreciated it. He didn't feel comfortable sharing his doubts with Dean because he didn't want him to doubt the feelings he had for him, or be hurt by his attachment he felt to the archangel. What the younger brother was offering him was life-saving.

“I love Dean” He finally declared. “He is practically every thing I could ever ask for, every thing I need. But Lucifer is... He brought something I just couldn't expect and now, without him, it feel like there is something huge missing...”

When he turned to his friend, he could see in his eyes what could only be deep care and affection.

“Look, Cas. You're just as important as a brother to me, and I want you to be happy, just as much as I want Dean to be happy. And you can't imagine how thrilled I was to know you finally worked your feelings and got together. But if you need someone else to feel truly good, I'm not going to blame you. You shouldn't worry about this, or feel guilty about this. Do what makes you happy, and Dean, and I, we will work it out.”

Cas looked at him for a few minutes, trying to think of something to say. It seemed that Sam understood every thing that caused him trouble. And he swiped away his uncertainties. What he said meant just so much. He would love to say the same, but he couldn't find the right words.

“The thing is... I'm not sure of what would make me happy...”

“Ha” Sam laughed quietly. He then looked at him and rose his eyebrows. “That is another matter. I can't really give you my opinion on that”

“I know. But thank you, for the other things you said” Cas looked at him. “I want to be here for you too. So if you need to talk about what happened, why you are mad at Dean... And I don't want to get ahead of myself but I don't think you are still angry with him. You just said you wanted him to be happy...”

“Of course I do” Sam half-smiled, ducking his head. “He is my brother. I only want the best for him” He rose his head “What he did, it... it was just stupid, and reckless. But I'll forgive him, eventually. As always. These kind of wounds just need time to heal, you know?” He addressed him an apologetic smile. “Anyway, I'll let you figure out things on your own”

The hunter patted him on the knee and got up. Sam had enough time to think and needed to do his job. Hunting monsters, saving lives... Cas could understand. And he was grateful that Sam understood he needed some more time to think about all the things they just talked about.

“Just focus on what you want”

On these words, the hunter started to walk away, leaving the angel with his thoughts. And again, there was the matter of want. What he wanted. It was asked to him before. He realized that it must have been some way to care. A way to show affection, and concern. A way to lead to happiness. This is then that he understood.

Cas pulled his knees against his chest and started to think again. He thought about Lucifer, trying to reach for him, through this prayer.

_"Now, he knew none of them worked before. Probably because Lucifer was ignoring them. Or maybe he listened to them but just... didn't want to come to him. But he had to try again. Because right then, what he wanted was for Lucifer to come back. He wanted to see him. Well, he wasn't sure he could forgive him easily, because he still tried to break their deal. He tried to break their promise. But just as Sam said, these kind of wounds need time to heal. They would eventually get better. They could work this through. Then, he just missed him. Things felt wrong without him. And he asked him once again to come back to him because he just missed him so much. Because he loved him. Right, he loved him, Lucifer."_

Cas re-opened his eyes and waited, for some sort of reply. His heart was beating so loud in his chest. He just said it. Well, more like thought about it but the result was the same. Lucifer knew. He communicated his feelings. He just hoped it would get him something. A reply, a reaction, the return of the archangel, in the best case scenario.

But as minutes ticked by, the angel felt his heartbeat calm down, as well as his hopes. If Lucifer didn't came back to him for this... He just didn't knew what would make him.

Suddenly, there was the sound of wings and the air around him shifted.

“Sorry I took so long”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as a precision: The part in italic are what Cas says in his prayer


	14. I've Got Nothing to Offer

Cas was terrified, angry, and incredibly happy at the same time.

"This is seriously all you have to say?" He asked.  
Days after Lucifer left him, he came back as if nothing happened. And he didn't even dare to face him. He just appeared behind him, sat down, and leaned his back against his. Cas wanted to turn around to see him but... he thought it was Lucifer's turn to take a step forward this time.

"I honestly didn't think you would want me to come back" 

"Ho, so you just" Cas rolled his eyes "You really think all the prayers I sent you were pranks?" He replied coldly, witch got him a dry laugh from the archangel.

"All right, I deserve it. But you had Dean. I thought you could have your happy ending with him" Lucifer stopped for a second. "I guess I was wrong. You love me too much to be happy without me"

"You can't be serious" Cas groaned. "I wonder why I even wanted you back"

He started to get up when Lucifer flew right in front of him. 

"Wait, no. Listen to me” He putted his hands on the angel' arms. “I was so glad to hear you still wanted me and... it's going to sound weird... it's going to be even weirder for me but... I can't leave you"

Cas stared at Lucifer, waiting for him to finish his sentence. He knew it was something important and he wanted to hear it, so he kept silent. He felt the hands on his arms slide down, caressing the sleeves of his trench-coat before taking hold of his hands. Lucifer inspired, on the verge to talk when he saw movement on the corner of his eye.

"Castiel there are- OH MY LORD! LUCIFER!!" Ameniel screamed, terrified. He pulled out his angel blade.

Cas jerked his hands away from Lucifer's. "Calm down" He sighed, slightly pulling the archangel behind him, in a useless gesture to protect him from the angel who just handled his weapon. "He won't hurt you"

"I might" Lucifer narrowed his eyes. "He just interrupted our moment"

"He's kidding" Cas precised.

"No I'm not-"

"What do you want?" Cas continued. "I specified to you that you better keep a low profile"

"I-I know..." Ameniel stuttered, keeping his eyes on the archangel. "I just wanted to warn you that there are some angels still on Earth...” He then hesitated, fidgeting on spot but not letting go of his weapon. “Wh-Why is Lucifer...” He took a second to clear his throat. “I'm sorry but you said he wouldn't be a problem so...?"

"He's not a problem now, is he?" Cas rose an eyebrow.

"I... guess not..." The angel still hesitated, clearly trying to detect any form of offensiveness on the archangel.

"Then back off!" Lucifer ordered and the second after, Ameniel was gone. "Damn it, He completely ruined the mood"

"This is not important.” Cas decided, looking down at his hands. “We should go back to the bunker to tell-"

"You've got to be fucking kidding me"

Cas turned around to the sound of Dean' voice. Right, he wanted to tell him before he could see it, but it was too late. He would have preferred to inform him of Lucifer' return instead of just seeing him by chance. Now he could only feel betrayed.

"It's nice to see you too Dean" Lucifer smiled.

"What are you doing here?"

"Well obviously, you weren't good enough for Cas so I came back."

"Haha. Real funny" Dean deadpanned and quickly walked to them, reaching for the gun he kept in his belt. But when his eyes landed on Cas, they were infinitely softer. "I wanted to check on you to see if you were okay... but apparently I'm too late”

Cas stayed silent. He knew that he would have to tell the truth eventually, but he couldn't figure out how. He couldn't find the right words. How was he supposed to tell them that they were just as important to him? 

Lucifer took a step forward, in front of Cas, and eyed Dean' weapon. "That's cute. You want to shoot me?"

"That's gonna relief me of some stress" And without waiting any more, he shot Lucifer. 

The archangel grunted and took a few steps back because of the impact. These human weapons couldn't kill him but they still hurt. A little bit. Lucifer sighed and waved his hands in front of him. "Are you satisfied?"

"Not quite" Dean said as he aimed again.

"Dean, please!" Cas interrupted him this time. "Could we... could we talk, please?"

The hunter looked at him for a minute, then he agreed. He flew them right into Dean' bedroom, to talk privately. Just the two of them. They sat on the bed and once there was no Lucifer on sight, Dean' anger vanished, leaving its place to a whole new mix of emotions like regret, guilt and sadness, jealousy and envy. 

Before he could say anything, Cas spoke. "Dean I'm sorry. I should have told you"

"Tell me what? That you missed him? Or that you were asking him to come back?"

"This, and tell you that I... never really stopped praying for him"

Silence fell, and they stared at each other for a moment. Cas knew he needed to leave time to the hunter to digest the information. So he just waited for Dean to say something.

"Okay, So I know you like him, a lot" He stated as a simple fact. "But I know too that you didn't fake it, these last days. You, me, us... this is something you want, right?"

"Of course" Cas replied quickly. It was the one thing he was sure of. He would never pretend to care about him. His feelings were true. "I didn't lie to you, certainly not about this"

"Then I'm not giving you up" Dean declared, taking Cas' hands in his.

"That's... thank you..." Cas murmured, without hiding a little bit of his surprise in his voice. He was sure Dean would be mad. And he would be right to. Cas hid things from him once again. But his reaction was very... sweet. And he suddenly felt a rush of affection for the hunter.

"What, you thought I would be mad?" Dean asked, then admitted. "Okay, I am. But I'm not blind, and I know you two lived some things. But we did too” He left go of Cas' hands to touch his cheeks and look him in the eyes “and I care about you more than that. More than to give you up on the first archangel”

“That's sweet. But the fact that he called to me should tell you that you're just not it”

“Damn it Lucifer!” Cas almost jumped of the bed. “We said we wanted to talk privately”

“And you did” Lucifer said, walking to the bed “But you had enough time with him while I was gone. Now is my turn”

“There is no turn, all right?” Dean protested. “Cas gets to spend time with whoever he wants.”

“Sure” The archangel shrugged. “But I bet he'd rather catch up with me. Right, Cas?”

He didn't wait for Lucifer to finish his sentence, Cas flew away. He just couldn't predict things would happen this way. He doubted Lucifer would come back. And if he did, he thought that Dean would be angry with him. But in the end, they forgave him, and came back to him. The both of them. 

“Well look at what you've done” Lucifer accused. 

“What I have-” Dean got up from the bed, hardly believing what he was hearing “Because you think suddenly deciding to come back was going to help him?”

“Because you think jumping on him as soon as I was out was going to help him?” Lucifer nagged.

“Well excuse me! You just left him without a word, but I was here for him”

"Really... that's crazy but that reminds me of something. You don't remember? You did the exact same thing. When he was human and needed you the most. But I was the only one by his side"

For a moment, they just kept on staring at each other, considering what the other had just said. Dean had to admit, Lucifer did have a point. He felt all of his guilt coming back at him. If he believed in Cas a little bit more at the time, he would have told him every thing about pretended Zeke. He would have left him stay at the bunker and he never would have allied with Lucifer. 

And if Lucifer was honest, there's always had been something going on between the hunter and the little one. And he never saw him more relieved than when he was accepted back by his sides. 

“Look” Lucifer decided. “Clearly, we both care a lot about Castiel. And he seems in a time of confusion. We should probably... just give him time to think”

Dean rose an eyebrow, uncertain of what he just heard. “Wait... Lucifer ready to concede?”  
“I am” Lucifer admitted. “I'll let Cas have whatever he wants. But the chances are on my side, considering that he practically begged for me to come back” He smirked.

“Right” Dean crossed his arms. “And what if he wants neither of us? Or... both?”

Lucifer clacked his tongue against his palate. “Come on... that can't happen. I mean: look at us” He waved his hand between the two of them. “We're too different to please the same angel”

 

Days passed and Cas talked to Sam, to try to have advices. The hunter just patted his shoulder and wished him good luck. He had no ideas of the mess he was in. He thought for a moment that he could try to stay away from those too complicated stories. He was happy just being around Sam and Dean and Lucifer, he could just enjoy their presence. Being an angel once again, he wasn't even sure he needed their love as he did before. 

Dean and Lucifer, were actually very not helpful. They respected his choices and left him space to think. It just deepened his love and didn't help at all. But even if they didn't do or say anything, the tension between Dean and Lucifer was heavy in the air. To the point that even more often than before, Cas had to leave, take a walk outside. 

The angel walked for several minutes, unconsciously going back to the spot where he prayed for Lucifer for the last time. He sat down at the exact same spot, in the exact same position, and thought. He knew he was guilty. Because of him, things were even more complicated. But even if he thought days and nights about it, he couldn't come to a decision. He just. Could not. Choose. 

That was so selfish.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by a bottle of beer being handed to him. When he rose his head he saw Dean sitting down next to him with a bottle for himself. “You all right?” He asked, obviously worried.

Cas accepted the beer he proposed him and sighed. “I'm... fine, yes. Confused, but fine” He opened his beer and took a sip. “How about you?”

“Still pretty worked up. It was a pretty close call with that wendigo” Dean replied, rolling his shoulder to empathize his words. 

Cas understood he was referring to the wendigo they just hunted. They literally just came back from this job, where the older Winchester got in a pretty bad situation. The angel was glad he was able to get to him in time and kill the monster. But even if Dean wanted to act like it was no big deal, he couldn't stop wincing whenever he used a little his shoulder. 

Cas sighed and putted his hand on his shoulder, using his grace to heal him. “You know you can just ask me when you need these kind of things.”

“Yeah...” Dean shrugged and drank his beer, trying not to focus on the hand still on his shoulder and the blue eyes staring at him.

“There is something you want to say” Cas stated, reading easily into the hunter.

“I just... I just wanted to tell you...” He started, not quite looking at Cas. “I want you to do the right choice, you know? The one that makes you happy. And I know you need time to really, think good about all of this but... I'm not eternal. I... just had a pretty brutal reminder of that. I can't wait a hundred years for you, even if I was ready to. Hell, maybe I can't even last the next month”

Cas was suddenly struck with realization. Even if Dean was one of the best hunter and saved the World twice, he was a mortal. Sure, he was brought back from the dead on multiple times but Cas wasn't sure how many times he could do this. On this hunt, supposedly a normal day of work for Dean, he almost lost him. And that thought... was terrifying. 

“Of course... I'm... so sorry Dean I didn't mean to add a weight to you” He tried to apologize, for many things beside his disability to make one choice. “Was that what.... distracted you? You seemed a little unfocused during the hunt” He asked, because he couldn't bear the fact that he could be the cause of the hunter' injury.

“What? Nah...” Dean replied, waving his hand as if it would make it less important. “I'm fine with this situation, totally. Not knowing who of me or the Devil you gonna chose... And well, worst case scenario... we're still friends. It's not a problem at all. Nope” He repeated, taking another sip of his drink.

“I am... so so sorry Dean” Cas repeated, looking at him with honest guilt in his eyes “Making your life even more complicated is the last thing I wanted”

“You didn't make it more complicated man. Actually, you made it better for a few days” He precised, finally looking into his eyes. “So much better...”

They stared at each other' eyes for a moment, in a comfortable silence. But Cas had the feeling like there was something more to be said, something expected.

“Dean, I-”

He was interrupted by a kiss, chaste and quick on his lips. Too quick, and at the same time not enough. Because the angel had all the time to feel Dean and all the feelings he putted in this kiss, and it left him craving for more. He felt just assaulted by all the love he felt for the hunter and that he restrained the past few days.

“Sorry” Dean apologized. “I just... Before you said anything, I wanted to check something”

He looked to the side, seeming ashamed. But he had no reasons at all to be, so Cas cupped his cheeks in his hands and kissed him again. Nibbled his lips almost hungrily. It didn't seem like it was enough. Dean' lips tasted like the beer he just drank and it was frustrating. So he tossed aside the bottle Dean was holding to make his point and deepened the kiss, demanding entrance into the other' mouth.

But instead of letting him in, Dean pushed him gently, to catch his breath. “Okay...” He breathed with a wide smile. “Now that sure wipes out some of my doubts”

Before Cas had time to reply, Dean pulled him by the collar of his trench-coat and kissed him once again. This time, the kissed was returned with passion and eagerness. Maybe a little bit too much, because they fell backward, Cas on top of Dean.

“So you do like me” He tried to clarify.

“Obviously I do” Cas answered before leaning down and kissing him once again. He tasted his lips and every inch of his mouth and it felt so right. He finally felt Dean, coming to him, asking for him.

The angel found out that missing Lucifer was something very hard experience. But not being able to be with either him or Dean was impossible. And he felt so much for the older Winchester. He could hardly resist him and all the love he created inside him.

 

The next morning, when they both came out of Dean' room, the first thing they saw was an archangel in the corridor. Lucifer was just waiting, arms crossed and leaning against the wall, staring at them. “Fun night?” He simply asked, with a light tone.

“Well, if you really want to know, it was pretty-”

“Dean!” Cas interrupted him, embarrassed. 

He just didn't feel like talking with Lucifer about his sexual activities with Dean. He still felt things for him and it was... complicated. So he just started to walk away. 

Dean shrugged and just followed him but he couldn't stop from smirking at Lucifer. He won. Cas chose him over the Devil, and it was a huge relief. He honestly didn't know how he could have bear it if the opposite happened. 

But he still couldn't help but be worried. Even after what they said the night before, he couldn't be sure Cas' feelings for Lucifer were gone. He wasn't even sure they could ever be and he had the feeling that it would be a constant fight to stay the number one in the angel' heart.

Lucifer rolled his eyes and followed after them. Of course he was a little bit jealous. He would have loved to spend the night with Castiel and it had been so long since they had some fun together. But he wasn't worried. He wouldn't have pleaded him to come back just to chose another man after he returned. 

He watched them act in the kitchen, in front of Sam. Constantly stepping into the other' personal space and staring at each other as if they were their whole World. So, okay, he was definitely jealous. He just stood at the entrance of the kitchen and rolled his eyes.

“So...” Dean looked at him with a smirk. “Chances are still on your side?”

“Oh you can brag all you want, my friend” Lucifer declared, not able to take any more of this. “But you never will have what Cas and I have”

Cas almost spat out all of his coffee but he managed to get a hold of himself in time. He just blushed, hopping Lucifer wouldn't say something too embarrassing, and took a sip of his drink. He also glanced at Sam, sitting at the table with him, who just seemed deeply confused, not knowing why he had to be a witness of all of this. 

Dean, on the other hand, felt challenged. He thought he just proved to the archangel that Cas loved him the most. What could he have to say? “Really... And what is it?” He asked, not leaving his place at the counter of the kitchen.

“Grace, you idiot” Lucifer replied. “When I found Castiel, he was broken and desperate. But I healed him, and gave him back his grace. That make our relationship more profound than you could ever hope yours to be”

Lucifer got closer to Cas, who just looked at him with big, confused eyes. The archangel touched his cheek with the tip of his finger. That was what human eyes could see. On another plan of reality, he used his grace to reach for him. This time, unlike any other before, he was here. There was Cas, the pure essence of his being, him. That was fully welcoming him, accepting him. His eyes started to glow of a red light as Cas' lit up with a blue one.

“We are bonded... Well, not quite completely but I look forward to it.” Lucifer concluded with a smirk. 

“Bonded? What does that mean?” Dean asked, starting to reconsider his chances. 

“Well, when two angels really care about each other, they can share a special bond. Connect their grace, meddle them to feel each other, to belong to someone and to never really be separated. Through this connection they can share everything and be part of the other” He smiled at Castiel, never leaving sight of him as he spoke. He was right then, the little one really wanted him the same way. "now Dean... how about you leave and let us do our things?" Lucifer proposed with a honey sweet voice.

"Sam!" Cas shouted, abruptly raising from his chair and jerking away from Lucifer' intoxicating touch. "Would you be so nice and help me with researches in... another room?"

"I'm right behind you" Sam nodded with wide eyes.

In a second, he got up from his seat and they left the room, leaving Lucifer and Dean alone. So maybe the archangel was too froward with this bond story. But he couldn't let Dean think Cas was his. Sure, there was something going on between him and this human but... nothing comparable.

"You don't think..." Lucifer pointed to the door. "You don't think your bother could steal our angel?"

"What? Pft... nah..." Dean frowned. The idea was ridiculous, and frankly impossible. Then he remembered that so was the idea of him being in a relationship with the Devil. "Though we better check. Just to be sure"

"Right" Lucifer nodded and flew. 

 

Cas was in the reserve room when he found him. The angel was trying to process what he heard, about the bound they shared. It wasn't a shock because he did care a lot about the archangel. But to know they were that close, that they needed each other this much... He wasn't sure. 

Although, in the end, it made sense. He lived with him, shared a lot with him. And Lucifer showed him a part of him that was very private. Very likeable. And he did so much for him, protected him, saved his life on multiple times, showed kindness and care and comprehension and love. Really, it wasn't a shock that he fell even deeper for the archangel. 

Cas became so comfortable around him that he didn't even flinched when he popped out of nowhere right in front of him. 

“Why did you leave so quickly?” Lucifer asked.

“I tried to saved Sam from an awkward discussion...” Cas explained and Lucifer nodded, understanding. It was not in his intention to put Sam in the middle of all this. He just happened to be there at the wrong time. “Second, I'm not... I don't think I'm ready for this. To talk about the connection we could create between us, in front of Dean...”

“But... you said you love me, didn't you?” 

Before Cas could answer, Lucifer putted a hand on his cheek, trying to reach for him again. His grace responded, reaching too. And for him it was a clear enough answer. When their grace touched, it felt like a revelation. It was faint, it was distant and what kept them from truly touching frustrated him. But it was all he ever wanted and Castiel was exactly what he needed. It was so obvious, so natural, why would he try to find it somewhere else? 

“I'm right here” Lucifer murmured.

A sob escaped Castiel' lips, and when the archangel focused on his physical form again, he could see that he was crying. That was not what he was expecting... but he knew the touch of grace, although weirdly prevented by some sort of barrier, could be overwhelming. At the moment he was full of affection and want and envy and love. Things he wasn't used to feel but that were amplified by his bond with the little one. So it wasn't surprising that Castiel was feeling more guilt and regret and sadness. Because of him. That was what he shared with him.

Lucifer kind of blamed himself for that. But that was all he knew and had to share that was not brought to him by the angel. That was why he pulled him in an embrace to try to comfort him. He wrapped him in his arms and tried to focus on all the good feelings he could communicate through his grace.

“I can't choose, Lucifer...” Cas whimpered. “I just can't...” 

It hit him then. How screwed he was. Because he really thought that the liking Cas took in Dean was a little thing, that it would quickly fade away if he came back and stood by his sides. But he could feel it, through the too faint and weak touch of their grace. The angel' feelings for the hunter were just as intense as their bond, in a human way. And this situation teared him apart. He couldn't bare to see him in pain. It almost hurt more than if he simply chose the hunter. 

He really didn't know what to do because he wanted this situation to be over, for his love to stop suffering, but he just couldn't give up on him. He could never do that. He was attached way too much.

“I know...” Lucifer whispered. “And I'm sorry”

So he just held him even tighter and left him calm down in his arms, hoping to find a way for things to get better.


	15. Blind this Vision of Disorder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the beginning, there was supposed to be only one chapter but it was really too long so I had to cut it in two parts.   
> This is part one.

It was just before night fell on Birmingham. Two groups of people appeared quickly at the same place and occupied an entire street, filling it with palpable tension, like there was something on a whole different level of importance going on. There must have been at least fifteen people on each side. But in the end, much more people were implied when the fight suddenly broke. They jumped at each other' throats as if all they wanted was to slaughter the other group. It was violent like something human eyes had never seen. It was bloody. All they wanted was to kill. And it was dirty for the people caught in the crossfire. Final result: forty two dead. One gravely injured.

That is what the rapport said. And what convinced Sam, Dean, Cas and Lucifer to go check this out. It seemed pretty impossible to be caused only by a lot of repressed anger. So they took the most awkward trip ever in the Impala, with an angel and the Devil riding in the backseat. Devil who didn't stop complaining about their way of traveling. Sure, flying would have been faster, but no. Just no. Out of question for the Winchester brothers. And then Cas wanted to stick with them and it went that way. 

They parked in the parking lot of the hospital of Birmingham to interrogate the famous only survivor. It was suspicious that only this mister Ryan Newton survived this bloody fight, so either he was a powerful being, or the most unlucky man ever. Sam and Dean had some reservation about bringing Lucifer with them to talk to the survivor, but he was very insistent so they finally gave in. 

The receptionist and the doctors seemed to find it weird, to see so many people investigating the same case but in the end they were convinced to accepted it with the brother' fake FBI badges.

When they came into the room, unsurprisingly, the man didn't seem in shape of talking, even less explaining something as freaking out as what he witnessed. He was just laying in the center of his bed, plugged into several machines that were trying to ease the pain of his wounds. Dean then thought that he had to be a very unlucky man in the end. But they needed indications about what happened.

Without a word and deciding all by himself, Lucifer got by his sides and healed him, not too much to avoid raising too many interrogations, but enough to allow him to think a little and express himself. Because he wasn't waiting for human medicine to finally work. He wasn't even sure if it could keep him alive one more week. Really, he was saving him. And the thought that he probably just saved a human without anyone asking him was troubling.

The man' breath hitched, then got steadier, and he slowly opened his eyes, looking in a terrible shape. All his blood had been cleaned by the hospital crew but it wasn't enough to hide the fact that he lost a lot. His skin was almost as white as the sheets that covered his body. His dark blond hair was flat and stuck to his skin because of a high sweating. His brown eyes were blood shot and his lips purple, as if he was freezing, which was weird because: sweating. 

Yeah, Lucifer was absolutely sure he saved the man' life, and a quick look around informed him that every one in the room came to the same conclusion. Though only Dean seemed as confused as him for his good action. 

“Welcome back with us, mister Newton” Sam greeted him with a little smile. Visibly he wasn't so enthusiastic about assaulting him with questions about his traumatic experience right when he woke up. But apparently he was their only lead for the moment and they needed that testimony. 

The man just looked at them for a minute, overly confused. He probably wasn't expecting to wake up at the sight of four people in a small hospital room, especially when he didn't know any of those people. Dean decided to not let the silence hang any more.

“We're FBI” He explained. “We'd just like to know what you saw during the attack and then we will let you rest” He proposed with a smile.

“The attack...” The man murmured, trying to figure out what those people were talking about. Suddenly, every thing came back to him and he widened his eyes and began to shake. While Sam tried to calm him, Cas and Lucifer stood back, just observing things from afar.

“It's alright mister Newton. It's over, you're safe now” Sam said. 

After several minutes, his shaking stopped and he started to talk again. “The attack... it wasn't an attack. It was war. It was slaughter”

“We just need you to explain to us what happened, with every detail you can remember” Dean asked.

“We know this is hard, but this is necessary if we want to be able to stop this from happening again” The younger brother tried to convinced him to talk about his traumatic experience.

His breath became heavy and loud in the tubes connecting him to what seemed like a breathing machine, and after a few minutes of that uncomfortable silence filled with only the artificial noise, he started. “It all... happened so fast. Those... people. They appeared from nowhere, in the middle of the street. They faced each other for many minutes, saying crazy things. They were saying... “He shook his head. “It can't be. I'm the crazy one. I must have hit my head hard enough to make up every thing”

“Just tell us what you think you saw or heard” Cas insisted, because he knew most of the people who saw the truth of the reality of the existence of the supernatural said they were insane. It was just their way to cope.

“Crazy is at a whole different level for us. Believe me” Lucifer added. “You can't say anything that would shock me.”

Mister Newton eyed the two people who just started to speak and then, he decided to start telling what he though he witnessed. “They were talking about... a throne. A war for the throne in Hell. And I swear their eyes were... they were black. Then they jumped into the fight and there were orange light glowing from everywhere and people just passing by were killed in the euphoria. I don't even understand how I survived they... they were demons” He whispered. 

The two hunters and two angel exchanged glances. It was one of the hypothesis that came up in the way to Birmingham but now there was no possible doubt. The demon civil war was becoming more and more intense, and the fights were coming on Earth, and involving humans. It was the moment they did something then.

“I knew you wouldn't believe me...” Mister Newton sighed, taking their silence as an indication.

“We believe you” Sam reassured him. “And we will do anything to stop the demon' attack, you have my word. But in the meantime, you have to heal. Try not to think about this too much and just.. leave it to us”

 

A few minutes later, they all went outside to talk about the case. “Okay so that's not even a question anymore. We have to find a way to put an end to that civil war” Dean declared.

“I'm with you” Sam agreed “But I don't know how we-”

“Please...” Lucifer huffed, interrupting him. “You are asking, when I'm on your team?”

At those words, Cas glanced at him. He didn't doubt his powers or anything, but he still remembered what happened the last time Lucifer faced Crowley. They still didn't solve the mystery of how the archangel could lose this fight. and so he wasn't sure if Lucifer could put an end that easily to the civil war. 

Lucifer met his eyes and seemed to understand what was going through his head, because he precised. “Abbadon kind of holds the place for the time being right? She's loyal to me. When I show up free from the Cage, she'll just give me back the throne.”

“And how will that put an end to all the fights?” Dean inquired.

“I'm their rightful leader. All of Hell will probably just rejoice of my freedom and obey each and every one of my order. And my first one will be: no more trips to Earth”

“That could... actually work” Sam mused. “After all, you are their creator and they consider you as their god”

“Thanks for noticing” Lucifer grinned. 

Cas looked at him, feeling glad. Lucifer was willing to help all by himself. He was doing the right thing, just like he proved it by saving the life of Ryan Newton in that hospital chamber. He felt so much joy that he didn't misunderstood the archangel' intentions. Lucifer met his eyes and smiled at him. He was given another chance and he really didn't want to ruin this one.

“Really” Dean interrupted. “No one see how this could be a bad idea. I supposed you'd just sit quietly on the throne after that? And not try anything?”

“No, of course not” Lucifer replied before looking back at Cas. “How could I stay in Hell when this sweet piece of Heaven is on Earth”

Cas felt his cheeks warm under the attention, while Dean groaned and Sam just stayed silent, secretly slightly amused. But the archangel decided that some things needed to be said between him and Dean, so he took the older hunter with him and walked away to talk privately.

“What do you want.” Dean started.

“I want to settle our own civil war. These kind of feelings are not great for a team” Lucifer explained. 

“Since when do you care” The hunter remarked coldly. 

“Oh you really want me to explain?” He proposed, raising an eyebrow.

“Alright, no. It's just that you care about Cas and all, I get it”

“I don't care about him” The archangel replied. “I love him.”

Suddenly the atmosphere changed, and Dean stared at him, agape. He was visibly shocked, really not expecting this. Lucifer confessed his feelings to him. He didn't see it coming. They weren't that close. Really not. But then he processed and maybe he could say it so easily because he already exchanged theses words with Cas.

“Oh, great... so you guys are official now?”

“No” Lucifer said, with a bitter taste on his tongue. “Because as much as it hurts to admit; Cas loves me just the same as he loves you. So I-”

“He-...” Dean interrupted him, his cheeks becoming a shade of pink. “He what?”

“Oh my...” Lucifer rolled his eyes. “This is hopeless. You boys are just so stuck on your feelings. You just can't admit them, can you?”

“Shut up” Dean muttered, visibly still under the shock of the declaration and now very red. 

So this man could take attention, kisses and sessions of making love with Castiel but couldn't bare the fact that what they felt for each other was love? It despaired him. How could his angel support this? But anyway, what he wanted to do in the first place was trying to settle things for him. “That was not my point” He resumed. “The thing is, these feelings are destroying him because he can't bring himself to chose. So what I propose is: he doesn't”

“Woah” Dean deadpanned. “You must have thought so hard about that”

“All I'm saying is, sure, I would do very well without you. That would be perfect. But Cas doesn't think the same so I'm willing to share if that makes him happy”

“This is so wrong” The hunter accused. “Cas is not some property to exchange one week out of two. You claim you make that decision for his happiness but it's only for you. You don't even know what he wants!”

“HE doesn't even know what he wants” Lucifer argued. “I'm just trying to find solutions”

“Alright. I've had enough” 

Dean just walked away, not even giving any second thoughts about what Lucifer told him. The nerve on the archangel was just infuriating. What did he thought, that Cas was some property they could share? Hell no, they couldn't agree on some sort of custody arrangement. It wasn't correct. And if Cas had so many difficulties to chose between him and Lucifer... then maybe it meant he didn't really love him the way Dean did.

He returned to his brother and his-... what even were they now? The weren't really lovers or boyfriends, since they never talked about being in a relationship after Lucifer returned. But he couldn't see than just going back to the way they were before, just two best friends pining for each other. Didn't the stupid Devil made things complicated.

When he got back to Sam and Cas, he found them discussing solutions to the problem at stake. Lucifer was right on his heals and when he heard then still hesitating, he decided for the group. “I'll just go and do as I planned” 

“That is not exactly a team decision” Cas remarked.

“Maybe, but it's the only one that we got, and that's going to work” He continued, looking at Dean to see if he was still as reluctant as before. But this time, the hunter did not protest. At least not out loud. 

“So you just get there, take the power back from Abbadon, give the order to leave the Earth and come back?” Sam tried to clarify, just to be sure. 

“Yes” Lucifer sighed, tired of repeating himself. Humans were definitely more doubting than demons. “That's all I'm going to do. I'm a Devil of my words” 

“I'll go with you” Cas said, trying to ignore the way Lucifer was now smiling at him. He didn't want to go with him because he missed him or any other personal reasons of the kind. He just felt that things would go faster with him by his sides and at the moment, things were rather urging. Plus, he was certain Sam and Dean could handle the situation on Earth just fine.

“Alright then” Lucifer replied, quite pleased with himself. He could do it by himself just fine but really, it was all about flying everywhere, trying to find demons that would know where to find Abbadon and only then, the fun part would begin. The most of it was basically investigation, and it was boring. So he wasn't going to say no to some company, especially not Castiel'. He took the angel' hand and they flew together to some place with a strong Hell vibe.

Dean tried not to read to much into this. It wasn't Cas choosing Lucifer over him. It wasn't them running away together. It was just a rational choice, because it wasn't very likely for two humans to go to Hell with them. The winged beings would be much more efficient. It was all about the civil war. 

Sam sighing next to him and walking to the impala, ready to go home, brought him back to his senses. Right, they had things to take care of. So he climbed in the driving seat of his baby and took off, ready to do what they did best. Hunting demons.

 

After looking for traces of demons, Sam and Dean finally decided that demons definitely left the city. Apparently they had enough with the fight that just went down. So they went back to the bunker, ready to take a little rest. 

Or this is what the thought, because as soon as Sam pushed the door, he could feel that something wasn't right. He immediately went into a fighting stance and ran down the stair, Dean following right behind, feeling an urge of panic running through his body. Something was off and he couldn't push away the fear that something could have happened to Kevin. That fear didn't falter when he saw a figure at the table of the library and the clatter of a glass being posed on the table.

“Finally you're back” The figure said with that recognizable rough voice and British accent.

“Crowley” Dean hissed, still not over the fact that the little son of a bitch could have escaped their dungeon. Because of that and his thirst of power there was a demon civil war spreading on their World. But at least that meant they could put an end to it right now. He rose the angel blade he got.

“Please” Crowley rolled his eyes, raising up from his seat. “I did not came here to fight”

“Then why are you here?” Sam asked without lowering his guard. 

“Well...” The demon clasped his hands in his back and took a few steps around the library' table, seeming hesitant. “This hurt to say but... I need your help”

“Because you think we would help you?” Sam huffed.

“Obviously not. Not if I came empty-handed” He precised, and with a snap of his fingered that had Sam and Dean jumping with anticipation, someone appeared right next to him. Linda Tran. The lady looked just confused. “But I have come bearing gifts” Crowley added with a wide grin.

Immediately, Sam' reflex was to reach out to get to Ms. Tran and keep her in a safer place than next to Crowley, his brother covering him. “Go to the end of this corridor then continue to the deepest of the bunker you can. Find the door with a warding painted in black. Your son should be in here” Sam explained to her and watched her nod and walk away.

“I hope this will show you my good faith” The demon continued. “I didn't even touch a single hair on the prophet' head”

“So you're losing on your little power contest?” Dean tried to gather information.

“Not quite. Not yet” He replied. “But I'm afraid it might not last long. And if I lose, well... let's just say that our dear knight of Hell is a lot into the whole “destroying humanity” thing.”

“What changed things against you?” Sam asked.

Crowley seemed to think for a moment, as if debating if he should tell them, or maybe picking the right words. Any way, if he didn't tell the whole truth, the Winchester would never even consider his proposition. So he had to show all of his cards this time. 

“Lucifer is back” He eyed the brothers, searching for a reaction. But finding none, he pursued. “His Cage broke free. I assume it's one of your thing that did it. Such as playing with the Gates of Hell. And with the situation of Heaven right now... Every thing is unbalanced and the Cage weakened for a moment. But a moment is all that was needed”

Sam and Dean listened to Crowley with mid interest. Obviously they already knew that Lucifer was free but it was always interesting to hear some theory about the “how” of the situation. So they left him speak, to let him think he had the upper ground concerning information. 

“Okay, so you think Lucifer's going to put an end to your war and take back control?” Sam tried to precise.

“Maybe. I honestly don't really know. Either he would take back his place on the Throne and carry on with his Apocalypse plan, or he would rather leave the control to Abbadon to continue doing... his things on Earth”

“Wait... you're saying that he could leave Abbadon in charge? Continue to do what things on Earth?” Dean inquired, feeling a little uncomfortable. Sure, he knew he couldn't trust every words that came out of Crowley' mouth but... if he gave him reasons to believe it, maybe Lucifer tricked them and would put an end to the civil war as he said he would, but by helping one side to win. And he basically said Abbadon obeyed him and that he didn't want to stay in Hell. Putting her in charge could only benefit him. If that was the case, then Cas has yet again been fooled and was risking some kind of danger.

“Yes, I think he could because some of my sources informed me that he was looking for her” Crowley explained. “And despite all of my great power, I couldn't face Abbadon joining forces with Lucifer. And about that second part, well...” His lips curled slightly, amused, and none of the Winchesters liked the sight of it. “This part is going to be tough but the bandage need to be pulled off. The Devil's got your angel, boys. I'm your last supernatural help” 

Crowley marked a pause, maybe to add to the drama of the revelation that wasn't really one. Lacking of reaction, the demon continued. “I guess he just didn't feel satisfied with you and decided to go for a more powerful being. But the thing is that now, Cas is at Lucifer' side and he seems pretty devoted” 

Another silence, and he pursued, a little bit annoyed by the lethargy of the brothers. “As in: I'm pretty sure they're boning each other”

Sam just huffed a laugh, because it was kind of funny. So that was how Crowley intended to buy their trust? By revealing to them that their friend betrayed them? Because it really wasn't the case. But it was also sad that he didn't know that they already worked every thing out. Though the stillness of Dean started to worry him. The demon' words could get easily to him, knowing he had all the reasons in the World to doubt Lucifer. To want him to be bad. He really didn't need a reminder of the relation Cas shared with Lucifer, particularly in these very confusing times.

“Really: no reaction” Crowley insisted, seeming disappointed. “Well, this is disappointing. I was expecting a bigger reaction. Especially from you, Dean”

“Yeah...” Dean deadpanned “you're kinda late about that.”

“We already knew” Sam precised. “All of it.”

“Ho” He voiced, taken aback by the revelation. “Then, I guess I don't need to tell you anything more than that to convince you. We happily throw Lucifer back into his Cage and you can get your angel back, and me my throne”

“We won't throw him back into his Cage” Dean sighed. Even if the idea was appealing, he knew that it wasn't the right thing to do. Because first of all, it would probably piss Cas off, if not more, and then it was breaking Lucifer' trust. They were supposed to be in some kind of truce with him. 

“He is kind of... our... friend now.” Sam explained, even if the words felt strange. They didn't felt wrong though. 

“Okay, fine” Crowley conceded. “Don't go against Lucifer. But I still could use your help. She's a Knight of Hell and we all saw how she beat me back in the chapel when you tried to make me a human” He seemed to have goosebumps just at the thought. He eyed his still not empty glass of whiskey and began to explain. “So first, I thought I could use the escape of Lucifer at my advantage and use him to beat her by controlling his vessel. But turns out he already found himself a partner that stopped me from using him as I wished. I need another plan” 

“You won't need anything to beat Abbadon. Lucifer went to her to take back the Throne”

“How?” The demon snorted “By asking her nicely?”

“Er...” Dean hesitated “Well, that's kind of the plan, yeah. He said she was loyal to him.”

“That may be before. But now that she has control of Hell, she'll never give it back” Crowley suddenly blanched and muttered “Oh dear...”

“Okay so he's gonna have to fight. No big deal. It's Lucifer.”

“It is a big Deal, Moose. It is” He finally grasped his glass of whiskey and gulped down the rest of the liquid in one go. “I've putted wards on his body to try to have control over it. But it weakens his capacities and it's even stronger in Hell, where it's been created. I doubt he could even beat an angel down there. And having taken control of my R&D department, Abbadon might even be able to take control of him better than I could”

“Your what?!” Dean almost shouted, because the thought terrified him. He immediately sent a prayer to Cas, to warn him and inform him of everything they just learned. And why the Hell not, he prayed to Lucifer too. But he didn't even know if his prayers could be heard in Hell, and he had no ways to know if they got them. 

That is, until he heard to sound of someone flying right behind him. He flipped around to face a Castiel out of breath and a Lucifer covered in blood. The sight didn't reassure him but at least, they were alive. 

Lucifer' vessel was in shreds, torn apart and literally covered in blood. He held on to Cas like he would hold on to life and Cas supported him as if he was the only thing keeping him alive. They rose their heads at the same moment, and when their eyes fell on Crowley, their expression became murderous. That is, during the second it took the demon to fly away.

The moment Crowley was out, Lucifer' legs gave in and he collapsed. Cas guided him to rest right on the floor and started to run his hands on his body with an expression of intense concentration drawn on his face. After a few minutes of silence when none of the Winchester brothers knew what to do, the angel broke the silence. 

“Why.... Why isn't it working?!” He shouted, fisting his hands in the torn fabric of the archangel' tee-shirt. 

Lucifer putted a hand on his shoulder and raised an eyebrow, but the smile he gave him showed all of his compassion. “You know an angel can't heal an archangel.”

“I know...” His voice almost broke at the end of his sentence, but the way his body trembled with frustration was a clear enough indication of all the things he was feeling a the moment. And the most of it was powerlessness. Himself was injured, his skin was bruised, his clothes dirty and some blood was running down his left eyebrow, his nose and his broken lower lip. But he disregarded all of it to focus on the state Lucifer was in. His condition wasn't important. He already felt his grace starting to work to heal his injuries. But he could only feel the sleepy state in which was Lucifer', and it made him beyond worried.

“I'll be fine” Lucifer tried to reassure the angel. “But I'd like to know what was doing here that poor excuse of a pretender for the throne of Hell” He fumed, fixing his gaze on the ceiling above him to avoid the surely pitiful looks the brothers were giving him. 

“Erm...” Sam hesitated, before finally taking the responsibility of explaining. “He was asking for our help to defeat Abbadon”

“Well he should have thought about this before rendering me _vulnerable”_ Lucifer articulated.

Something seemed to click in Cas' mind, because he finally posed his hands on Lucifer' forehead and chest and his hands started to glow. He figured that if he couldn't heal the archangel, he could try to beckon his grace to start being accessible again. To his delight, the grace responded rather quickly, and the two celestial being exchanged a meaningful look. 

It wasn't a common thing for two grace to be in contact so easily. And it could mean only one thing. Their beings were completely in synchronization. Their grace accorded to each other and were meant to be together. Cas felt the desperate need to reach out and touch Lucifer' grace, feel it, bond it to his, make him _his_. 

But he had to keep his focus. His primary goal was to help heal his promised one. Not claim him right here and now, especially not when the process would burn the Winchester' brains out. He could feel that Lucifer felt the exact same things, but he managed to pull out when he felt his grace buzzing under his skin, stitching it back together. 

Even if the contact was broken, they couldn't tear their eyes off each other, slow understanding settling in. Lucifer felt that if his vessel would obey him, he would have caught the little one and never left him go. But, right. His vessel was still limited. He couldn't be sure of how much it would allow him to do with Castiel, with all those wards tainting his corporeal envelope. 

“Great” Dean huffed, because once again he felt like the two celestial beings shared something that he couldn't even begin to imagine, and a part of him desperately wanted to be part of it. But deep down he was truly relieved that they both were fine. Though he tried to occupy his mind with other things. “I'm going to try to call Crowley back. Maybe he'll deign show himself again and discuss some real solutions”

He walked out of the room without waiting for anything more, and it brought Cas back to his full senses. He wondered, watching him go, if he did something to chase him, and hesitated to follow him before he remembered that Lucifer was still injured. He decided to install him in a more comfortable position in the couch installed in the library. Sam helped him to move him without shaking him too much and then he went to see how was doing his brother. 


	16. I've Lost a lot but I'll still Play Again

A few hours later, Cas was settled in one of the library' chair, trying to find a way for an angel to defeat a knight of Hell powered with all the power of Hell, but he had some difficulties to focus when he could practically feel Lucifer' eyes on him. Suddenly the atmosphere shifted around them, with another presence making itself known. 

Lucifer almost growled when he recognize Crowley' energy before even seeing him. He got on his feet and placed himself in front of Cas. “Well I have to hand it to you: You have some balls” He declared with his usual light tone, as if he wasn't about to tear him to shreds. 

"I have come in peace. As a proof" Crowley threw an iron collar at Lucifer' feet.

"What is this supposed to be?" Lucifer rose an eyebrow.

"Your garments, for the time you would kneel before my throne and pledge your allegiance"

"Ho, really..." He bowed down to pick it up, and frowned "I don't know... Doesn't this color suits you best?" He proposed, handing it back to the demon.

“Alright, enough with the size contest” Dean interrupted with an annoyed tone, just entering the room. He turned to the demon. “I thought you agreed to let it go”

“I do!” Crowley replied with an offended tone. He pointed to the collar. “Am I not giving it up?”

“Giving it up...” Cas repeated, thinking about the words, when he finally understood. His eyes fell on the iron collar that was still in Lucifer' hand and he got that it was a metaphorical representation of Crowley giving back his control to the archangel. Really, he could have made it clearer. But he didn't have the time to exasperated by the demon' sense of drama before expectation filled him. 

He took a few steps forward and put a hand on Lucifer' arm, reaching with his grace. He was hit with all the power of the archangel'. It had nothing to do with his restrained grace. This time, it was free. And it was magnificent. Lucifer met his eyes and realization came to him.

“Cas, it's good to see that you're not human anymore” Crowley pointed out. “You must both feel so glad”

“Oh, yeah” Lucifer turned his face to him, his eyes glowing red. He rose his hand in front of him and the demon felt all of his organs being crushed by an invisible power. He suffocated and blood started to flows from his mouth before Lucifer grinned. “Thanks a lot”

“Hey!” Dean had to gather all of his courage to call out, because the sight was damn right terrifying. Lucifer all powered up, his eyes glowing from power and crushing the former king of Hell as if he was a simple bug. He wasn't against some cleaning done that easily but they still needed Crowley. “Wow, wow. Lucifer, stop it!”

“What?” The archangel frowned, but at least it had the effect of turning the light in his eyes off, and he left go of his target. All Dean could think was how he was glad Lucifer listened to him and stopped, instead of switching his murderous intention on him.

Cas seemed to snap out of it too, because he blinked a few times and took his hand off Lucifer. He was... absorbed by the contact, the closest they have ever been to a real contact between their two being and... no, he had no excuses. He looked at Dean with sorry eyes, then at Crowley with hardened ones. He still hadn't forgiven him, but he knew they still needed his help to sneak into Hell again to face Abbadon.

The demon coughed, took a handkerchief to wipe the blood that was still on his face. He then sighed. "I went through a lot of trouble, and had to create a whole new form of torture to convince the demons that created your flesh prison to go against their queen' orders and break the wards to free you. You could show me some gratitude"

"Sure" Lucifer Nodded. "I won't smite you. How's that for gratitude for trying to manipulate me and attacking me and hurting Castiel?"

Crowley rolled his eyes. "Fine" He conceded. “You are so spiteful”

“Don't test me” Lucifer growled.

As an answer, Crowley threw his hands in the air. He was sassy, but he knew he better not push his luck to far with the archangel. 

 

Finally, after hours of negotiating, they found a common ground. Crowley would get to run Hell, but in no case demons other than crossroad demons shall be seen on Earth. In the end, Lucifer didn't mind who took power in Hell, as long as the humanity Castiel loved so much was safe from an imminent extermination and, of course, he could stay with him.

So the final fight would happen the next day. Crowley disappeared, because he didn't feel like sticking around all night, especially in the presence of Lucifer, and he surely had some other things to prepare. The Winchester brothers didn't wait long before going to get some rest for the next day. But Cas saw the way Dean looked at him just before leaving, as if something he wanted to say but couldn't put it into words. This time, he decided to go after him. 

“Dean!” He called after him in the corridor that led to him room.

The hunter stopped and turned to him with his usual expression of repressed feelings. “Hey. There's something you want to talk about?”

The angel frowned, because there was definitely something wrong. He was trying to avoid something, and Cas feared to understand what it was. He didn't want to face it more than the hunter, but he had to. He couldn't let it weight on his shoulder, especially not with what he was going to face the next day. 

“Dean” He started. “I... We didn't really had time to speak with all that happened. But if you feel-”

“So that's what it's about” He interrupted him, sighing. “I don't feel anything Cas, that's fine” He received the most doubtful look he's ever seen, and told himself that he probably deserved it. “I mean it. It's fine. I understand” He tried to explain. “He's a freaking archangel, the most powerful celestial being, the only would could truly understand you, and I'm a shitty excuse for a human” He couldn't look up. He really wasn't ready to meet those blue eyes burning holes into his soul. 

“Wha-...” Cas almost whimpered, finding difficulties to speak. He couldn't hear Dean say such words. They were so untrue. “This is not what it's about. Not at all. I could never chose between you two, Dean” He found it unbearable not to look at him in the eyes so he putted his hand on his cheek to force him to look into his eyes. He frowned when he saw the almost desperate expression the hunter had. “You both matter too much for me to risk deceiving any of you”

“It's not about deceiving” Dean argued, but looked him right into the eyes this time. Cas couldn't understand, could he? Lucifer told him that he loved him but he seriously doubted it now. Because it didn't seem like it in the moment. “To me, there's pretty much no place for doubt. It's you, Cas. You're the one, and the only one. There is no one else and if it's not the case for you, then maybe what you feel for me is different than what I feel for you”

Cas felt like imploding at those words. They made him feel so good but so miserable at the same time. How could he confuse Dean that much? His feelings were so clear to him but it seemed like there were always problems of communication between them. He wanted to, though. He wanted to show him all the love he felt for him.

“No, Dean, I L-” He was cut by the feeling of lips moving on his.

Because Dean could see it then, and he felt like a huge dick for giving Cas wrong ideas, and ever doubting him. What he saw in these eyes couldn't be wrong. He felt like giving every thing to keep this expression on this face. And he was more than happy to feel the angel melting into the kiss.

When they parted, he grinned at Cas. Because even if he was blown by the kiss, he had that expression of confusion on his face, his eyebrows frowned and his lips slightly parted. Those lips... they were red from their kiss and it took him all of his concentration not claim them again. 

“Keep these words for when you are one hundred percent sure” Dean explained. Before Cas had time to argue, he swallowed his words with another kiss. One of his hand on Cas', still on his cheek, and the other one on the angel' hip. 

Cas moaned into the kiss and that, was a turn on. He pushed against his lips, asking for entrance and Dean gave it gladly, pushing his whole body against him. For a moment, he wondered if what he was getting weren't just leftovers of whatever happened between him and Lucifer when their graces came in contact, but he soon forgot that idea when Cas sucked on his tongue and his hands traveled to pull at his hair. 

He was willing. Ho, so ready to go. But he didn't know how, he managed to break the kiss. What he saw were eyes dark with desire and it didn't make things easier. So he closed his eyes but it only made it easier to feel and it was actually worst. So with all the willpower that was left in him, he pushed the angel away. 

He couldn't. He couldn't allow himself to have sex with Cas when he didn't even know. He had to be sure before that. Of his feelings, of what he wanted, all of that. Dean knew but... the angel had to figure out on his own, or it just wouldn't be fair. The look on Cas' face was only pure frustration so he addressed him a sorry smile. 

“See you Cas” He breathed before taking refuge in his room. He didn't take the time to look or listen to the angel before he shut the door and slid down on it. Fuck. He was really willing and ready to go. And remembering Cas' body heat against him isn't helping him. Fuck. 

 

When Cas finally decided to move and turn around to move, he almost bumped into Lucifer that just flew behind him. He putted his arms around him and feeling his grace calling for him under the skin of his vessel made him shiver. He almost forgot his physical reactions when Lucifer ran a hand in his hair. 

“So... are you joining him or...”

The angel slowly rose his head to meet Lucifer' eyes, and he felt a rush of affection for the celestial being that was holding him for even just offering the choice. But the arms hooked around him told him well enough that it wasn't in the archangel' mind to let him go so soon. And leaving the cold presence was the last thing he wanted to do. 

Lucifer leaned in and kissed him, and Cas could feel his whole being hum with expectation. His grace was practically burning inside him to be freed and finally touch him, to feel him, to claim him. He had waited for way too long, stopped by the wars and the warding. No more. He pulled him closer, pressing all his body against his.

Lucifer pulled out with a smirk. “Seems like you've just decided” He muttered, caressing the angel' lower lip. They suddenly were in another place, in a room far away from the bunker, Cas landing on top of Lucifer. And none of them were certain of whom just flew them but it didn't really matter. 

"I want you" Lucifer breathed.

"Me too" Cas admitted. "How would you like to do it?" He was very fine with both ways, and decided that he would be contempt with whatever Lucifer wanted at the moment. 

But he was surprised to see the archangel chuckling and shaking his head. "Although I have absolutely nothing against having some sex with you right now, this is not what I meant"

They dive in each other' eyes for a moment, taking in the vision they could have of their true form through what humans call "the door to the soul", and understanding that it was true, in a way. Somehow, taking a glimpse of Castiel' true form left Lucifer craving for more. "You can't tell me you didn't feel it when you helped me heal just now... or when you touched me when the wards on my vessel broke... or every other time we touched..."

The angel' breath hitched. Of course he felt it. His grace, his being was incredibly accessible to his own, like welcoming him inside. It took a lot to remember the presence of the Winchesters and his initial purpose at the time. But now that the possibility was offered to him, he didn't see why he would have to hold back. His hand reached for Lucifer' and their fingers intertwined as their grace pushed against the barrier of the flesh at the same place, the same time.

"Yes, I do want it" He said, but didn't have to form the words before they reached his grace and the one that was pushing against his own. They both felt them buzz with relief, happiness, anticipation and, well, love. 

All it took from here was a little push, and their true forms were free. They flew right into space, and Castiel was still impressed by how big Lucifer felt, even surrounded by galaxies. He wasn't that much bigger than him, but it still was the bigger being he's ever seen. 

Mostly because of his wings. His six gigantic wings that could cover entire universes if he putted his mind to it. The unfolded under his gaze, for him only to watch. They were a tainted dark red and black that seemed able to consume anything into nothingness, but his eye caught on a shade of pink at the edges of his feathers and he felt so privileged to be able to see his true colors, he wanted to melt into them. 

Lucifer' whole being was buzzing with the raw power of his grace, and the void around him grew colder with his freezing energy. Though the cold that was in clear opposition to his own burning energy, he found it appealing and welcoming, and so Castiel didn't waste any time before reaching out for him.

Their first direct contact exploded with the power of a collapsing black-hole. Castiel was almost lucid enough to be glad that they were millions of miles away from Earth. He felt swallowed by the power pushing against him. He reached out and out, to feel it more, to dive into it, to mark it. 

It extended its grace to the point that it wasn't sure it knew anymore. Their graces pushed against each other and ended by merging together. It didn't knew where it ended and where the other started anymore, and it felt far beyond what words could express. It didn't even knew if was still _here_. But the presence in and around assured that yes, it was here, and they were here together.

They merged. They _were_ together.

The lining of their grace started to end, and slowly they found themselves again. Although they didn't feel like letting the other go just yet, so they hold on to each other a little bit more. It left Lucifer the time to admire the being with which he just shared his grace. 

Castiel was looming, powerful and free. His wings were expending through the galaxies around them, painting them gray and blue with a hint of purple at their edges. His warmth collapsed against his coldness and created a whole new temperature that was theirs only. 

That's when he felt it, at the edges of the angel' grace. A slow thud, something else calling and puling in a much more corporeal plan of existence. And through the connection they just created and would share forever, the archangel could feel it and, somehow, understand it.

 

When Dean woke up, he found out that he was not alone in his bed. Cas and Lucifer were right there with him and his first thought was “rude”, because he never remembered inviting them. He found out too that he couldn't raise from his bed because he was trapped in Cas' arms, who was trapped in Lucifer'... whole body, actually. 

His second thought was “gross” because the archangel' skin was in contact with his and they didn't have that kind of relationship. 

But then he took time to observe the scenery. Their expression was one of pure peace, like he never witnessed on anyone before. Somehow, it rubbed on him. He felt overwhelmed with peace and joy and affection for the two celestial beings that looked just as sweet and innocent as children. As if they weren't about to fight a war in Hell. Finally it wasn't so important if he couldn't get up.

That is, until he heard his brother knock frantically on the door. “Dean!! Dean wake up! I can't find Lucifer or Cas anywhere, and I refuse to spend one more minute alone with Crowley!”

He heard groaning and bodies shifting next to him, and that was the way his cruel brother decided to pull him out of this moment of pure bliss. 

“hmm..comin'...” He mumbled, to try to convince Sam to stop hammering his door.

“Dean, come on!” Sam didn't gave up.

“Dam it, Sammy! I said I'm coming!” He shouted back, trying to untangle himself from all the limbs around his body. But Cas didn't seem to want to let go, just holding him tighter. “Come on Cas, I'm not a stuffed animal” He complained, but didn't really know why when the angel hummed and pressed his lips against his neck. 

Ha, yes, he remembered. Because priorities. Demon war. Hell on Earth. It took him ten minutes to bring the celestial being back to full consciousness, and it made him seriously wonder what they could have done during the night to end up in such a state.

 

They all found themselves in the map room where Sam and Crowley were waiting impatiently. 

“So, I have bad news” Crowley initiated, fidgeting nervously. “Apparently our dear knight of Hell didn't appreciated your last visit, so she's reinforced the security in her throne room.”

“Yeah, well that's what we're prepared for” Dean asserted. “That's why you've freed Lucifer and we're all going down for the big final”

“No but she really protected herself.” The demon insisted. “As in: She angel-proofed and even archangel-proofed her little shelter.”

“What? How could she do this.”

“I don't know” He dismissed, visibly annoyed. “But I'm sure you will be able to ask her around a nice cup of tea.”

“The answer is pretty obvious” Lucifer declared, looking at all the other in the room as if they were complete idiots. “She had access to the recipe of my flesh prison, which was designed to hold my power. It mustn’t have taken to much to widen it to the size of the throne room.”

“Ho” Crowley acknowledged. “Well then, maybe I could disable it the same way I did with the flesh prison.”

“Yeah, you do that”

“But I'll need a distraction” He precised.

“Seriously” Dean groaned. “You can't even remember how you did it the first time?”

“It's not that simple” Crowley hissed. “You don't know how many Hell years it took to my R&D department to find a way to trap Lucifer in this body. It's a very delicate operation. Suppress the control feature without the “able to hold the essence of an archangel without instant combustion” one was very difficult. You should be impressed”

“But you don't need this for a place, yeah?” Sam asked.

“No, but I still need the formula.”

“We will get you here” Cas consented. “But if Abbadon will really be out of mine or Lucifer' reach...” His gaze fell upon the Winchester brothers, who just looked at him knowingly, understanding what his concern was. “You will have to be quick”

“I'll do my best, but I can't promise you anything.” Crowley proposed, and Cas stared at him, as if he could burn him with his eyes if he wanted it enough. And maybe he could. 

“What. I said I would try.”

“I swear to God, Crowley, that if either Sam or Dean get hurt during the time you take to disable Abbadon' protection-”

“I said I would do my best! What else do you need” Crowley complained.

Cas ended up giving in, because there wasn't any other options. But Lucifer understood what he was feeling, through their new bond. It was nerve-wrecking enough not to be able to help Lucifer, and watching him being beaten down when they went to face Abbadon together the first time. But if one of the brothers were hurt or died by her hand while there was no way for him to help and protect them, he would loose it. 

So yeah, the angel was only lashing it out on Crowley, and it wasn't fair. But it was Crowley so it didn't matter. 

 

They finally came up with a half-made plan that basically relied on Crowley' speed, and took the backdoor to Hell. Because of course, every thing would be heavily guarded. The two hunter had the privilege to get some sort of protection spell against the general atmosphere of Hell that was designed for dead humans and so that wouldn't make them one of those. 

They made their way through layers of torture areas and guarding demons' hordes but it really wasn't a big deal with Cas and Lucifer on their sides. That is, until they reached the area of the throne room. 

“Alright” Dean breathed, exchanging a meaningful look with his brother. “I guess this is where the show goes down”

Cas wanted to say something, or wanted to find something to say that would actually be as helpful as if he could get in here with them and fight by their sides, but his thoughts were interrupted by the sounds and the feeling of demons closing by. “Don't screw this up” Cas growled at Crowley, who already looked fully concentrated. 

“I'll find a way. I know this place as if it was mine.”

“Ho really?” Lucifer inquired, raising an eyebrow. 

“I've been here longer than you.” He acknowledged.

“Point taken.”

“You better move your ass!” Dean shouted.

But he was soon shouting at thin air, and his voice was covered by the sound of demons being smote. So yeah, back to business. The two brothers turned around and pushed open the door to the throne room. Abbadon was here, just chilling out on the old and the blunt looking throne. She still rose her head when they came in, and smirked. 

“Well I was wondering when you would come back”

With only a flick of her wrist, the hunters were thrown across the room and crushed against a wall. Dean had only time to grit his teeth not to scream. It would only be distracting for the people around him that needed concentration. Though, he understood, it was useless. They were already distracted. Cas and Lucifer did a good job holding back Abbadon' army but when the angel heard the sound of bones against stone, he felt his blood turn cold and had to make sure the brothers weren't dead on the ground. 

He crossed Abbadon' gaze and she actually winked at him before extending her arm in front of her. Cas suddenly felt pushed into the throne room by an invisible force, and he found out that the same thing happened to Lucifer. Other than that, they weren't injured. So what, did that meant that she actually gave them an opening? 

The angel didn't wait to find out, and he concentrated his grace to hit her. But something was off. He couldn't feel his grace. Well, he could feel it but he couldn't get to it, and an exchanged gaze with Lucifer informed him that he was in the same situation. So that was how the warding worked. He decided that it wouldn't be a problem as both celestial beings took their angel blades in hands, ready to fight. 

It was a very slow progress to make, through the armies of Hell with only a blade. But at least they managed to take that weight off the Winchester' shoulders. Because they needed their whole focus on their fights with Abbadon. 

Sam tried to get up quickly, and grabbed the demon blade a little bit tighter. He couldn't loose it right now, even if he knew it wouldn't be of any use on the knight of Hell. At least, it would buy them some time. He wished with all his forces that Crowley would be quick because he didn't know how long he could keep this up. 

He ran to her and apparently she didn't want to loose too much time, because she hit him hard before he even had the chance to aim at her. He was thrown against a pillar of the room and could hear something break inside him, but he wasn't sure what it was.

“Sammy!!” Dean shouted, before grabbing his weapon and throwing himself at Abbadon' throat. Right, they needed to stall some time but it would be useless if they died before. He didn't even know what would happen if they died in Hell. So no, he wouldn't let the knight of hell hit his brother harder.

At the sound, Cas felt panic surge in him, and he had to look behind him. He saw Sam injured, and gathered all his will to fly to his sides and heal him. But he couldn't. 

Orange light flared before his eyes, and he crossed Lucifer' disapproving look. 

“Stay focused” He harshly reminded him, pulling his blade out off the dead body of a demon that was going to get him with his back turned. 

The grip on his blade tightened and he nodded before going back into the fight.

So Cas fought, but he could hear the sounds. And Heavens, that was the worst. He could hear the hits given, some body parts cracking, but he couldn't see. He couldn't be sure. He tried to tell himself that, as long as none of the brother cried the other' name, it was a good thing. It wasn't much but it was all he had.

“Dean!” Sam gasped, breathless.

And this time, Cas couldn't hold back. He looked behind him and he saw Dean, held by the throat in Abbadon' grasp of steal. He was out of forces and bleeding from several injuries, but still trying to wriggle out of her grip. Sam seemed unable to move from his position, him too severely injured. 

Abbadon' eyes were glowing faintly and she was smirking, and it pushed all the wrong buttons in the angel' mind. He felt pushed by the wave of panic invading his body, and more by reflex, he tried to hit her with all of his power. 

Except that, it worked. A wave of power ran out his extended hand and hit her, projecting her away from the hunter, who fell on the floor but looked alive enough. The panic went away as quickly as it went in, and he felt very grateful to Crowley for having worked fast enough.

In his back, Lucifer understood at the same time as him, and he felt so glad to feel his power in his reach again. 

“Thank Dad” He muttered, before smiting all the demons facing him with the maximum of his power. 

He looked at the corpses with a satisfied grin. It always felt good to remember that he was one of the most powerful beings ever created. Not many things could get to him.

“Alright...” Abbadon observed, as if she wasn't completely screwed. “I guess it's time to see if I can avail a bit more Crowley' R&D' innovations...” She was almost trembling when she pulled out a weapon from her belt and aimed with it. 

"A gun?" Lucifer rose an eyebrow. "Wow. You are desperate" 

All she accorded to him was a smirk and then, she fired. He heard the sound of the shooting filling his eardrums but it was only a human weapon. So nothing to fear. His eyes only followed the bullet because strangely, it wasn't aimed at him. It all happened almost too fast for him to see. So for the others here in the room...

It hit Castiel' sternum with a cracking sound and, strangely enough, he seemed touched by it. Actually touched. With an expression of pure shock on his face, the angel took a few steps backwards, as if it was because of the shock of the impact.

Then. The bullet wound started to glow. Castiel fell on his knees.

Stop. Every thing. Just stopped. The humans and the demons stopped moving around Lucifer. Time stopped. 

All he could see were Castiel' wide eyes distorted in pain. And his body going limp and giving up under his weight. All he could hear were his short gasps for air, or anything else. All he could feel was this hitching feeling at the edges of his grace, slowly increasing in intensity to the point that it almost burned him.

He froze. A simple shot froze the freaking Devil in place.

He didn't hear Dean scream Castiel' name followed by several angry and panicked "NO!"s. He didn't see the hunter fall on his knees to grasp the angel in his arms and hold him tight as if he could keep his life from going away.

He didn't hear Abbadon chuckle and shoot again.

He didn't hear Sam yelling, in worry and rage over his friend' wound. He didn't see him taking cover behind one of the pillars of the throne room and begging his brother to do the same.  
  
All he could see were Cas' eyes filled with pain and understanding. The angel was weakly trying to push the hunter away but failed miserably as he was loosing all of his strength and Dean just wouldn't let him go. Not again.

Lucifer' body and eyes were slowly lighting up, and he felt like something inside him was being burnt up and torn apart, leaving him impossibly empty. He knew it could only be one thing. His bond with Castiel was burning. 

Castiel was burning.

"No" He mouthed, but no sounds came out. It couldn't be happening. 

Well, obviously, yes. It was happening. It just, was not important. 

He didn't took notice on how he made Dean a protection from the knight of Hell' shootings with his own body. "Dean, let go of him" Lucifer warned. 

The hunter huffed, but it was only to choke the sound of his sobs. His hold on Castiel' wound tightened even if the grace leaking out of it was burning him. His eyes, the same way as the archangel', never left Castiel. 

"You do something" He croaked. "Or just go the Hell away"  
  
Lucifer hissed when he felt something hit him. But it felt like nothing compared to the storm going on right inside his grace. "You, stupid monkey, know nothing about what is going to happen" He roared "So you better-" he was interrupted by a low whimper he managed to hear through the sound of the fighting.

Cas was looking at them with pleading eyes. He was holding his last breath, and suddenly he knew that he had to use it. To say something. And there were so many things he wanted to say and make them understand. "Don't hate yourselves". "Don't hate each other". "Please don't be mad". He needed to let them know. So he took a long, shaking breath and tried to look at the both of them through his vision becoming whiter and whiter.  
  
"I love you..." Breath in. He looked at Dean and Lucifer. "...both of you..." With trembling hands and a vessel buzzing with the energy of his grace slowly withering away, he tried to grasp Dean' hand on his wound. Breath out. "Please..."

A single tear escaped his eye when suddenly, he couldn't hold on anymore. His mouth and eyes lit up as a deafening scream echoed in all of Hell. His grace burned out for what seemed like eternity. And Dean didn't let go of him. Even if the energy was burning, and was going to leave a scar he already knew the shape of, he wasn't going to let him go. 

Sam would have wanted the time to do or say something, but he found an opening in the scenery. The knight of Hell seemed captivated by the show that was the death of an angel. He took a deep breath to try to calm his shaking body and jumped at her. He managed to knock her weapon off and retrieved it. Before she had time to do anything, he shot her. Her screams meddled with his angel friend' that started to fade, and he couldn't bring himself to look up. So he closed his eyes. At least, he would have done that for Cas.

Dean didn't see. He kept on holding Cas in his arms as he died. As a huge part of his World died. For a cause that wasn't even his. 

Finally, finally, the light dimmed off. The burning radiation of exploding grace replaced by a cold void. 

He knew. He felt without looking. The ground below him, and his body and soul were marked by the print of Cas' burnt essence.


	17. My Darkness Paradise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for those who don't like it, but this chapter is still pretty dark. :/  
> I don't know why but guess I wanted to explore the idea of mourning.   
> But no worries, this should have a happy ending, eventually. x)  
> I also have to apologize for the delay, sorry about that too! :X  
> Nevertheless I hope you still like it!

It burned him from the inside, with the intensity of every single sun and supernova burning in the infinite space. A piece of him had just been torn out and away from him, and what was left of him had wanted to go with it, because it knew every thing was meaningless without that part of his being.

“Cas?” Dean voice cracked. “Cas... Castiel! Come on, don't do this to me! CAS!!”

Lucifer sighed loudly, because all the whining was getting on his nerves. It was not like crying over the corpse of the angel he loved would fix things. 

But for some reasons he just. Couldn't. Look away. 

"Fine" He decided. "very well" He turned back to the abomination and only seeing her form twisted his whole being. He felt like leaving his grace be settled free and burn every single living thing that ever existed at the moment. Every single one. 

Abbadon was withering on the ground, at Sam' feet. She had her hands on the bullet-hole on her hips, trying to hold on. There were occasionally orange sparks that would leave her and make her grunt, but she was pathetically trying to stay alive. That better work for a long time, because the archangel wasn't close to be finished with her.

The younger Winchester, just like the older, didn't move anymore, except for the trembling that had taken his hands in which he was still holding the gun that shot Castiel. Lucifer' body started to tremble too. His eyes were glowing a bright red and he summoned all the grace he could for what could be the most painful revenge he would ever get.

He finally started taking steps to the knight of Hell, and her whole body shook with fear. Right, because she was facing a furious, mad with pain and full-powered archangel. And the more Lucifer' steps were confident, the more she tried desperately to crawl away. 

Lucifer stopped just a foot before her, and she just seemed about to pass out from fear only. That, it made the archangel laugh. Ho, she didn't even saw the begining of it. He heard Sam shift uncomfortably behind him, surely because of his creepy laugh, but he couldn't bring himself to care at the time. 

“Don't worry, I'm not going to kill you” He whispered. “No, I'm not going to be _that_ cruel” His hand lit up in a blinding light that surrounded the both of them. He bathed for a few second in her horrified cries, but he figured he might have to eventually let her go and suffer her agony all alone. When it dimmed off, she was no where to be seen.

That, was done. But it didn't feel as good as it should be. He figured it must have been because he couldn't be there to see her agonize for eternity. He turned around and headed straight for where Dean stood, still sadly holding the empty vessel. Lucifer stopped right above him, and waited. 

When Dean slowly rose his head to look at the archangel, his voice was broken. “What did you do to her...”

“Ho, I only punished in the worst way that was ever created” He answered lightly. It still felt a little bit good to talk about her punishment.

“You...” Sam took a few hesitant steps toward them. “You were able to reach the Cage?”

Ha, of course he would understand. Sam, always the smart one. “Yes. We've never been closer to the door, actually. And it's still weakened from the angel' fall and all the trouble in Hell. But don't worry, I closed it well behind her.”

Sam knitted his eyebrows together and was about to add something when another voice came out behind them. 

“So, what did I mis-” Crowley interrupted himself. He just saw the empty body still held tight in Dean' arms and the print of wings burnt into the floor. “Bollocks! How could you manage to save both of the humans but lose the angel?”

Lucifer felt the sudden need to crash something between his teeth. “You will have your R&D department to thank for that” He growled, turning slowly to him, his eyes already glowing bright red.

“Hey! Don't look at me like that!” He argued, seeming almost pained. “It's a shame, really... I grew quite fond of Feathers myself...”

“Yeah. Well we all have, didn't we? You must feel so... bad...” Lucifer said threateningly, before he heard someone sniff and his eyes fell on the figure of Dean. He was like trying to fight back the tears with his eyes closed. He still held what was left of Castiel in his arms, the dead angel' head held against the crook of his neck by a hand fitted in his dark hair. Lucifer' light turned down at the sight. “You should be rotting in the Cage right now...” He muttered.

The archangel didn't do anything more, though. He knelt down and putted his hand on Castiel' back. There was a rush of wind and the next second, they both were gone.

 

Dean almost collapsed on the sudden nothingness in his arms. “Wha-” He whimpered, before looking confusedly around him. There was nothing. This all could be a dream. But he was violently brought back to reality when his chest and arm burned him with his first movement to look around. His eyes fell on the shape of wings burnt into the floor below and his flesh. 

A hand led on his shoulder, and raising his eyes he crossed Sam' gaze, they were nothing but full of understanding and compassion. His brother just lost one of the best friend he ever had, and was almost as heartbroken as he was. He had no more reasons than him to drown in his pain. He knew, it had to happen one day. Ha had to lose Cas, just like anyone else. But the Winchesters still had each other. 

His train of thoughts was interrupted by the sound of someone sighing close by. “So, I guess it's my responsibility to bring your boys back home now...”

Right, Crowley. If this son of a bitch had shoved his fucking ambition where it belonged, none of this would ever have happened. There would be no body to hold Lucifer' essence, he would have stayed in the Cage and him and Cas would have come back together, as always. Without him, there wouldn't have been any angel bullet to kill the angel he loved. 

Dean tried to raise to his feet but he felt suddenly his chest and shoulder and arm burning him. He gritted his teeth to prevent himself for crying. The pain brought back images of burning grace and they didn't stop to play in his head. He thought the wound would scar quickly, but he figured that there were ones that surely could never heal entirely. His legs wobbled under him and he was seduced by the idea of just letting go. Letting every thing go.

Strong hands grabbed him and made him stand up, and he felt infinitely grateful for the support. Sam' voice rose next to him, hoarse but surely less shaky and weak than his older brother', if he had wanted to snap back at the demon.

“Lead the way”

They followed him in silence, holding each other in one peace. It seemed that they were both too injured to walk on their own so they took support on the other. Hell was silent, almost too much to be just bad. When they were coming, there were constant noises of fighting. It wasn't great but it was something. Now, it seemed devoid of life. There was nothing.

When they arrived before a massive looking door of rotten steal, Crowley stopped. “Well... It was a pleasure doing business with you.” He declared, turning back to them with his mouth turned slightly upward. That alone was too much for Dean. But all he did was scowling at him. He wished he could do more. He just didn't find the strength in him.

“Yeah” Sam huffed. He warned in his brother' place. “Behave Crowley. Or we'll take care of you”

“Of course, I wouldn't dare” The King of Hell replied, with an unconvinced tone. His eyes landed on Dean. “Furthermore, you seem to have enough on your plate right now.”

The hunter didn't have the time to think about telling him to fuck off. He felt suddenly pushed by some invisible force, and he was suffocating. Through his blurry mind, he understood it was the warding against Hell' atmosphere that must have vanished. He closed his eyes because the pain of the injuries he got fighting Abbadon, the pain the scar Cas' death left on his body and the pain of his loss came back crashing on him at once.

When he reopened his eyes, he was back on Earth. And the pain was almost gone. Not really, but it was far less intense than during the trip back to the land of the living. He figured his body really didn't like the trip without the assistance of an angel and an archangel. 

Dean' eyes slowly accustomed to the light difference, and he almost lost it. They weren't anywhere near the bunker. He had no freaking ideas of where they were but he was pretty sure it wasn't Lebanon. Baby was safe and sound in the bunker' garage, there were no vehicles they could steal around, they were standing in the middle of a lane that seemed to go on for hundreds of miles, they didn't know what direction to take and they were drained of energy. Practically bleeding on the asphalt. 

“You have to be Fucking KIDDING ME!!”

“Hey Dean, Dean...” Sam supported him, though he could see through his eyes that him too was on the verge of breaking down. “It's alright. It's going to be alright...” He repeated like a mantra, and with these words, they started to stumble home.

 

The scene they met arriving at the bunker made them both freeze. They only passed the iron door when their eyes landed on the map table. There was Cas' body resting on it. Dean felt the urgent need to throw up. He just looked asleep, and it was way too much. He had a fucking pillow under his head. The hunter just felt like drinking himself to sleep. He didn't have the strength to think about all of this.

Sam looked at the body, then at Dean, but he didn't say anything when his brother started to guide them to the stairs. Though he voiced his mind when they entered the library next to the map room. Books were spread everywhere on the floor, some ripped off from the bad landing, or by a pure act of rage. Lucifer was between the shelves, looking frantically through a book, next-to-be victim of his recklessness. 

“What the Hell Lucifer?! What are you doing?”

“Researches” He said, not according them the privilege to raise his eyes from his book. Though, it seemed that he could feel the state they were on, because he sighed and then, the brothers were surrounded by a bright light. When it faded, all of their physical pain was gone.

Dean huffed loudly and left himself fall down on the nearest chair, while his brother still tried to understand the archangel' actions. 

“I thought you said you already had all the existing knowledge in your head?”

“Well obviously, I didn't” Lucifer snapped back. “Because I didn't know about those fucking angel bullets!”

A heavy silence fell on them three, during which each of them could only look at the floor, overwhelmed by the violent reminder of their grief. Outside, the sky seemed to growl with the strength of a storm. Which wasn't surprising, seeing the dark clouds and heavy atmosphere they came back to.

But Sam started to wonder if it had something to do with the archangel' mood. He watched Dean, still lying quietly in his seat. Himself felt more comfortable hovering around the threshold, even if it meant he was closer to the body. 

"You couldn't know" He said quietly. "We couldn't. Nobody could"  
  
"I'm freaking Satan!" He groaned and harshly closed the book he was holding. "I should have been capable to, at least, protect him!"

"Yeah, well now it's too late" Dean spat. "So what the fuck with the researches and the freaking pillow"  
  
"Ho, that..." Lucifer seemed to just remark. "I wanted to grant him some comfort for when he would wake up"

There was a pause in the discussion, and Dean felt like something just broke inside him as he realized that the archangel was just delusional, and that he, too, could have reacted like that. 

"He's not coming back" He muttered.

"What are you trying to say" The archangel articulated, not really asking a question but rather giving him a chance to take back his words.

"I'm saying that he is not coming back!" He repeated, shouting as he jumped from his seat to take a few steps around. He passed a hand over his face. "He's... he's gone, Lucifer. Gone."

And Lucifer just chuckled. "You're so stupid. You still haven't figured it out? Castiel never truly dies. There is always something to bring him back. And even if... I couldn't-" 

He breathed, trying not to recall the hours when he tried to reach for Castiel with his grace. When he desperately tried to heal his body and grace and bring him back. But his being had burned up. There was nothing to heal. There was nothing left. 

"-It'll probably just be dear old Dad." He shrugged the thoughts away.

Sam winced at these words. They seemed so unreal, it pained him. He knew Lucifer had lost his faith in God a long, long time ago before the Apocalypse. So why would he decide to believe in him now? To try to hold on to something? Seeing his brother and Lucifer so helpless was so wrong. But again, so was Cas being killed. So was having to face Cas' corpse. 

"We can't keep him like that..." He cleared his throat.

"Sammy's right" Dean agreed, so grateful that his little brother managed to keep his head on his shoulders during these... god-awful times. He stopped stomping in the room and eyed what he could see of the map room. "We have to get him the funerals he deserves-" His voice broke at the end of his sentence, because the angel didn't deserve any of this.

Dean' train of thoughts was interrupted by Lucifer flying between him and the room where Castiel laid. 

"You burn his vessel-” He threatened, his eyes already glowing their nightmare way of glowing. “-and I'll burn you miserable planet" 

“Lucifer” Dean groaned, but the archangel wasn't in front of him anymore. He found him in the map room, next to Cas' body, staring at him as if it could bring him back to life. “Lucifer, there's not coming back from his state” Since the archangel didn't even rose his eyes, he carried on, walking to him. “Each time before, he was brought back right after. And it's been _hours_ ” His voice caught in his throat as his eyes fell on the pale face exposed on the table. He then successfully adverted his eyes. 

“I understand, believe me. I do. Fuck, there's no one else in this universe who could understand what you are going through. But you gotta... let him go” 

But the archangel was being a stubborn son of a bitch and Dean was so not able to do this right now. He tried to reach for him, extending his arm. “Lucifer! Listen to m-”

“No! You listen to me” Lucifer interrupted him, grabbing his arm with much more strength than necessary. “You don't understand half of how angels work and how he could be still here.” 

This time, he looks him in the eyes, and Dean half wished he didn't because he could read all of his pain in this position, the pale shade of his skin, the dark circle under his eyes and the redness in his eyes that all seem so human. Human pain. It twisted his guts to see Lucifer like that because he figured that he mustn't look so different.

“You've always been the one to give up to your desperation. I'm Not.” Lucifer spat, dropping his grip on the hunter' wrist “I'll find out where he's... rebuilding himself, and I'm bringing him back” His gaze turned to Sam. “I'm going. Don't you dare touch that body”

He flew away, leaving the brothers alone, and Sam just didn't knowing what to do. Lucifer' threats might just be real. And they couldn't risk to unfold the rage of a grieving archangel on Earth because they didn't have the same rhythm to accept the death of loved ones. He crossed his brother' eyes and his blank expression made him shiver. 

“Awesome” Dean grunted before rushing past Sam, in direction of his room. He didn't miss though, how he grabbed the whiskey flask the Men of Letter kept in the library before he went to lock himself away from any social interaction. 

He could understand. He understood and he wished he could do something. In the meantime he was the one stuck with the ethic dilemma of what to do with Cas. 

 

The sudden brightness almost blinded Lucifer, but it didn't stop him from flying right into Heaven' throne room. He heard several shocked gasps in his way but he dismissed then. He didn't came to show his face. He reached the throne room without any trouble but when he was about to head to the Source, he was stopped by an annoying voice raising in his back.

“Castiel said you would not be of any trouble. So how do you call breaking and entering in the most guarded places of Heaven?” Ameniel remarked, standing at the massive door with his arms crossed, as if it would make him look more menacing. 

“I call it owning the place” Lucifer replied, pissed to be interrupted. He turned around just to notice that the angel was actually escorted by two other angels. “Cute. You need friends just to have the courage to ask me one question?” 

“Castiel is dead” Ameniel reminded, just to throw Lucifer off. 

And he was ashamed to admit that it worked. Every time he was told, every time his name was mentioned, it felt like a blade was being buried into his heart. That was why he had to bring him back. “So what” He spat.

“We all are aware of your...” An angel in a blond male body hesitated. “The bond you shared.”

“I didn't know you were into voyeurism” Lucifer commented.

“And, we suspected you would come back to fill the void his death would create in you. There is no need to turn Heaven upside down. Castiel is not here” Ameniel cleared for him.

“Ho you don't know that” He argued.

“Yes! Yes we know. Because we actually live in here. His grace has faded away. He no longer exists, Lucifer. So swallow up your insolence and accept the fact that you will have to lose things you love like anyo-” He was interrupted by the sound of the snap of fingers and the fact that he just exploded.

“Oh... Shut up.” Lucifer growled, but the two remaining angels weren't speaking, not daring moving a muscle after seeing what happened to their whole new kind-of-leader. “Go away” He snapped when he met their fearful eyes, and the moment after his wish was granted.

He was left alone. And just glared where Ameniel once stood. He was not helpless. He was powerful. He could kill full-powered angels with a snap of his finger; He could bring one back.

“I don't need your opinion”

 

“Seriously what is happening?” 

Sam rose his eyes from his laptop to meet an exhausted looking Kevin, hovering in the kitchen' door. He looked worst than ever and the hunter started to wonder if it was because of share sympathy or something like that. 

“Is the World ending again?” He asked with a desperate tone.

“What- no!” Sam replied, frowning. “You... you don't know?”

“I'm kept locked in the depth of this bunker, in case you didn't remember. I wasn't even sure you were back from Hell” Kevin reminded him, heading for the fridge to find something to eat. “I mean, I didn't see Dean for a few days, but I discovered that he locked himself in his room and it generally means that something really bad happened. And I consider myself lucky to find you here. Because you weren't in your room or the library when I finally dared to leave the studies of the Tablet and-”

“Cas's dead” Sam broke it to him without warning up. He was not sure he could talk about it for hours when the memory was still fresh in his mind. But, well... someone had to.

“Ho shit” Kevin sputtered, almost dropping every thing he was holding. “Does Dean knows?” He asked, but corrected himself before Sam had the time to do anything. “Obviously he does, and that's why he's locked himself- Shit, shit, shit.” 

“Hey! Hum, you're holding okay?” Sam asked with a raised eyebrow, because he didn't know the prophet cared that much.

“Yeah... no, I mean... It makes much more sense now” He mused, before dropping down on a seat close to the hunter. “A few days ago, er... I probably should have told you sooner but... I was pretty freaked out to see Lucifer when you assured me that I should be safe from him”

“You-” Sam turned his whole body to face the prophet. “Lucifer came to you?”

“Yeah he did. He was... well, all the kinds of terrifying you expect from the Devil. And he made it pretty clear that I had to speed up on the translation of the angel' tablet.”

“Why?” The hunter inquired, but he knew already the answer.

“He wanted me to find something about the death of an angel, or more like how to prevent it. I didn't try to know more because... you know, when the Devil orders you to do something... But now that I know Cas is-”

Kevin is interrupted by a deep sigh, and they both turn to see a ruffled looking Dean, still in his robe. “Waking up to hear this, that's just great” He grumbled, looking angrier with life than he's ever been.

“You're up.” Sam remarked, a hint of hope in his voice. 

“Yeah, well don't get your hopes to high Sammy.” He said, walking to the fridge. “It's just that I'm out of fuel.” He opened the door and fumbled through the different shelves before he found what he was looking for: beers. He took as much as he could in his arms before heading to the door. 

In the threshold, he stopped and turned back to look at his brother. “Hey... what'd you do with Cas?”

“I...” Sam cleared his throat and tried not to notice how Dean' eyes were pleading. “Putted him in a spare room” Dean' face suddenly turned stone cold, and he tried to justify himself. “I didn't know what to-”

“'sfine” Dean mumbled, before tuning on his heels to leave. Though he was stopped by an archangel popping right in front of him. He didn't have the motivation to jump and scream in surprise. “Lucifer...” He fumed.

“Dean” Lucifer deadpanned, before turning his attention back to Sam and Kevin and taking a few steps in the kitchen.

The prophet was trying to disappear in his chair. Lucifer asked him to do something and he seemed in some kind of hurry. Kevin understood then that it wasn't urging in the primary sense of the word, but the archangel was impatient nonetheless. So yeah, the fact that he didn't make any progress and that he wasn't working right now made him worry that he might be killed in the next second.

“Sooo...” Lucifer initiated. “I found a lot of nothing in Heaven.”

“Shockers” Dean snorted right next to him.

“Didn't I already told you what I thought about your opinion?” The archangel hissed.

“Yeah. And I'm still giving it to you, because it's the freaking universal truth” He replied, and didn't shiver when Lucifer glared at him like he was going to rip his body in pieces the next second. “You're not making me back up from this. I know what you're going through, and you know it too.”

Lucifer rolled his eyes, because he was tired of always hearing the same things. Didn't those boys believe in the supernatural? And they both came back from the dead on multiple times, just as Castiel. So what was so different with this time?

“Lucifer! Look at me man!” He was forced to when Dean left go of the bottle his has holding and grabbed his wrist. “You loved him, and he's dead, and it destroyed you. I know.” He croaked, finding difficulties to catch his breath. His throat felt too tight to talk. 

“But all you can do is live through the day without him. And it sucks, I know it does.” His voice faltered, and he tried to ignore the wetness in his eyes. 

“But you have to carry on, find something else to do, something that would make him proud-” His breath was shaking, and he had to take a few second to catch it. 

“It hurts like a bitch. But eventually, the pain goes away. And if it doesn't,” A tear rolled down his cheek. “you feed on that pain, and it makes you stronger. But you don't... You don't throw it all away. You don't do the same thing that destroyed you” 

By the end of his tirade, he was softly sobbing, but the determination in his eyes didn't change. His face was distorted with sadness but his eyes were still trying to pass on the message, though crying. 

And it kind of intrigued Lucifer. He reached with his grace, just to try to understand. And it hit him. His soul itself was hurt, damaged from his loss, worn up at the edges. In a comparable way to the damages that the burning of his bond with Castiel did to his grace. 

The archangel jerked away from the contact, but didn't drop his gaze. “You...” He muttered. “You don't...” Failing to find the correct words, he huffed and flew away without a word, just like he came.

Dean blinked when he was suddenly facing nothingness. He wiped angrily the tears rolling down his face. Right, he was weeping in front of an audience. But he just hopped it would be enough to convince Lucifer to finally grief. Because he couldn't possibly stay strong when the archangel just wouldn't give up. Avoiding the looks he received from Sam and Kevin, he turned away and went back inside his room.

Is wasn't like anything mattered anymore. 


	18. You Know, I just wanna Be with You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey every one! :D  
> Thanks for reading this far.  
> It is then the last chapter, and I don't realy like endings x) I couldn't come up with something that I found satisfying but, well...  
> Anyway I hope you will like it :)

 Loss.

There was this immense void all around him.

There was nothing until stars started to explode along with his anger and pain and loss. His being expended and stretched in a way he never experienced before and acknowledging the pain, he understood why.

As a human could say: “It hurts like a bitch”.

But it was not just a matter of hurt. It was a matter of loss, of something missing, of a being then devoid of energy and life, but not dead. Missing the opportunity, missing the existing. Much more than the human could voice.

He was powerful, in a way the stars around him could only dream off. Their radiating energy were tiny fractions of what he could create in a day. They were ashamed, ashamed because they only existed in three dimension, whereas he did in so much more. Then why could they still exist and not he?

Not able to face such a shame, the stars started to collapse on themselves, only feeding what was already nourished, and leaving behind what really needed to be saved. He covered them with his storming and corrupted grace, covered entire universes. He bathed in their agony, appreciated the energy they surrendered, and in exchange, he left them taste his own agony, left his sorrow exploding through the realms of their existence.

This was how they were going to die. It didn't matter.

Then, came the voice he engraved in his grace. “Lucifer... Lucifer.”

On the physical plane of existence, he was curled on himself, crying until there was nothing left in the body to cry. Why, he wondered, the sorrow seemed so much more overwhelming in the corporal plan of existence? Maybe he couldn't understand. Maybe nothing needed to be understood.

But then again, maybe the human perception is limited.

 

“Hey, Sam. You need to check this out.”

Sam stopped in his tracks on the way from his bedroom to the bathroom. “Dean?” He checked around him, because he swore he just heard the voice of his brother, in the middle of the night. He maybe had a nightmare? He walked to Dean' bedroom and, okay, that was weird. He wasn't the type to leave his door ajar, even if unlocked.

“Dean.” He called again, slowly pushing the door open. He didn't want to intrude or anything, and he knew too well that his brother needed rest. Yet, there he was, sitting cross-legged on his bed with his laptop on his lap.

“Yeah it's me. Who else?” He replied, not tearing his eyes off the screen. “You need to come see this.”

Hesitantly, Sam walked to his bed to look at the blog articles his brother was looking through. He had to squint his eyes due to the too bright luminosity of the screen in the middle of the night. “What are you doing?”

“That's not obvious? Looking for a case"

“Dean-”

“Gotta keep ourselves busy, Sammy.”

“Dean, it's been three weeks” The younger brother tried.

“yeah, and?” Dean then rose his head and looked at him with a frown. He was paler than usual, there were dark circles under his eyes but other than that... he seemed... better, for the lack of more fitting words. Reading the worry on his little brother' face, he sighed. “I'm fine”

Understanding that he would not talk about himself more than that, Sam dropped the subject. He's been trying to coax him to talk ever since he'd snapped at Lucifer. But it seemed to create something else in him. Since this day he's been burying himself in work, never taking a break, never showing any sign of emotion. Like a machine. And Lucifer's been on radio silence. It seemed like there was no way through them.

“What did you find?” The younger tried to get him to talk, even if it wasn't about him.

“Some astronomy crap” Dean answered with his business tone. “Some stars dimming in unnatural ways, some of them not following their usual courses, and...” He turned his whole body toward Sam. “The moon”

“What about the moon?” It was his turn to frown. He was intrigued by the link the case had with space, but there wasn't much they could do, and it didn't really affected Earth or its inhabitants.

“It stopped turning. Lots of things are going side way in the World because of that. Natural cycles, even major energy sources are quickly losing their stocks.”

“...and we didn't even notice because we were to busy hunting vampires and wraiths” Sam noted, and Dean just shrugged. “So, what do you think?” He asked, not really feeling like it at such an early hour in the morning, even if the whole case was seriously concerning.

“Dunno” Dean shrugged again. “Demi-god? Maybe even a God?”

“I thought Lucifer took care of most of the pagan Gods, and kind of intimidated the others too much to do anything while he's on Earth”

“Yeah, well he does a pretty crappy job”

Sam tried to ignore the obvious venom in his words. “You have an idea where we could start looking?”

Dean nodded, and showed him a map on his computer. “All this area, lost its vital energy. All plants withering, animals running away, people with a constant feeling of dread. I think it looks like a solid lead.”

“Alright” Sam sighed. “We'll check this out first thing in the morning.”

“It IS first thing in t-”

“You know what I mean, Dean. Even you need a minimum four hours of sleep” Sam tried to convince him, already heading toward the door. He stilled and turned to his brother when he didn't hear anything in reply. He just stayed there, eying the void. “unless...”

“No” Dean interrupted him, seeming to get out of his trance. He addressed his little brother a half-smile. “No nightmares.”

Sam stood in the doorway, debating with himself to decide if he had to say something. He knew his brother was lying to him. It wouldn't be a first. After Dean lost Cas to the leviathan, and after that in Purgatory, he always had troubles to rest because of nightmares assaulting his mind. It wasn't hard to connect the dots and understand that he was suffering from them again.

But there was little he could do. It wasn't like he could protect his big brother from sleeping. Because he needed to sleep. So he just kept silent and just walked away. He supposed that if he wanted to deal with it by diving in his work and shutting himself from any sort of feeling, so be it. He just hopped it wouldn't last too long, it wouldn't destroy him.

Dean closed his laptop, maybe with more strength than necessary, and tossed it aside. Sure, he could sleep. He could always use some sleep. It was a good way to gain forces and absolutely not a waste of time. It's not like it reminded him of all the night he spent fitted close against his angel. Absolutely not. Shit.

He covered his eyes with his arm, trying not to let his heart feel to much longing. He had to occupy his mind with something, anything. Otherwise, his heart would look for something to fill the loneliness of his heart. Before, it always has been with a prayer. He could not. Not anymore. Or he could, but he would be left without any answer, and it would be so much worst.

“Erm... Dean?” His brother called again, his voice seeming even more hesitant than before. He wondered what could possibly leave him in such a state of uncertainty.

“Yeah, still not asleep since the last ten seconds” He replied.

“Did you...” He heard his voice coming right outside his door, then his door being pushed and he lifted his arms to actually look at Sam. It wasn't hesitation he could hear in his voice. It was more like he was sure of something but wanted desperately to be proven wrong. “Ha-have you been... to see Cas lately?”

That is the moment his stomach twisted, and he swallowed the need to throw up. He hated that they had to keep Cas' corpse within the bunker' walls, he hated that they just putted him in a bed, like he was just recovering from some injuries but most of all, he hated that he couldn't find the strength to land an eye on him.

“Gross, Sammy.” He replied, but his voice was hoarse. “Why d'you even ask that?”

Sam closed his eyes and bit his lower lip, as if he was about to tell Dean that he killed his puppy.

“He is not in the bedroom anymore.”

 

Lucifer' vision returned, and the blurriness that bothered his eyes was gone. With a movement of his hands, the tears were wiped of his face. His body unfolded and his grip on the little one' body was lighter.

Castiel was lying on an altar, facing the withering sun, bathing in its dying energy, and the archangel kneeling next to him couldn't look away. He could hardly believe that life had left him, that what he was looking at right now was only a flesh envelope, devoid of any meaning.

And yet there were obvious clues, such as his skin, not so tanned anymore. His eyes were close and Lucifer could have thought he was only sleeping but his chest wasn't rising at the rhythm of his respiration, and there was the gaping wound in the center of his chest.

A single, one stupid bullet had taken the angel away. And Lucifer had been right here. He was right next to him, right on the trajectory, but he only watched it happen. And it had taken Castiel, had left Lucifer alone, with this void in his grace, this burn in his core.

He could still... pretend. He pretended a lot in his existence. He liked to pretend, to play, to... yes, some people called it lying. But not him. So he could pretend Castiel was still here.

He gently putted his fingers on his skin, straddled his cheek, his jaw, his chin. He carressed tenderly his lips with the tip of his finger, thinking of what he would do if Castiel was still with him. He leaned in and closed his lips on his.

But it was not right. They were cold, and distant. They did not move to meet his, they did not try to taste him back, and he couldn't feel anything past them. Not the power of the grace of an angel, not the weak buzzing of a rebuilding energy, not even the soft glow of a human soul. Hell, he would have taken a human soul anytime instead of this. A human!

Yet Castiel' body was warmer, it was slowly taking in the energy it was given, wasn't it? It fed on the dying Sun and surrounding stars, even on the archangel' grace. So why wasn't he back yet?

Why wasn't he back yet?

“Why are you not...” Lucifer murmured.

He sighed and left his head fall backward, facing the sky. “Why are you doing this to me?!” He voiced louder this time, trying to reach a consciousness that left him so many millennium ago. He was only playing with him. Lucifer could understand. He was sure he could. If he could see the fun in this. There was none, and he was starting to feel tired.

“Why did you do this to him...” This form of fairness was twisted. He was seeking some form of justice for him but mostly for Castiel.

“Father” Lucifer jerked up at the word. “They are coming. The Winchesters are closing in.”

“Ho... good. Then, you can... ” He vaguely gestured his hand on front of him and acknowledged what the demon just told him. They knew what they had to do. Of course the brothers would try to fix the World once again. Hey, maybe they could try together.

The archangel turned back to the angel, and tried to ignore the tiredness he could feel deep in his bones. He felt exhaustion. That was the bottom of the pit. He really needed to success. He had no other choice.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard the sound of fighting and when he turned around, he could see the Winchester brothers held by his demons.

“Hello Dean. Hello Sam. How are you?”

“What the Hell Lucifer?!” The older yelled, still trying to fight the grip that was preventing him from moving.

But Lucifer could see his impetuosity falter when his eyes fell on the altar behind him.

The younger had these puppy eyes, and was looking at him as if he deserved his compassion. He really didn't. Lucifer only needed time and power.

“I knew something was off when we saw the demons. But this...?” Sam shook his head, or tried with what could be allowed by the demon holding him. “What are you even trying to do?”

“Well... You know how an angel's essence is as powerful as the core of a star?” He asked, and understood that he didn't need to explain more when their face became much more distant.

“Alright” Dean finally breathed. “and killing the planet in the process?”

“Well, wake up, Dean! Not every is black or white.”

Dean huffed, and from where he was, Lucifer could perfectly see how moist his eyes were. “I want him back just as bad as you! But I'm pretty sure he wouldn't want you to destroy a solar system for him.”

“Ho you didn't know him that well.” He replied.

The moment Sam opened his mouth to say something, he immediately closed it.

There was surprise and shock in his eyes, that intrigued Lucifer. He wasn't even looking at him. When his tired mind proceeded that the hunter was looking at something behind him. His grace fluttered with hope and he turned around.

It wasn't Castiel who stood there. It was Michael.

Lucifer shouldn't be too surprised. The Cage faltered, and he broke free. It was very likely that his brother did the same. It was the first thing he thought about when he understood he was free. But he didn't understand why he never saw or felt him before, and why would he come here and now. Michael was in a vessel he didn't recognized, maybe a far removed cousin of the Winchester. Maybe it was what took him so long to make an appearance.

“Lucifer” Michael' voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

“What” He only sighed, but was pretty glad his presence shut the hunters' mouths. “You want to fight? Get in line”

“I am not here to fight” He replied, and his eyes fell briefly on their true vessels.

Dean swallowed, really not ready to live this fight all over again. Though a tiny part of him never stopped murmuring. It would be so much easier if he just left go.

“Nah, I won't let you do that” Lucifer warned, and, okay, Dean didn't expect it. “This one seems to work” The archangel waved his hand in direction of the sandy haired young boy he was possessing. “leave these boys alone”

“This is not the reason I am here either” Michael insisted, and slowly rose his head toward the Sun in the sky. “What are you doing Lucifer?”

Lucifer hesitated, looking slightly to the side. His determination didn't falter. He just... didn't expect to face his brother, not like this. “Fixing things” He simply said.

Michael looked at him again, tilting his head in a way that made his heart ache. “This won't work, and you know it.”

Lucifer shrugged it off. “I have the source of power, and traces of him. I just will have to try and try again until I succeed.”

“And how are you going to do this without the receptacle?”

“What do you...” Lucifer frowned, and followed his brother' eyes looking intently in his back. Only to see that no one was lying on the altar. “Michael...” He growled, his eyes already glowing.

But he met no reaction from the archangel. He was only staring at him, into his grace, into his being which, he knew, was now missing a part. He quickly understood that none of his threat would be taken seriously by his brother. They were now weak, because he had learned to care about the consequences. He hated that.

“You have changed” He finally said.

“Yeah... loosing the angel you're bonded to does that to an archangel”

“I have seen Father.”

“Tss. Yeah, sure” Lucifer scowled.

But meeting Michael' eyes, he was suddenly doubtful. “What did he said to you.”

“That you have to stop. This is not worth it.”

“Shut up. You've never been in love.”

“Stop using this as an excuse”

Ha, Lucifer finally saw some emotion in his eyes. Annoyance.

“Castiel loves this planet. And humanity.”

“Let me guess: Dad told you that?” Lucifer nagged.

“Yes”

Michael voiced with determination, but Lucifer could see that there a hint of uncertainty in his features. And on Michael, it meant a lot. He rose an eyebrow, waiting for an explanation.

“He didn't exactly told me, he didn't exactly came to me. But I could feel him. He crafted me this body. And this is what He transmitted to me.”

“What does he wants?” Lucifer sighed “For me not to kill this planet? He didn't even care when it was the Apocalypse.”

“He wants us to be happy, and therefore he decided to grant us a wish.”

Lucifer took all of his volunteer not to laugh right at his brother' face. Their Father wanted them to be happy? It had to be some sort of joke, and a really lame one. Because He never really cared about them. He created them, and watched them destroy each other for His own entertainment. Sure, He had some sense of drama, but this was too much. Lucifer felt so confused and angry and deceived and betrayed, and yet he felt expecting and hopeful. Some weird and guilty sort of hope.

He felt too much.

A tiny smile tugged at the corner of Michael' mouth. Shit.

It was some pretty holy shit indeed.

“Dean” Lucifer urged, suddenly remembering the humans' presence. “Take off your shirt”

Dean only blinked. “Excuse me?”

“I said: Take off your shirt.” Dean frowned deeper, seeming slightly disgusted, and Lucifer felt the urge to slap him. “Dammit, check your Dad-Damn chest!”

The hunter' eyes widened as he was hit by realization. He jerked his arm free from the demon' grip, who just stood still from the moment Michael appeared. And Lucifer was pretty sure they were desperate to run away.

Dean pulled the collar of his tee-shirt to look at his scar-less chest. “Holy son of a bitch!”

Maybe it was the way he was used to pray, because the second after, both of the demons that were holding the Winchesters screamed in pain and their essence burned in a magnificent light, according to Lucifer. They dropped to the ground and behind them stood proudly the angel he loved, eyes glowing with his full power and shadows of his wings spread on the building' wall behind him.

“...Cas?” Sam was the first one who found the strength to speak.

“Yes” Is all the angel answered, a small smile tugging at his lips.

Cas extended his hands to the brothers to help them get back to their feet. But through the blurriness of his eyes, Dean could see he wasn't as strong as he pretended to be. His stance wasn't as proud as always, and he seem distressed. He guessed it was just normal, since he was just brought back from the dead.

“It's good to have you back Cas” He said, taking his hand and support on it to raise to his feet.

The angel gazed at him for several seconds and the hunter returned the attention, almost not ashamed that all his emotions could be read on his face. Distantly, he guessed that Sam rose up too, but Cas didn't break the eye contact. He suddenly felt like crying because Gosh, how he had missed this. So if he didn't let go of his hand, there was no one to blame him.

Then, he remembered that there were other people in the room other than his love just back from the dead, such as two archangels, including the Devil.

“I'm sure you could have just asked them to leave” Lucifer teased, looking at Castiel.

He could hardly believe Castiel was really brought back to him, but he had to. Because it happened. He felt so happy at the time, happy and thankful and if was odd to experience. So he just acted on a casual manner. As the human got all the resurrected' attention.

Castiel finally looked at him, thanks to his comment. Or rather, because of. Immediately, his stance straightened into a more offensive one, his shoulder slightly hunched forward, his chin ducked and his eyes distant, cold. He gave Lucifer the murderous look and it was enough to make a chill run down his spine. And the angel didn't say anything else. But the archangel was sure it would be just as sharp as his eyes.

Instead, Lucifer tried to reach through their bond, the one he felt so relieved to feel again when the angel was brought back.

He pushed away. Castiel pushed him away, refusing to let him inside. And maybe it hurt more than to know he could never see him again. Lucifer just didn't understand why the angel was reacting this way. He was the one to thank for the fact that he was brought back. Okay, his Dad too. But He wouldn't have done it if Lucifer didn't so desperately needed it.

“Hey” Dean' voice brought both celestial beings out of their thoughts and storm of emotion. The hunter looked between the two of them with a frown, hesitant. “Hum... Let's go home?” He proposed, quizzing gently Cas' hand in his.

The angel looked at Dean again, all animosity gone, and he nodded. It was enough for Lucifer to snap out of it. So that was it? They went back to what they always knew, living him behind just to be the good old Devil? Sure, he sort of lost it when Castiel was dead, and he almost destroyed a solar system to bring him back but... it wasn't that bad. They had no reasons to be mad at him. He knew they could understand.

Dean looked back, and seeing Lucifer look so distraught somehow pained him. And even if just a few minutes ago he was ready to kill them, he guessed he knew how loosing someone so important could change a man.

“You're commin' too. We're so not letting the Devil roaming the Earth freely”

It was pretty pathetic but at these words, Lucifer felt a flutter of hope right in his heart. Even thought the little one kept on throwing daggers at him with his eyes. At least he could still try to understand and make the apologies needed.

He was about to walk to them when he felt a hand on his shoulder. “Brother, wait.” He turned to look at Michael. “You don't have to go with them. You can come with me, to Heaven.”

“You are going back to Heaven?” Lucifer asked, narrowing his eyes. “Why now? You could have helped with the rogue angels sooner.”

He accused, remembering all the times he had to fight his brothers and sisters, gone mad by their time spent on Earth, the loss of their wings... Michael was their rightful leader. If he had showed up sooner, there wouldn't have been such a mess. Not like Lucifer minded messes, but it putted Castiel in dander, being the center of his brethren' hatred.

“I know, I...” The archangel sighed, looking embarrassed. “I was trying to find our Father. But now I think it's time to go back and try to make things right, clean our home, realize the wish our Father accorded to me. Would you help me, brother?”

He genuinely hesitated for a second. The offer was appealing. Go back to Heaven, the place he was banned from for so long. Lead, as he was created to. Here, on Earth, he was always seen as an enemy, the Devil. Not the archangel anymore. And Castiel... turned his back on him. So why not go home?

“No thanks” He said.

Lucifer tried not to read into the small smile that appeared on Michael' face before he flew away, not even with a goodbye. He guessed it was just his brother, always ignoring other' feelings. He had to think he just made his own decision. To stay, and try to make things right.

Lucifer turned to the Winchesters, angel included, and the former blinked, as if he was surprised by what he just witnessed. But the second he locked eyes with him, he turned away and started to walk, taking with him the hand in his and the human attached to this hand.

Alright then, he didn't understand why the little one was so mad, but they were going to change that.

 

The bunker was filled with cold war vibes. Since they had returned, Cas refused to talk to Lucifer, of even initiate some sort of eye contact, and it made things really weird for Dean. Even though he didn't really had time to be worried about it. He tried to stay with Cas as much as possible.

It only became weird when the archangel tried to interfere, to get the angel' attention. He pretty much did nothing else than bother them, but Dean understood something was very wrong in the way things went, and they needed to talk. Though Cas seemed to be hardly against it.

The good thing was that it was for the best that Lucifer stayed with them. They had restrained his grace and power with enochian engraved handcuffs and Dean was still surprised that it went so well.

“You are serious with the handcuffs?” Lucifer had asked him, pointing at the iron material with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes.” Dean had just deadpanned.

The Devil had just sighed loudly and rolled his eyes before asking. “Would it make you feel more comfortable?”

“Yes” He had insisted.

“Then fine” The archangel had conceded, extending his hands.

He had hissed when they were being locked tightly around his wrists but he hadn't fought back more than that. From then, he had only been wondering in the hallways, hands tied up and looking for something to say.

 

Finally, one day, Dean woke up in an empty bed for the first time since Cas had been brought back, and when he went to the kitchen to get something to eat, he heard voices coming from the library.

He recognized them for being Cas' and Lucifer'. He wasn't sure why but in a way, he was glad they finally got to talk a little bit. He loved the angel but he was just a stubborn child lately. He wasn't saying that Lucifer had to be forgiven for the fact that he almost destroyed humanity again, but maybe just-

Maybe he deserved compassion. Maybe he deserved another chance.

“What?! No! All I did, I did it for you!” He heard Lucifer argue, and it was enough to convince him to turn around and head right to the kitchen without trying to hear more.

Even from his place at the table in the kitchen, he could distantly hear them and inside, he pitied Sam, thinking he was probably trying to avoid every thing in his bedroom. He could make out their arguments from where he was.

Cas' were basically “You can't try to destroy humanity the second I'm gone”, “You went over your head”, “I really thought you changed” and “You almost killed the people closest to a family I have”

And Lucifer' were actually just one, “I only did it for you”, trying to prove he had only good intentions, and asking again and again for another chance, the last one, the most important.

According to Dean, he was running short in arguments and Cas must have been seeing it. It would never work. It wasn't the kind of things to be forgiven just so easily. Heck, under other circumstances, Dean would never have thought a second about trying to think it never happened since it all came back to normal. But it wasn't that easy, and that's why the moments the voices stopped, he went to grab two beers in the fridge and sat at the table, waiting for the one of them who would come to the kitchen.

He watched as Lucifer entered, raised his eyes at the hunter, sighed and with a defeated expression, left himself plop down on the chair the closer to the door. “I think I fucked up” He just said, staring somewhere in the void.

“huhuh, no shit Sherlock” Dean replied, because what did he really expect? That he could try to kill every humans on the planet? Even if it was for Cas, he would never forgive him.

But there was something in the way Lucifer acted... he seemed so weak, it felt too weird. And in a way, Dean could understand. He did some pretty stupid things to try to save the people he loved. Well, he didn't almost destroyed an entire Solar system, but then it was only a matter of scales, right? If he had the knowledge and power of an archangel, maybe in desperate times he wouls have gone so far. So he grabbed to second bottle and put it in the archangel' hand.

The next second, he found himself in the great outdoors, on some sort of hill facing a pretty nice valley with lots of colored flowers and all. It was surely pretty, but his mind was occupied with a total different thought.

“Huh...” He had only the time to say, before Lucifer interrupted.

“Ha.”

His eyes traveled to the point of contact of their two beings, the bottle of beer between their two hands. He flew them right back to where they were before.

“Awkward failed retreat” Lucifer cleared his throat, but gladly took the bottle of beer.

“Seriously?!” Dean finally snapped, pointing at the handcuffs still locked around the archangel' wrists. “They were useless? What, just liked them?”

“Yes” Lucifer just said, but seeing the shocked expression on the hunter' face, he precised. “No liking them. I just wanted to stick around and I knew you wouldn't let me if I didn't wear them” He sighed. “Not that staying was very successful in then end.”

Dean looked at him opening the cap of his bottle of beer and he felt some sort of sympathy for the Devil. He reached out to take off the handcuffs, because why the Hell keep them on if they were useless? He putted them on the kitchen table, receiving a nod from the archangel.

“Much better, thanks” Lucifer sighed at his own words. “Urgh... things were so much simpler when I didn't care if what I did was wrong or right.”

Dean cleared his throat. “You know... I fucked up too. So many times. Did wrongs things being sure that they were right... Every one does that. But somehow, Cas always finds a way to forgive me and we all come around. All you gotta do is show your real intentions. Be true” He looked at him expectantly.

Lucifer just rose an eyebrow, not seeming very convinced. “Please... You know I'm all about the truth? Deepest, darkest desires and secrets spoken out loud when no one else dare to admit them?” He reminded with a small smirk, and somehow it already reassured Dean.

“Just. Speak. With words. Or grace, whatever.” He dismissed with a wave of his hand. “But if he loves you, it must be for who you are. So just.. be it.” Drinking a sip of his drink, he noticed what he just said. And he definitely didn't want to be that sentimental with the Devil. He tried to find an escape door to the true talk “Even if I don't really understand what he could possibly like in you.”

“Please, I'm irresistible.”

“Yeah” He snorted “Genocidal archangel with the revolution issue with God. Note taken.”

“Well you're not so bad yourself, self-loathing alcoholic with miles of daddy issues." There was a beat, and then Lucifer smirked. "Ho...”

“What.” Dean raised an eyebrow.

“I just found our common point. Problems with creators. Guess it's his type.”

Dean couldn't hold back a smirk. “Well in that case he's just as fucked up as we are.” He raised his bottle of beer in Lucifer' direction. “To stupid fucked-ups in love.”

Lucifer snorted “I can dig that” He replied before clinging his bottle with his with him.

Maybe it was weird, but Lucifer really wanted to make things right and Dean wanted to help him. Anyway, since when his life was following the normal course of things? Maybe, after seeing the archangel passing through tough times, he could understand him better, and kind of appreciate him. So if Cas wanted it, he wouldn't be against some sharing.

It didn't seem so weird and out of question anymore. And he had to admit that he did consider it after Lucifer first proposed it. The most important was Cas' hapiness, not Dean' pride. The hunter could perfectly see the way Cas was absent by times, longing for something. He knew it was nothing he could give as a human. He knew Lucifer had that missing piece. Surely, with some (God damn him) sincere and opened discussions, they could make it work.

They had to thank the timing, because it is right after they finished their beers that Cas entered the kitchen. Though when he saw Lucifer, he rolled his eyes and started to turn away.

“Cas, wait” Dean called to him, and the angel turned to him with a look of surprise. “Erm... maybe you want to stay? To talk and finally try to make things right between you two?”

Cas eyed him for a moment, before he shook his head. “I'm sorry Dean. I didn't know this affected you”

“Huh, sure. Just... take a seat and explain yourselves calmly”

He gestured toward the chair next to Lucifer', and the angel sat down, without looking at the archangel. And it all just seemed so unreal, to see the angel being so stubborn and the archangel so helpless. And he, in the middle of all of this, trying to get people to talk about their feelings.

Dean shook his head, understanding that this would be hard. None of them began to talk. “Lucifer? You want to start maybe?”

The archangel eyed him for a moment before turning to Cas, trying to get his attention. But the angel was just fixing Dean and he interrupted him before he had the time to open his mouth.

“I know what he has to say and I don't need to hear it anymore.”

“Come on, that's really not the spirit Cas” Dean explained.

“Well I don't care, because I don't want to hear anymore.”

Cas replied, and in his eyes, their was maybe a hint of pleading. Maybe he really didn't want to hear the things that could hurt him too much, those that hurt the ones he cares about and made them blind. Maybe it was because he didn't have the strength to turn his back on their misery.

And Dean was sorry, but they needed to pull this out. “All you need to do is understand the other' point of view, to understand-”

“I understand!” Cas blurted. “I already know we are important to each other because of the bond we share, and I know how much my death destroyed him. I know he was broken and felt like ha had lost every thing and had nothing to lose."

Dean blinked and stared, not expecting this, this... deep analysis of Lucifer' state of mind when he wasn't even there with him. It had to mean something. They knew each other too well. Or he was completely misunderstanding. But the look the archangel gave him kinda told everything. One of pain and guilt, yet mixed with a deep affection, that he would have to eventually accept on calling love. So he knew. Of course he had to know. And Cas didn't stop. He juste kept on stoming out everything, as if the words hurt him like he saw it happening.

"I know it reminded him the time when he was thrown into the Cage, and that he decided that he would try to do anything for the things he cares about." The angel took a shaky breath, as though he needed it for some sort of support. "I know how frightening it was to lose the feeling of our bond, and how powerless you felt. How scared you were to be brought back to these times of loneliness and Darkness, and that you needed me but I-”

Cas suddenly sopped, realizing he had just started to actually talk to Lucifer. The two most important beings of his life were staring at him expectantly, and he knew there was no way back. He breathed, trying to calm his body' heartbeat. It was exhausting, trying to pull away from their connection, not letting any of his feelings pass through. But he had to do it, even if he really didn't want to.

“I give you chance after chance” The angel turned slowly to Lucifer. “But it seems like you use them all without ever trying to actually change. And I… I thought you changed. I thought I managed to show you the perks of humanity, that you could see its beauty and care about it. But I was wrong. I don’t know if you can change anymore”

Cas managed to pull the words, and he knew they hurt Lucifer just as much as they hurt him. But he wasn’t done. He still had to say the most painful. 

“I don’t know if I can be with you anymore”

Lucifer breathed, and opened his mouth to reply, but found nothing to say. 

He was right. Castiel was right. The moment a tiny rock appeared on his path, the archangel came back to his old self, reckless and uncaring self. Did he even try to change at all? Did he even deserve all of these chances to begin with? Sure, every body deserves a second chance, but Castiel gave him dozens, and every time he deceived him. He definitely didn’t deserve it. 

“Lucifer” Cas called, before the archangel could drown in his guilt. It wasn’t what he wanted. “Tell me something. Anything.”

“I love you Castiel.” Lucifer disclosed, maybe more to him than to the little one. Sometimes, he needed to remind himself that he was allowed to feel. “I- I can change, I swear. I can change… But it’s just… not suddenly, just make an 180 degree turn around. I’ve been rotting in that state of mind for more than… hundreds and hundreds of years. I can’t change my mind set in less than a month.” 

He rose his head to meet Castiel’s gaze, to try to show how sincere he was about this. “But I definitely can if you leave me more time… And it’s not a deal or anything. It’s a… promise. I will try, and I will give it every thing I have. But for that, you have to give me a last chance. I swear, the last chance.”

“I love you too...” Cas whispered. “But I-”

“Alright” 

Dean interrupted him, and the two celestial beings looked at him, surprised. They didn't really expected him to intrude in their conversation, and they sort of forgot he was in the same room, too focused in their talk. 

“Seriously? What d'you guys want?”

They could try to hide their grace or whatever but when they were focused on the astral plane, they totally left their emotions visible on their faces. And this, Dean knew how to read. And it didn't take a lot of efforts to understand. They wanted to be back together real bad. Lucifer had that desperate lover face, trying to get his partner' forgiveness, and Castiel wore that stubborn frown that completely left see that he really wanted to forgive his lover but couldn't because he had principles. 

“Well...” Lucifer began, locking eyes with Cas. He didn't need a lot of time to think, regarding every thing that happened. “I just... want to stay with you.”

Dean nodded, and looked at the angel. “Cas? What do you want? And, please, forget about the rest. Just focus on your desires.” 

He felt a little nervous, even if he wasn't the one who had to answer. He just feared the answer. What if he refused to be honest with himself? Or worst, What if the angel finally admitted that he wanted Lucifer, and only Lucifer?

“...I-” Cas found that he couldn't speak, and looked alternately between Dean and Lucifer. He genuinely didn't know what he wanted. Or rather he knew, but didn't know how to express it. 

That's when he saw Dean' gaze soften, and he put his hand on the angel'. The physical contact was grounding, and he was grateful for it. Maybe it was because he felt more stabilized thanks to Dean, but he felt then very clearly all of Lucifer' thoughts and wishes through his own grace. Their bond was still there and even if he tried, he couldn't ignore it any longer.

The angel exhaled, ducking his head. “You thought... and I thought too, for a long time, that I didn't know what I wanted. I couldn't. But it came clear to me then, that all along I actually knew. It's not that I didn't know who I wanted between Lucifer and you, Dean. It's that I knew I wanted the both of you.” 

He took a shaky breath, his lower lip trembling a little. He realized what he was implying was disrespectful of their feelings, and he was still surprised to notice how much he could be ashamed of himself. 

“But this is selfish of me and I know I can never be the one you both expect me to be so... I-I'm just not worth your love. I'm not worth it. Maybe... Maybe I'm the problem. Maybe everything is so difficult because of me.”

Lucifer sighed loudly, and got up from his chair. It came clear to him then, what the angel wanted. And he would never try to refuse it. If Cas was torn between two things, he just had to take both. But apparently he was held back by his vision of good and bad. Lucifer still could try to change that with some shock therapy. 

“Actually... you might just be right.”

“What?” Dean articulated. 

“Yeah, I think what you just said completely changed my point of view about you. My feelings were faked by the fact that I thought you were worth my affection. And all the speech I just made about wanting to change for you… Meaningless. I'm sure Dean thinks the same too.” The archangel turned to the hunter. “All of your love wasn't real, right?”

Dean frowned, not immediately getting what he was trying to do. But seeing his expecting yet assured look, and the expression of shock and confusion on Cas' face, he understood. He nodded. “Yeah, maybe” He rose from his seat and walked to Lucifer. “Maybe Lucifer and I don't need you. Maybe we would be better without you”

“We should try” Lucifer proposed, looking the human in the eyes.

Dean glanced over Cas, only to see that he was staring at them, frozen. “Yeah...”

The hunter turned to Lucifer, grabbed his collar and crushed their lips together. Even if he was surprised by his bold action, Lucifer decided to play with it when he heard the sound of a chair scraping the floor, and a loud gasp coming from Cas. He cupped Dean' cheek with a hand and putted his other hand on his hip, trying to deepen the kiss.

The moment their lips touched, the angel felt struck by lighting and jumped on his feet. His eyes were wide and his mouth agape, and he trembled slightly. The sight was too much to take in, and yet he could not turn away. Watching them, he slowly understood how he had just been played. The two beings he loved more than anything were making out in front of him and this was all sort of wrong and right at the same time. 

Dean broke the kiss and looked at him. “Shit, I think we broke him.” He muttered.

“Ho...” Lucifer pulled away and tried to reach to Cas with their bond. He found that the channel was fully opened. “Ho no, believe me, he really enjoys what he's seeing.”

Dean grinned, relieved that their little plan seemed to work out. “Cas?”

“I love you both so much.” Cas blurted out, staring at them, before he registered what he just said and blushed furiously. “How could you do this to me?”

“Well, geez, I don't know.” Dean rolled his eyes.

“Maybe because we both love you just as much” Lucifer replied at the same time.

“The point is: we are ready to give it a shot for you” The hunter precised, seeing that the angel still hesitated. 

Cas was once again at loss for words. They came over their adversities just for him, to try to make him feel better about his feelings? He knew how much Lucifer despised humans, and all the reasons Dean had to hate the archangel. And yet they just kissed, for him. He definitely wasn't worth them.

“So what, you want to join?” Lucifer asked expectantly. “Dean's nice but I love you best.”

Cas finally left himself be carried by his feet and walked to them. “I'd love that”

Seeing the faces of his lovers was a beautiful enough reward. He hated himself for being so dense and making them wait so long for him. But he would make up for it. He passed his arms around them and held them close. As he felt arms close around him and kisses trail his skin, He thought this was it.

The angels were back in Heaven, with their old and rightful leader who had apparently understood that he didn't need to achieve the Apocalypse. Hell was run swiftly by Crowley, no more civil war, and no demons were to be seen on Earth.

There were still monsters bumping in the night, but that was what they were there for.

Every thing was going to be alright. 

His love had a home. 


End file.
